


Sleep For Time

by MsAnnieOakley1999



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (2008), Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Multi, Original Fiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-05-14 22:50:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 53,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19282810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsAnnieOakley1999/pseuds/MsAnnieOakley1999
Summary: Inspired by "Outlander" (TV and books), this is an American version of something similar and the story that unfolds.Julia is a young college student who appears to be able to travel back and forth through time starting at a young age.  It seems to happen when she desires to be anywhere but where she is.  Her ability is innocent enough until she is brutally attacked after a night course in college.  She jumps more than 200 years in the past into a very tense time between white man and native resistance.  Carefully traversing the two periods of time, she must decide which life is more important.  Does she find a way to stay firmly planted in 2019?  Or does she gamble on living alongside the history she's always studied?  Both offer their challenges, but also their possibilities for romance.





	1. The Confusion

You know how as life progresses and childhood falls away with the busyness of adulthood that you forget the tiniest of details even those with the most significance? It was in the dim reaches of my misty past that I realized I must have been about three years old the first time it happened. Laying in my bed at night wishing that I didn’t have to go to sleep. I closed my eyes as tight as I could and focused on playing in the afternoon sun. Suddenly, I was in the warmth and brightness of a perfect summer day. My toys were all about me, my sister beside me. I looked at her, she looked at me and we smiled. I picked up a toy and began to play. It was the greatest time of my life and it seemed to span on for hours, until Mom called us in for dinner. Just as quickly as it had begun, I woke up in my bed to the first pale streams of morning light filtering through the bedroom window.

I told my mother about how I closed my eyes and was able to play with my sister again at breakfast and she just nodded and smiled, saying, “It sounds like the most perfect, lovely dream, dear.” And that was it, it was just a dream. Similar events happened for years afterwards and came to a halt around my 12th birthday. My “dreams” weren’t as vivid as soon as the monthly visitor showed up, but that didn’t stop me from trying. I laid in bed one night, my eyes shut so tightly I feared they would adhere to each other, I wished upon every fiber of my being to know a time before my womanhood had arrived. I drifted slowly into a dream so lifelike that I began to believe something was up.

“Julia? Are you okay?”

“What? Huh? Um...I guess so?”

“What’s wrong?”

“This all feels familiar. It’s like I’ve been here and done all of this before.”

Laura threw her head back and laughed a deep, belly laugh. “You couldn’t have been here or done this before. I would remember.”

As I looked around, I knew exactly what she meant. She was about to take the stage for her solo at the spring choir concert. She only ever did that once. I had gone with her to the green room after the 6th grade choir had come off the stage. I figured I would be there for support because I knew she was nervous.

Laura rose from her seat, patted me on the head, and said, “Thanks for the laugh. That definitely eased the nerves. Wish me luck!”

And before I could think about it, I said, “Break a leg!”

That was not more than four weeks ago. I sat in the green room and watched her solo from the closed circuit stream. She did wonderfully. As I had known she would, but she did so all over again. It was so much deja vu that I pinched myself. I pinched myself so hard that a dark purple bruise began to form. I felt it and didn’t wake up.

Laura re-appeared in the green room and hugged me with excitement. Just like I knew she would. The conversation unfolded as I remembered it had. After the concert had finished, we went for ice cream and we all smiled. We went home and got ready for bed. As I laid in my bed, I wished it wouldn’t end. But slowly, my eyes closed and when they opened next, I was the same 12 year old girl with a period that I had been when I fell asleep.

Laura came bouncing into my room to wake me up.

“Get up sleepy head. Mom made pancakes.” Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks. “Whoa, where did you get that from?”

I looked down at my bare arm and there was a huge bruise on it. In the exact same place I had been dreaming I pinched myself.

“I don’t know. I must have bumped it in my sleep.” Laura walked over to the side of the bed and raised my arm to look closer at it. I pulled my arm away quickly.

“Julia, you sleep in a soft bed and there’s nothing hard next to your bed. Were you sleep walking and ran into something?”

“Did I used to sleepwalk?”

“I’ve never seen you do it, but maybe it’s something you do now that you are a woman.” She giggled.

“It’s so weird. I had a dream last night that I was pinching myself. I pinched myself so hard a bruise formed. Maybe I did that to myself in my sleep?”

“Julia, that’s weird.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Laura and I went down to our pancake breakfast. Mom was very fascinated by the bruise and Dad was somewhat indifferent until he realized I didn’t wake up when it happened. As I ate my pancakes, Mom and Dad discussed a doctor’s visit just to make sure that it wasn’t anything to worry about. It was settled, a bruise that significant required a trip just to make sure that it wouldn’t keep happening.

The following Monday, Mom got an appointment set up. A week or two passed and she took me to the appointment. By then the bruise had faded, but Mom had taken a few pictures and had them ready for the doctor to take a look at during the course of the appointment. As soon as he came in, Mom launched right into her fears and worries. The doctor looked over the pictures and reassured her that there was nothing to be concerned about. Sometimes pre-teens and teens do things that they don’t remember, but the body does. He told her to keep a close eye on me and should the bruises become more plentiful, he’d order a blood panel to make sure there wasn’t anything serious to worry about. After that the “dreams” all but stopped. No more bruises and thus Mom shrugged it off as a one off, bizarre teen thing.

I finished middle school and high school without any further time lapses. At my graduation party, I looked back at all of my accomplishments and remembered those heady days of youth where I could dream myself into the past. I truly began to believe that my youth was the only reason I would vividly dream about past events. It had left a print, however, and I had made the decision to go to college as a history major.

Having traversed all of my younger years with my sister by my side, until she herself went off to college, stepping out on my own seemed a daunting task, but one I embraced with wide eyed optimism. The real world had not ever affected me. I was always protected by my family. It was my everything. They supported me and kept me from making missteps that would derail my bright future. But I soon would be on my own without the safety net as my chosen school was nearly 100 miles from “home.”

I stayed on campus for my first year. I made all sorts of new friends and had the structure I needed to have to continue to feel safe and assured in my goals. The first semester passed with no incident. And the second followed much the same way. A group of friends decided to not live on campus for our sophomore year. We found a place together just off campus and moved in. I made weekend trips home, but worked most of the summer to pay bills and save up for tuition.

My sophomore year of college was slightly more difficult. The course work required more attention and thus I spent long hours studying between class and work. It wasn’t easy, but I was stubborn and determined to pass. Things in our apartment began to come unglued when several friends really started to heavily party. Sometimes bringing it back in the early morning hours. Three of us were serious students who worked, slept, studied, and never missed a class. The two others found freedom to be more enjoyable, skipped class, partied, brought back messes and noise that bothered the three of us who were diligent in our academic pursuits.

As our lease came to a close, the three of us who were planning to return knew that we couldn’t continue with the other two who were interfering with our goals. I spent an evening on the phone with my sister who was graduating from college soon and considering her Master’s degree at my school. She was waiting on an acceptance letter. She didn’t want to say anything until she knew for sure it was happening. She said she’d be happy to come take up the portion of the lease from the partiers. Her only request is that she could bring her boyfriend with her without me saying anything to our parents. He was a bit of a secret, but she said they were getting serious and she thought he might be the one. 

I waited for days to get a call from her saying that she’d been accepted and would be moving in after graduation. Her boyfriend would move in after that. Everything seemed to be going the way I wanted. I was going to have my sister with me and I’d be able to get through my junior year of college with no real issues.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. My sister moved in and my first semester of my junior year seemed to start uneventfully. I was digging deeper into my major and met a transfer student, Evan, who was into the same history I was. Some people love Europian history, but I was utterly fascinated with early American history. Something about the turmoil and upheaval, the war, the drama, the mystery and intrigue of a new world being created between “white” men and natives was just fascinating to me. I was particularly intrigued with the events surrounding the signing of the Treaty of Greene Ville. The area was a hotbed of tension between the westward expanding colonials and the natives trying desperately to hold onto their lands. The area was rife with history if only one would look close enough. Greenville became the home of Annie Oakley and I was so hopelessly in love with the whole idea of natives, colonials, cowboys, and in the midst there was this crazy woman who didn’t seem to ever miss her mark.

Evan was also incredibly focused on the history of the midwest, specifically in Western Ohio and Eastern Indiana between the 1700’s and early 1900’s. His family was from that area and his hope was to go back and become a history teacher either in middle or high school. He had goals and it seemed we were on the same page. We spent long hours studying for tests and papers at the library, a coffee shop, or in the commons. Until we began spending more and more time together to do things other than studying.

Laura would pick on me for having a boyfriend, but Evan and I had never discussed ever being anything more than friends. If we weren’t studying, we would walk the mall, go for bike rides, and during the colder months, I taught him to ice skate. We had so much fun together. He quickly became my best friend. And somewhere after Christmas, but before New Year’s of my Junior year, I realized I had caught feelings for him.

We spent New Year’s Eve with him and a few other friends. As midnight rolled in, Evan embraced me and kissed me gently at first and then as the cheers continued a bit more fervently. I wasn’t opposed at all, but I was confused. He had never said anything at all to me about having feelings for me. When we finally came up for air, I kept my eyes closed and my forehead on his. It felt good having someone by my side that was meshing so perfectly with everything I wanted for my life. I drank the moment in, a new year, a new love, and a new goal.

Evan and I had conversations after that during winter break where we discussed what we were and decided that we enjoyed each other too much to not continue to see where we would go. Our second semester of our Junior year had us busy with work for our majors, but with his minor in education, our schedules didn’t mesh as well. My schedule was crazy and my job would throw me shifts during the day so I could take a couple night classes that I needed for my major.  
One night, as I was walking home from my class, I became aware that something wasn’t quite right. I looked around and didn’t see anything. I did as my father had taught me and put my keys between my fingers so that should I have to fight someone off, I’d pack a bit more of a punch. I started to walk a little faster. I turned down my street and hadn’t taken more than a couple of steps before I was grabbed from behind.

The keys fell from my hand. I tried to remember anything from a self defense class I took with my sister in high school and came up with nothing. I was awash in panic knowing what was about to happen. It happened too much to women. I wasn’t out partying or showing too much skin. I knew that the victim blaming would happen, but I had on long boot cut jeans, a big coat and a scarf with a knit hat as the spring nights were still chilly walking home. There was nothing about my appearance that made me an easy target. The only thing I can think of is that he had watched me and knew who I was and what route I took. He had figured me out and that made me a victim.

His hand was over my mouth as he ran me head first into the dumpster behind my apartment building. I was dazed and pinned against the dumpster. I heard the zipper of his pants and felt him press himself against me. I knew what was coming and I didn’t want to be present. I wanted to lift myself out of my body and my mind. I could hear him breathing behind me, he nearly hissed with excitement. He had his full weight pinning me to the dumpster. He kicked my right leg out and then my left leg out so I was standing wide legged. Keeping his arm across my shoulders and all of his weight against me, I felt him reach for my pants with his other arm.

Before I could think, he had my pants pulled down to my hips and was panting. He slipped his hand into my underwear and it was in that moment I screamed. He pulled his hand out of my underwear and bashed my head against the dumpster. I felt the blood running down my face and knew I was suffering from a concussion. I didn’t say anything else. In that moment, I closed my eyes. I closed them as tight as I could. The tighter I squeezed my eyelids shut, the farther I seemed to fall from earth. Soon, I realized I had lost consciousness.

I woke what seemed like seconds later, but on a bright day, in green grass with trees all around. I rubbed my head slightly and pulled my hand up to look at it. There was no blood. I started checking myself over. I had a knit hat and scarf, but my coat was gone. In its place was a woolen blanket. I checked down farther to realize my jeans were gone and had been replaced with a full skirt. I was unscathed other than the odd state of dress I found myself.

As I looked around, I saw nothing distinguishable. No buildings, no people, no cars, no streets. I stood up without feeling any ill effects from having my head bashed. I called out, “Hello?” There was no response. I took a step and realized something felt odd. I pulled up the skirts to see my shoes were gone and had been replaced with something akin to boots. They were laced up and I had on wool socks. And it appeared I had on pantaloons. I was sufficiently confused. Perhaps my attacker was a history student and he had drugged me and dressed me up like a pioneer woman of the 1800’s. All of the clothing seemed incredibly accurate for that period. Only a historian could have gotten some of those details correct.

Finally realizing that the only thing holding me back was my hang up with my clothing. I started heading towards the trees. As I was about to enter the underbrush, I thought I saw something move off to my right. I turned and looked, seeing nothing. I figured if I just walked into the woods I’d find a trail or a stream or something that I could follow to civilization. Under the trees there was serenity. It was so quiet, save a bird or two chirping. The occasional bee would buzz by, but there were no sounds. It became quite disconcerting. I finally found a trail. I looked up to the sky to see where the sun was to try and determine direction. There was still dew on the plants and the sun was off to my left. I knew I was facing South. The trail faced East and West and I had no idea which way would take me to civilization. I began walking East in the hopes that I would find something, anything that would steer me.

I had walked for maybe twenty minutes when I came to a large creek. I began following it as it was flowing eastward and I figured eventually I would find someone with a house on it. I heard the slightest rustling in the underbrush and began to think I wasn’t alone. As I continued to walk, I’d occasionally look around and see nothing even though I felt as though I was being followed. The creek bent southward slightly, but I followed it to a wooden bridge. I crossed the bridge and followed the creek.

I saw something in the distance that looked like a building. I picked up my pace, but soon had to slow down. I hadn’t eaten anything and the skirts and everything were so heavy that I was having trouble continuing. But the site of a possible building gave me hope that I’d soon be back to my apartment, my sister, my school, my life, and could move past the whole sordid affair.

However, as I approached the building something was off. It was all wood and there were battlements. It looked like the colonial forts of the 1700’s and 1800’s. There were men atop the battlements. One spotted me and pointed his rifle at me.

“Halt, do not come any closer. State your name and business.”

I forgot my name for a moment and what my business would have been. Quick to come up with something, I gave them the first name I could think of and as much of the truth as I could remember. “My name is Julia Hollinger. I was attacked and woke up in a field back that way.”

“Julia Hollinger? Are you kin to John Hollinger?”

“I’m not sure. All I know is that I was attacked and I ended up wearing different clothes in a field I don’t know how I got into.”

“Wait there.”

He disappeared a moment and returned with someone wearing a dark blue dress coat. The man in the blue coat called out, “Are you okay?”

I responded, “I think so. I don’t know what happened to me.”

The man in the blue coat pointed behind me. I turned and looked to see figures moving in the trees behind me. A dark skinned man came out of the trees. He was dressed all in leathers and had paint on his face and a feather in his hair. His hair was dark and long. He was everything I would expect a native man to look like and seemed familiar. I’d seen his face before. Where, though? It had to have been a movie or maybe a book. It was a book. A history book. He looked exactly like Tecumseh from my Ohio history book.

I was about to call out to him when he raised an arm. I went to raise my arm in response when an arrow shot above my head into the fort. The blue coat man called to me, “Ms. Hollinger, hurry, to the gate!”

I began to run, but the skirts were impossible to move in. I hiked them up and started to stride quicker only to be struck in the shoulder with an arrow. I fell forward just as I was reaching the gate. I lost consciousness as the gate opened and men in blue coats pulled me through into the safety of the fort.

Hours passed and when I woke, I was in a hospital bed. Mom, Dad, and Julia were sitting around the room. Mom and Dad were dozing against each other in one corner. Julia was next to the bed looking at her cell phone. Julia looked up, her eyes red, and met my stare. She gasped and rushed to me and hugged me. Mom and Dad stirred and when they saw me looking at them, they rushed over. Julia let me go so that Mom and Dad could hug me. She left the room to find a doctor or a nurse, I’m unsure. Mom sat on one side of the bed and Dad on the other.

I reached for my shoulder. The pain was there, but there was no arrow. Mom shrieked and Dad stood up and ran from the room. When I pulled my hand away from my shoulder, it was covered in blood. Mom grabbed a towel and placed it against my shoulder.

“Julia, what happened?”

I was about to answer when the pain in my head seared through my body and I lost consciousness again. The next time I woke, Mom was sitting next to Julia by the bed. Julia saw me first and grabbed my hand. She nudged Mom who moved her chair closer and also grabbed my hand.

“Julia, don’t move. You’ve been attacked. You have severe head trauma that’s causing your brain to bleed. The excitement from before caused you to slip back into a coma. If you understand, blink twice.”

I heard what my mom was saying and so I blinked twice. But it didn’t seem to be making much sense. I was fine when the arrow hit me.

“The doctor says that they were so busy trying to get the brain trauma under control that they didn’t notice that you had a puncture wound in your shoulder that wasn’t bleeding until we agitated it. They’ve closed it up, but the head trauma is still very serious and you need to take it easy. Do you think you can talk?”

I nodded.

“Julia, honey, do you remember what happened to you?”

“I was attacked.”

Laura started to cry.

“Yes, dear, you were. What do you remember?”

My voice was just a whisper. “I was walking through the woods, in a dress from the 1800’s, and I found a fort. The fort got attacked by natives and I was shot by an arrow.”

Confusion washed over Mom’s face and Laura began to weep. Mom started to shake her head and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes.

“No, Julia, honey, that must have been a dream. You were walking home from class last Tuesday and a classmate attacked and raped you.”

Confusion washed over me. Raped? I wasn’t raped. I was shot with an arrow. The sicko attacked me, knocked me out, drugged me, dressed me up, and dumped me in a field. Perhaps he raped me when I was unconscious, but I didn’t remember that at all. I could feel my own hot tears forming. And I looked at Mom and at Laura, knowing they knew the whole story.

“Tell me what happened.” Mom looked at Laura and nodded. Laura sat forward in her chair.

“Tuesday night, you weren’t home when you were supposed to be. I figured maybe you were spending time with Evan. I texted you and you didn’t answer. When midnight rolled around, I went through your stuff and found Evan’s phone number. I called him, he was sleeping, and said he hadn’t seen you all day. I knew something happened, Julia. I’m so sorry.” Laura began to weep. Mom wrapped an arm around her and told her to keep going. “I threw on my coat and started to retrace the route you would have walked from your class. I got to the end of the street and I found your keys near the dumpsters. As I got close to them, I saw your coat laying on the ground next to the dumpster. Then I saw a shoe and then torn pieces of jeans.” Laura paused, trying to hold back her sobs. “You were on the ground, behind the dumpster, half naked, bleeding from your head. I called 911. Cops and ambulances and fire trucks. They put me in the back of a police car. I heard the cops telling Mom and Dad they were taking you to Saint Mary’s Hospital and to meet them there. The cop got in the car and we followed your ambulance.” Laura broke down sobbing quietly.

Mom rubbed Laura’s shoulder slightly. “Honey, you’ve been here for three days. They had you in a medical induced coma to try and reduce swelling in your brain. You were raped,” Mom started crying, “but they caught him and they have all the evidence they need to put him away for a long time. He even confessed. There will be no trial, but there is a very nice detective who wants your side of the story. Do you remember anything at all?”

I swallowed hard aware of the dryness in my mouth, but not on my cheeks. The tears had started to fall as the assault came back to me. I whispered all that I remembered and Mom and Laura sat quietly crying next to the bed. I knew I felt sore all over, inside and out, but some part of me couldn’t believe I had been raped. I knew when I was attacked it was going to happen, but to have no recollection of it at all and then to graphically remember being shot with an arrow, it was all too much. 

After we all were a touch more calm, I asked about the shoulder wound. “What caused the wound in my shoulder?”

“The doctor doesn’t know for sure. He said he didn’t remember seeing it before when they were doing surgery, but that occasionally puncture wounds can go unnoticed until the clot is disturbed. With the bleeding from your head, they cleaned you up without ever really seeing it until it started bleeding when you woke up.” Mom looked confused and unsure if her explanation made sense.

“I wasn’t shot with an arrow?”

“No, Julia, you weren’t shot with an arrow. The detectives are looking for a weapon that matches the wound, but haven’t found anything. They think it was probably a screwdriver or something.”

That couldn’t be. It just couldn’t. I felt it. I felt it. And then, I remembered the bruise. It couldn’t be possible. It just couldn’t be. Could it?

The next few days I fell in and out of sleep with a constant stream of friends and well wishers. The most frequent being family and Evan. Eventually, when all seriousness was in the past, the doctors released me without ever giving further information about the wound in my shoulder. My parents stayed with me and my sister at our place for a while to make sure I was settling in okay. Of course, this meant her boyfriend had to clear out for a few days, but he was more than willing to do that.

One evening, as I was getting into bed, I could hear Mom, Dad, and Laura getting into a heated debate. Mom and Dad wanted to move me home and when I was ready that I could come back to school. Laura disagreed and told them that I should stay right where I was because my doctors and friends and support network, except for my parents, were here. As they argued back and forth, exhaustion took over and I closed my eyes tightly. I just wanted to get away for awhile, to put all of the drama around me down for just a moment. As I fell into sleep, the sound of shouting turned into something different. It was something quieter and totally male.

As consciousness began to return, I could hear the faint sounds of whispering. At first it sounded like someone whispering in church, but as I became more and more aware, I realized it was a man telling another man to get someone. I blinked my eyes open and began to attempt to sit up.

“Now, now, miss, you don’t want to be moving quickly. Just lay still a moment.”

Realizing I felt dizzy, I laid back for a moment looking up at the ceiling. Where was I? The ceiling was made entirely of wood. Had Mom and Dad taken me to a cabin in the woods? I felt itchy and warm all over. I lifted my arm to see I was back in full dress complete with shift, corset, petticoat, and skirts. It would appear I was back to the fort, perhaps?

Into the room walked the man with the blue coat. With him was a stout looking older man. They approached the bed, which I realized was much too uncomfortable for my liking. 

“Well, Ms. Hollinger, it would appear the fever has broken and you are well on your way to recovery,” said the man in the blue coat. “This is Doctor Smith who has been looking after you while you convalesce. How are you feeling?”

Ms. Hollinger? Who is that? Was that me? Then I remembered in the fog of approaching the fort that I had given them Evan’s last name as mine. It was the first name I could think of in my bewilderment. I became aware that I hadn’t responded and so I cleared my throat and spoke up.

“I feel confused.”

“Confusion is common after such hysterics. Not to mention the fever. What were you doing wondering beyond the wall?” Asked Dr. Smith.

“I was attacked and woke up there.”

“Who attacked you?”

I thought for a moment. I didn’t know who had attacked me. I recalled my mother saying it was a classmate, but I didn’t know who exactly. 

“I didn’t see my attacker. He hit me from behind. When I woke, I was in the field, dressed in these clothes, and unsure of where I was.”

The doctor looked at the man in the dark blue coat and told him it was not uncommon for the savages to abduct women from villages and brutalize them in the wild leaving them there to die. The doctor speculated that this was the case seeing as the natives had followed me to the fort and laid siege upon the fort for hours after I took an arrow to the shoulder.

“I apologize, I don’t remember much of that day, could you please tell me exactly what has happened?” I requested.

The man in the dark blue coat stepped forward. “Begging my pardon, Ms. Hollinger, I am General Anthony Wayne. I am with the Legion of the United States. I am here at the pleasure of President George Washington to fight the savages that are resisting our God given rights to these lands. I am brokering a treaty of peace between us and the savages. I arrived a few days ago to meet with the leaders of the tribes in these parts and found you wandering to the gate of this fort.”

“My apologies, may I inquire as to which fort?”

Wayne looked at the doctor who nodded and he continued. “This is Fort Greene Ville. Have you heard of it?”

I had, but in history books. I knew the fort no longer stood and there were monuments to mark its existence. I was definitely dreaming or really in the 1700’s.

“What year is it?” I asked.

“Why it is the year of our Lord 1795,” replied the doctor.

Shocked for a moment, I nodded. I looked back at General Wayne, feeling very faint, and requested he continue.

“It was as I came to the gate that I saw the savages in the trees behind you. They began firing on the fort and you when you were struck with an arrow. We pulled you through the gate and have been tending to your wounds since.”

“Wounds?”

The doctor stepped forward. “You had a bump to your head and you were struck by an arrow. I patched the arrow wound as best I could, but the injury to your head was going to require time to see if you would survive.”

“How long have I been here?”

“Four days. You have recovered miraculously. Is there family nearby that we can dispatch a rider to inform?”

I thought for a moment and realized that I had no connections. If I truly was in 1795, I wouldn’t have even had family in the country. My family sailed from England in 1854. I didn’t know enough about Evan’s family to even begin to have an idea of who they would have been. I looked up into the doctor’s concerned face and my eyes began to well with tears.

Dr. Smith sat on the edge of the bed. “Dear miss, I did not mean to overwhelm you. We’ll send word to John Hollinger that a relative has turned up in the wild and that he should come collect you.” I nodded not realizing the implications of what was to come.

“Dr. Smith, I leave Ms. Hollinger in your capable hands. I have preparations I must make. I shall take my leave.” General Wayne turned to me, “Ms. Hollinger, I wish you safe travels back to your family and health to continue God’s will for your life.” And General Wayne turned to leave.

A soldier by the name of Welch came into the room and was greeted by Dr. Smith. They assisted me in sitting up slowly. I felt as I had when I fell asleep in my bed, in the future. My head was spinning, slightly hazy, and my shoulder was sore.

“I must say, Ms. Hollinger, this wound to your shoulder has healed so quickly. I cannot think of a time when I saw anything like it. And I’ve been tending to the wounded in these parts for a very long time.”

Perhaps it was modern medicine that he should be remarking upon, but I didn’t dare say such a thing to him. It was still a time when those with delusions were locked up or killed for being a witch. And if I knew what was about to happen, that would make me a person to be feared and thus they would do away with me. I smiled and nodded.

I spent the day with Dr. Smith. He walked me up and down the inner fort walls, staying clear of the men as much as possible. Many of the men posted in the fort had been away from family for a while. Women were scarce at this outpost as it was dangerous and no real place for a lady. Late in the afternoon, a rider was dispatched to head east towards the village to send notice to John Hollinger that he should retrieve me. I had no fear that I would miss him entirely. Perhaps I would slip back into a fever and wake again in my bed, 224 years in the future.

After a very light dinner of bread and coffee, I was escorted by Welch back to the room I woke in to succumb to exhaustion. The events of the day swirled in my hand and sleep claimed me rather quickly. It was a fitful sleep, however, no dreams and interruptions aplenty. It was the wee hours of the morning when the alarm went up. I’m not sure what woke me, but soon there was so much commotion that sleeping was nigh impossible.  
I rose from the bed and went to the door. I could hear the heavy thud of footsteps from men running outside my door. I reached for the door handle and as I did, in barged Dr. Smith.

“Quick, my lady, hide under the bed. The savages have entered the fort. We are under attack.” 

In just a shift, I strode quickly over to the bed and crawled under it. The fort had erupted into a cacophony of sound. There was pistol and musket fire, screaming and yelling, some in voices that made no sense to my ears. I heard Dr. Smith bar the door and walk to the bed. He sat down on top of the bed.

“Have no fear, my dear, this shall all be over shortly. I will sit here to protect you by distraction.”

I have no recollection of how long I cowered under the bed until finally a great thump came on the door. Dr. Smith whispered, “Say nothing, my lady. The savages have found us. Help should come quickly.” I heard Dr. Smith fiddling with something metal, then the sound of powder, followed by the sound of metal scraping metal. I realized he was loading a black powder pistol. The sound at the door grew in intensity, until the thumping all but stopped. The doctor rose from the bed and went to the door. He removed the bar and began to open the door and as he did a native pushed through and knocked Dr. Smith to the ground and then used the butt of his musket to knock the doctor out.

The natives looked around and appeared to be appeased until one looked under the bed. He reached for me and I screamed. He pulled me kicking and thrashing from under the bed and threw me over his shoulder. He and several like him left the room and went to a portion of the wall where ropes were hanging. In no time at all, he was over the wall and running through the dark with me on his shoulder. It jostled me so that I could not continue screaming as I struggled to catch my breath.

We crossed the creek to find horses that were being held by still more natives. In complete shock, I remained silent as the natives put me on horseback and my captor climbed behind me. They quickly bound my hands and off we trotted to break into a full gallop. Horse riding was not one of my past times and thus, I bounced around on the back of the horse and nearly fell off. However, the captor held me tightly and used his considerable body weight to pin me against him so that body mirrored his own.

We rode for quite a while until the first pastel wisps of clouds formed about the horizon indicating the coming sun. In the shadows of the early morning stood several structures. I was unsure of their distinction, but they were definitely not teepees.

As we rode closer to the settlement, I could see that it was just a small outcropping of natives living there, but there were women and children. We trotted past them straight to a worn, but well painted structure. Still puzzled, I remained silent as I dismounted the horse feeling every ache and pain of being wounded and riding bareback across the countryside. There was no more denying it, I had travelled back in time and was about to come face to face with natives. I knew this time was not a pleasant one for white people and natives, but I had hoped that should I just comply, they’d not kill me. Ever present in my mind was the bruise. Whatever happened to me here, would happen to me in the future. I had to carefully mind my words and action or I could lose everything.

We walked up to the structure and entered to a warm dark dwelling of many natives. All of whom sat up immediately. Words were exchanged and a man was roused towards the back of the dwelling. He sat up and looked towards us. He rose and walked over to us. He looked down at my hands and then into my eyes.

“Are you the one who rose from the field?”

I had to think for a moment. It dawned on me that they had been watching me in the field the first time I woke up in 1795.

“Yes, that was me.”

Suddenly, every person in the dwelling rose to their feet. Some began to quietly chant while others ran out the door. The man behind me, holding the rope that bound my hands let the rope drop. Immediately the man in front of me untied the rope around my hands.

“I am Lalewithaka. Behind you is my brother, Tecumseh. I have waited for you.”

Say what? He waited for me? I was unsure if I was dreaming. Perhaps I was delusional. Would I wake in a mental hospital delirious with stories of natives and colonials? I was trying to figure out what was going on when the man in front of me spoke to the people still in the dwelling and they dispersed, including the man behind me.

The man in front of me took my hand and led me to the fire. He walked over to a wood pile and grabbed a log and tossed it onto the fire. He laid down a hide next to the fire and bid me to sit. He laid a second one beside it and sat down next to me.

Looking into the fire, he began, “Many moons ago I dreamt of a white woman who appeared in the eye of an owl. Her skin pale and her eyes curious. Her course was to guide the owl between the past and the future. She would approach her people only to be pierced by an arrow of Tecumseh. With that mark, Tecumseh was to bring her to me so that she could confirm my visions and make me a prophet.” He paused to poke at the fire, but his stare never left the flames. “You have come and I am convinced I am a prophet. I have asked for these signs and visions my entire life. I have listened to them all, but still doubted. Until you arrived.” He sighed heavily and rose from his feet. 

Looking at him, it was apparent he was about my age. I could smell him. It was a mixture of sweat, earth, smoke, and alcohol. He grabbed another log and placed it on the fire before returning to his seated position.

“Tell me, what do the gods want from me.” He remained fixed on the flames. I knew nothing of native life. I did not know how to answer him and was afraid to answer him incorrectly.

“I am unaware. I am sorry.”

“Do not be sorry. There is always confusion between the spirits when they change from air to person. You will find clarity and when you do, you will answer me. What do you know about how you came to be in that field?”

“I was attacked by a man. He hit my head and when I woke, I was in the field, dressed with close that were not my own. I rose and walked to the fort where I was struck with an arrow. I slept for four days. The night after I woke, the fort was attacked and I was taken.”

“There is more. There is more you are not telling me. You do not lie. But you do not speak the truth. What time do you come from?”

How did he know? He couldn’t have known. I sat bewildered, unsure how to respond.

“I have seen it. I have seen the plague of white man on our lands. I have seen them destroy everything we hold dear. I have seen the death of horses and the rise of beasts that consume the world. I have seen what is to come. You cannot scare me more than my visions have.”

“I was born in the year 1997. I was attacked and raped by a man in 2019. I have always been able to close my eyes and exist in another time. My body in that time feels the effects of the time I went to. Anything that happens to me here, happens to me there. I don’t know how.”

He nodded thoughtfully listening to me. I couldn’t believe I had said what I had said, but I couldn’t hold onto it any longer. And if he truly had seen my coming, he would know anyway.

“Is what I have seen what comes to pass?” He accepted my explanation without any question.

“Horses are not dead, but they are not as plentiful. And we did create machines that are destroying the planet.”

“Thank you. Will you stay with me so that we can discuss all that I have seen?”

I realized it was an invitation and not a threat. I was in a time that was not my own. How was I to refuse the knowledge of the inner workings of his tribe when this had been my life’s purpose before I blinked myself into the past? I knew his name. I knew his brother’s name. I knew where I was and I knew what was about to happen. I had arrived in 1795, before the signing of the Treaty of Greene Ville. I was in the camp of a Shawnee Tribe that belonged to Lalewithaka and Tecumseh as they made their last futile efforts to oppose a treaty with further settlement and concessions to the west of Fort Greene Ville. 

I knew I was in no immediate danger as the subject of a vision. There was a certain amount of protection to be expected if the gods were responsible for my appearance and thus I was treated not like the white woman I was, but as an instrument of the many spirits of the world. I nodded my agreement to remain. What had I agreed to?


	2. Native Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia gets a new name and a taste of Native Life.

From the warmth of Lalewithaka’s dwelling, I was taken to another structure by native women. Using only gestures, they indicated that they were going to change my clothes. Many of the women looked at me as just another person, but there were a few I could tell were not pleased that I was there. I didn’t fight, however, and before long, I was in much warmer clothing. Thankfully it was lighter and more maneuverable than the clothes I woke up wearing.

Afterward, I was left alone. I sat next to the fire on some furs that were placed near the flames. The longer I sat, the drowsier I became. I wanted to lay myself down and just rest, but it became apparent that it would be impossible to do so. Between long blinks, I noticed that the dwelling was beginning to fill up. There was food and pelts, drinks and weapons. I became aware that there were people gathering around me. Men and women alike were lining up around the outside of the dwelling. My drowsiness disappeared when Tecumseh walked into the dwelling.

Standing directly in front of me, Tecumseh spoke first in his native tongue, and then directly to me.

“My brother has seen a great vision. A pale white mare who dwells within the eye of the owl. She heralds life and death with a word. She leads us to white man to cure the sickness they bring to our lands. She preserves our people and destroys them at the same time. She is not a god, but dwells with them. We will thank the spirits for the gift of her dwelling with us.”

Those gathered began to vocalize. Their words were as foreign to me as if I had travelled to the other side of the world. But from his words, I knew Tecumseh had essentially marked me as the only white person that his people were not to destroy. Something about his brother’s vision made me valuable to them. And for a moment, I was able to relax knowing I was in no danger.

After a short while, the crowd dispersed leaving behind the food, drink, weapons, and pelts. Only Tecumseh remained. He looked at me with such intensity that I felt threatened, but also safe. It was intoxicating to be full of fear, but at the same time calm as a bird at rest. My body was on high alert, waiting for my instincts to either run or relax. Tecumseh approached me and when he was about a foot away from me, he squatted down.

“I do not trust you,” he said.

“I do not trust you,” I replied.

“If it were not for my brother, I would have killed you before you ever could have entered the dwelling of the white man.” He grabbed the neck of my top and pulled it down my left shoulder. His eyes grew wide. “I shot you. This wound should be fresh.”

Shocked at the sudden movement, I looked down at the arrow wound in my shoulder. It was scabbed and healing nicely. I looked him right in the eye and didn’t say a word. How could I tell him that I had been cared for by doctors from the year 2019? Their medicine heals quicker than the medicine of 1795. He wouldn’t believe me. He said as much.

“You are not what you appear.” He continued.

“No, I am not.”

“Where did you come from?”

“Somewhere that doesn’t exist yet.”

He rose and turned his back on me. “You speak in riddles.”

“No, I speak the truth.”

“I cannot trust you.”

Trying desperately to find the right words, I thought of every pithy comeback from every book I had ever read and still found nothing worthy of responding. I looked down at my hands as they moved across the soft leather tunic. The trauma of the last 24 hours began to settle into my thoughts and I didn’t know whether to cry or straighten my backbone. I could feel the tears begin to form in my eyes and looked up at him. He had turned to face me anticipating a response.

“I have been a great many things in my short life. But a liar is not one of them. Believe me false if you must, but I speak the truth.”

Smirking, he once again squatted in front of me. “If I find you sneaking off to the white man,” he looked down at the still exposed shoulder wound and nodded towards it, “I will finish what I started.” He lifted a hand and touched the wound ever so slightly. Staring at it, as if transfixed by some deeper thought, he lingered for a moment with his fingers on my skin. Suddenly realizing where he was and what he was doing, he rose and left the dwelling.

Alone again I decided to look around the tent to see what all had been left. I rose slowly and looked around. I found a few bread items that I believed I could eat and took them back to the furs next to the fire. I ate a couple before the mixture of emotional release and fullness beckoned me to sleep. I laid down across the furs and closed my eyes gently. I fell into a deep sleep. In my dreams I heard the voices of my family and friends, but saw nothing. I woke a long time later to a couple people standing around. One nudged the other and the other got up and left the tent.

Just as quickly as he’d gone, he reappeared with Lalewithaka and Tecumseh. They cleared everyone from the room and sat across the fire from me. Lalewithaka spoke first.

“Everything in this tent is for you. These are the gifts of my people to appease you and the spirits who brought you here. You may do with all of this as you please.”

I looked around and decided that much of what was there would not be anything of use to me.

“In the hopes of gaining trust, I would like all of the weapons to be removed. They may be used by anyone who needs to use them. I want to keep only the tea, some of the food, clothes, some of the blankets, and jewelry.”

“What would you have us do with the rest of it?”

“Whatever is acceptable. I don’t know your customs and would not want to offend you. I do not have need for most of the items in here.”

Tecumseh looked angry, very, very angry. He rose suddenly with his hand on a knife he kept at his waste. Lalewithaka grabbed his arm and pulled him back to the ground.

“Forgive my brother, he does not see the need for a white ally. I would like to have you live with us and help us to defeat our enemy.”

“What makes you believe I will help you defeat your enemy?”

“I saw it. In a vision.”

And here I was worried that I would be considered delirious. It was obvious, however, that he was serious and that Tecumseh took him very seriously.

“And no harm will come to me?”

Lalewithaka looked at Tecumseh and then back at me. “As long as you do not betray our trust, you will remain unharmed.”

Tecumseh whispered under his breath something to Lalewithaka. I knew it would be difficult to earn his trust, but I wanted to show him I meant no harm. I didn’t feel safe, but I didn’t feel safe at the fort either. I had to choose which side of history I wanted to be on and knowing what was coming for the natives, I didn’t want to choose the side that would commit such atrocities to such an honest people. I steeled my resolve and agreed to help them.

“Good. That is settled and we will begin in the morning. Tonight, we will praise the spirits for their gift of the white mare. You will be our honored guest. Join us.” Lalewithaka rose and came around the fire to take my hand. I took his hand and rose. He led me outside to a gathering of people and towards the middle of their encampment. A large chair made of wood had been erected and he sat me in it. There were two smaller chairs being built on either side. Throughout the early evening hours, people came and went. Children would walk by and leave behind little gifts of the first buds of spring, mostly dandelions. As the chairs next to mine were finished Tecumseh and Lalewithaka took their places. And as the sun fell, the celebration began. None of it made any sense to me. There was food and drink, singing and dancing, laughter and anger. The souls gathered round the fire burned brighter than the fire itself. It was as if they were alive in ways that I could and would never understand.

With a fully belly, and perhaps slightly inebriated, I found myself dozing off in the chair. No matter the sound around me, my own soul had found rest with these strange people under a clear sky so beautiful that I could have sworn it was a dream. I’m unsure as to how long I had been asleep when I was jostled slightly and realized I was being carried. I leaned my head into the shoulder of the person carrying me and sighed ever so quietly. I had not felt so protected and safe in all of my life.

I woke only for a moment when I was laid next to a fire on furs. When I looked up from where I had been placed, I saw the face of Tecumseh. He looked quite emotionless, but something stirred within his eyes and I could have sworn for a moment there was something different there. Something, not unkind. It was as if for a moment, the malice he held towards people who looked like me had stepped aside and he appreciated the fact that I was human. But I closed my eyes and fell back into a restful slumber.

When I woke in the morning, there were people milling about the tent. There was fresh bread and tea waiting for me. Tecumseh was off in the corner talking to a man. Someone must have said I was awake because he suddenly looked at me. The man he was talking to left the dwelling and he came and sat beside me.

“Our medicine man is going to come and look at your shoulder. We hoped to ride to a nearby tribe today to discuss with them the future. My brother wants you to come with us.”

“Why?”

“The future of all of the tribes of these lands is at stake. Many are tired of fighting the white man and want to live in peace. Anthony Wayne is offering peace. My brother does not believe he means to give us peace. If we can prove to these tribes that Anthony Wayne will not bring peace, they may not agree with him.”

“How will you prove to them that General Wayne will not bring peace?”

“With you. You will tell them. You have seen it.” Had I seen it though? In all of my history books, it was not General Wayne who broke the Treaty of Greenville, but rather the natives.

“I don’t know that I can do that.” I responded.

“You will and you will not lie. I have risked too much, seen his brutality. I know what kind of man he is and he will not rest until me and my brothers and sisters are destroyed and he inherits our lands.”

That sounded accurate. With every battle that General Anthony Wayne won, he gained more ground in the much coveted westward expansion. He seemed to have little regard for lives lost least of those the lives of, as he would call them, savages.

“Fallen Timbers.”

Tecumseh froze. “What did you say?”

“Fallen Timbers. You survived Fallen Timbers.”

“How did you know that?”

I paused for a moment. I had promised the truth. “I read it in a book.”

This confused Tecumseh greatly. To him, it had been less than a year since that happened. In this time this news would have scarcely reached the President let alone be written in the books that a woman would be allowed to read.

“When did you read this?”

Being mindful of my vow to honesty, “A long time ago.”

He rose from his position next to me and look bewildered. He looked down at me and then, without another word, strode quickly from the tent. The remaining people murmured to each other in his wake. One of the women cleared out the men and they went about brushing my hair and assisting me in getting dressed for a journey.

A short time later, Lalewithaka arrived with the medicine man. They looked at my shoulder and the medicine man spoke to Lalewithaka.

“He says you are healthy to journey. We will ride out this afternoon.” He spoke to the women in the tent and ushered the medicine man out of the tent. I spent a long time by the fire thinking about what I had said to Tecumseh and not knowing how else I could have told him what I knew. I felt awful for disturbing him.

The women of the tiny village were busy around me the whole early afternoon. Gathering supplies and making sure I had what I needed. I was fitted with a pair of tall moccasins and a fur coat. I had a roll that they gave me right before Lalewithaka came back. When he arrived he spoke to the women and dismissed them. Then he came to me.  
“I hope that you can ride a horse. We will ride to the next closest tribe to discuss with them all you have seen. Before we do that, I need to know what all you have seen.”

We sat down by the fire. And he looked at me earnestly with kindness in his eyes.

“Tecumseh tells me you know of Fallen Timbers.”

“I do.”

“He said you read it in a book, a long time ago. How long ago did you read it?”

I thought for a moment. It was part of my eighth grade history class. That had to have been eight years ago. Wanting to remain true to my promise to tell the truth, even though I had not made that promise to Lalewithaka, I responded, “It was over eight years ago.”

Lalewithaka sat thinking for a minute. “You know it has not been a full year since it happened?”

I nodded, “I am aware.”

“Do not share this information with anyone else. No one will know how to handle this knowledge.” He continued to quietly contemplate for a moment.

“I know what is going to happen in the very near future. And I know that it doesn’t end well for you and your brother.”

“Please tell me,” begged Lalewithaka.

I recount to him the signing of the Treaty of Greenville and the native resistance that comes to a head with the War of 1812. I tell him how he is exiled to Canada and then ultimately moves his people to a reservation in Kansas in 1824 and died in that reservation 12 years later.

“And what of my brother, Tecumseh?”

“He dies in battle, in 1813.”

I could see tears welling in his eyes. He knew I was from the future. He knew that what I was saying would come to pass and he wanted to guide his people away from the sadness and death that was coming for them.

“How do I stop it? How do I protect my people? How do we keep the white man from destroying who we are?”

And with all the honesty in my heart, I sadly replied, “I do not know.”

“What do we do to keep it from happening?”

I thought about it, but there was no way to know what would work. Would retreating protect them? Would my presence help them, give them an upper hand? Should they just desert their lands and head to places not yet inhabited? Every option that I could think of presented challenges. Tears sprung to my eyes. I felt for him, he just wanted to save his people the pain. One tear found its way down my cheek and I looked him in the eye and shook my head.

Quietly, I replied, “I really don’t know.”

If I knew anything about him and his brother from the future, they wouldn’t give up. They would find whatever way possible to stop the spread of white men and protect their lands and people. Even so, with no clear cut way ahead, Lalewithaka rose. He put his hand out for me to take.

“I will not give up on my people. And neither will you. We must be on our way now.” I took his hand and stood. I grabbed my bed roll and followed him out of the tent.

“Can you ride a horse?”

“I cannot.”

“You will have to ride with Tecumseh. I do not have experience riding with another and so you will fare better with him.”

Before I could object, Lalewithaka walked off towards the awaiting horses. One of the horses was for me, but became a pack horse. A group of people were waiting around the horses for our departure. Lalewithaka whistled and a moment later Tecumseh appeared. Tecumseh mounted his horse and Lalewithaka helped me to mount the horse in front of Tecumseh. 

Lalewithaka mounted his horse and began to pull away from the gathering. Tecumseh pulled me closer to him. “Follow the movement of my body and you will make this much easier on both of us.” He guided the horse to follow Lalewithaka. Lalewithaka turned his horse, raised his arm, and shouted back at them. They returned his arm raising and shouting and Tecumseh took off. Galloping ahead of Lalewithaka I mirrored every move that Tecumseh made trying to keep his horse from faltering and me from falling.

We did not speak as we galloped through fields and plains, wooded and rocky ground. We arrived to the village as night fell. Tecumseh dismounted and helped me off his horse. He set me down and there was a deep ache in my legs, but also my shoulder. Instinctively I raised my hand to rub at my shoulder.

Tecumseh pulled my hand away and looked beneath my clothes to ensure that it hadn’t opened in our journeys. Nodding his head, I knew I was okay and he turned to his brother. A large gathering of natives had arrived around us and Lalewithaka was scanning the faces of those gathered. A large man pushed his way through the crowd and greeted first Tecumseh and then Lalewithaka, preferring to speak to Lalewithaka. Tecumseh left me, Lalewithaka, and the horses and made his way through the crowd that had gathered. 

Lalewithaka put his hand on my elbow and must have explained who I was to what I assumed was the chief of the tribe we would be talking to. The chief, Lalewithaka and myself walked towards a dwelling and entered. I sat quietly listening to the two native men speak with each other. I looked around and drank in every detail.

I had longed all my life to understand what I was studying and now I had found myself smack dab in the middle of it. I didn’t have to talk to anyone or listen as I wouldn’t understand the words they spoke. I could enjoy every sight and experience as it happened as an outsider who was brought in just to observe. And I was determined to observe it all.

As I sat totally involved in my thoughts and in the sounds of a native tribe living their lives, I began thinking about the season. Judging by the days, it had to be late spring. Maybe May or June. The days were warm, but the nights were cool. There were leaves on the trees and grass on the ground. But it had that dappled green that tells you it has not withstood the storms of a summer season. I knew we were a few short months from the signing of the Treaty of Greenville.

This would be the brothers’ last push to keep the neighboring tribes from signing the treaty. It was obvious that they were welcomed at these tribes, but there was also a tension that ran beneath that said they were all on opposite sides. The discussion between Lalewithaka and the chief continued and after a while, Tecumseh joined them in the tent and their discussion. It seemed like hours I sat in silence just observing.

Finally, Lalewithaka and Tecumseh rose and walked over to me. I assume they introduced me again, but I do not know how I was introduced as I had never given them my Christian name. The chief didn’t seem too thrilled with me. But Lalewithaka seemed to indicate that I was something more than meets the eye and the chief raised an eyebrow in interest. Tecumseh offered me his hand to help me to my feet. I rose and we walked towards the chief.

I was formally introduced to the chief, Blue Jacket. I could only think that I was in the presence of one of the individuals who signed the Treaty of Greenville. We sat around the fire and the discussion began again. They continued to speak in a tongue I did not know. They all looked troubled and thus I didn’t attempt to try to understand. I was fairly certain that they all could speak to me if they needed to, but the fact that they weren’t, meant they didn’t want to tell me what they were discussing.

Finally as the fire began to wax and wane, Tecumseh rose and offered me his hand again. I rose and left the dwelling with him. He seemed angry and upset. I wanted to understand. But I also didn’t want to upset him.

“Am I allowed to know what happened in there?”

“No.” Tecumseh replied.

“Why not?” I pushed.

“Because you are a spirit woman who should already know what happened in there.”

I thought on it a moment. “He means to sign the treaty even faced with the evidence of a vision.”

Tecumseh stopped in his tracks. “Do you know our words?”

“I do not.”

“So then you do know what happened in there?”

“I have a pretty good guess, but I do not know.”

“Then white mare, you are really good at guessing.”

“Why does he still intend to sign?”

“You should know this White Mare.”

“I’m guessing he thinks you stole me and created the story. Your ploys aren’t enough to convince him to do what he can to end the violence against his people.”

“Without seeing you rise from the field himself, he can not believe what my little brother has seen,” he explained.

Tecumseh had not released my hand and was pulling me behind himself. Suddenly I stopped and dug my heels into the earth. He spun on me and got in my face.

“I do not trust you, you do not help me, and I am tempted to kill you. And yet, there is something about you that keeps me from doing it. Do not fight me, White Mare, you will not win and your scalp would make a great prize.”

“I trust you completely. You have had every opportunity to kill me and you have not. You have protected me and provided for me. And I believe that you were there when I stood up from that field.”

His eyes gave away his surprise. As quickly as it was there, the surprised look vanished and I was left standing face to face with one of the greatest Shawnee warriors and chiefs of all time. I do not know where my strength came from, but I held onto it knowing that without it, I would die.

Quickly he turned around and tried to walk away. However, I would not budge. He drug me a few inches until he turned around, released my hand and threw me over his shoulder. I screamed out of shock. There were many looking at us and when I lifted my head, I saw both Blue Jacket and Lalewithaka come out of the dwelling. Lalewithaka walked away from Blue Jacket and made quick strides to catch up with me and Tecumseh.

“What is going on here?” Lalewithaka asked.

“I’m taking the White Mare back where I found her.” Tecumseh answered.

Lalewithaka ran ahead of Tecumseh and stopped in front of him bringing Tecumseh up short. He began speaking to him in their native tongue and I knew they were having a disagreement. They sounded like me and Laura. And it was in that moment that I remembered, I had a family, in the future that I really should get back to, but what if I couldn’t get back here? This is where my heart wanted to be, to experience it all for myself. But my heart was also with my family. I was torn between two lives that were vastly different.

Finally, Lalewithaka dropped in beside Tecumseh and they continued walking and talking. We arrived at a dwelling and before we entered, Tecumseh allowed me down off of his shoulder, but grabbed my wrist. He walked through the door in the dwelling pulling me behind him. Inside was warm, cozy, and bright. I looked behind to see if Lalewithaka was following us and he was not.

“Sit.” Tecumseh huffed. I found a fur to sit on and sat down next to the fire. Tecumseh rummaged through various bags around the dwelling and came and sat next to me. He handed me a piece of bread and salted meat. I took both and began to eat. I soon became aware of my thirst and noticing my need he got up and came back with a wooden cup of something that burned down my throat even though it was cool on my tongue. I had to assume it was some sort of liquor. He sat quietly next to me eating his food. When he was done, he rose and left the dwelling for a moment. I sat by the fire watching the flames dance and throw shadows across the leather walls.

Mesmerized by the fire, I didn’t see Tecumseh come back in until he sat down next to me. He started long into the fire as well. We sat in silence until I saw him, out of the corner of my eye, look at me. I turned my head and looked deep into his eyes. It was there again. That look of something pleasant. He turned his head back towards the flames quickly and then huffed, “Sleep.”

I laid down next to the fire and quickly fell into sleep. Once again, as I dreamed I heard the voices of family and friends floating in the darkness. I missed them, but I wasn’t ready to go back to them yet. I had to know what Tecumseh would do next.

The next morning, when I woke, the tent was empty. The fire burned quietly keeping me warm. I sat up and peered into it once more. Sitting there warming my hands by the flames, I was once again lost in thought. Where had he gone? Where was Lalewithaka? Were we staying here much longer? Would we go back to their people or would we move on to another tribe? Where exactly was I? Would it be Indiana? Possibly Kentucky? Or was I still in Ohio? I couldn’t be any farther south than Tennessee, but this land was much too flat to be Tennessee. And of course I couldn’t ask because at this point, Tennessee, Ohio and Indiana didn’t exist officially.

As I sat trying to ponder where in the United States I was, Tecumseh walked back in and handed me “breakfast” which was just bread. I ate it quietly while still trying to figure out where I was. Tecumseh was busying himself in the tent when Lalewithaka came in to discuss their argument the night before. They spoke for a while so I couldn’t understand, but half way through they started to speak English.

“We have to ride on to the next tribe.” Lalewithaka argued.

“I need to get home to my wife. I told you this was not going to work.” He pointed at me, “She may be the White Mare, but she is only that to you.” Tecumseh responded.

“We have to try, brother, for our people.”

“Our people need us to fight with them. Not leave them for other tribes to convince those tribes to fight with us. This is a fool’s errand.”

“If you must go, you will have to take the White Mare with you. I cannot ride with her.”

“What am I supposed to do with her? You need her as evidence.”

“That is why I need you brother. Please help me take her to the other tribes and explain who she is. It is the only way they will know and I will be able to say I tried.”

Tecumseh paused for a moment. He looked at his brother and spoke to him so only he would understand. Lalewithaka relaxed and responded. Turning to me, Lalewithaka said, “We will ride on. Gather your things, we leave soon.” He left and Tecumseh followed shortly behind him.

I rose from my seat next to the fire and began rolling up the bed roll that I had brought along. I didn’t have many other supplies. I was ready in fairly short order. As all of my things were ready to go, I sat back down by the fire and waited. I felt so useless just sitting around all of the time, but it was clear that I wasn’t meant to be poking my nose where it didn’t belong. After a short time, Tecumseh returned to take me to the horses. The pack horse was loaded down with a few more items than we had arrived with and I realized the tribe was giving us supplies for the next leg of our journey.

Tecumseh got on his horse and Lalewithaka helped me up in front of him. With far less fanfare than we left their tribe, we departed from the Blue Jacket’s Shawnee village and began the journey to the next tribe. The journey began at a trot and as soon as the Shawnee dwellings were out of sight, we slowed to a canter.

There wasn’t much talk as we wandered our way through fields and trees. There was so much untouched earth that I could scarcely remember what towns and cities looked like. I had never seen so many wide open spaces. My mind jumped from thought to thought to thought to thought. Finally, after a while, I settled on family. Realizing Tecumseh mentioned a wife, I decided to talk to him about her.

Turning my head to see him out of the corner of my eye, I asked, “You are married?”

“Yes. Mamate.”

“How does she feel about you journeying to these tribes?”

“The tribe takes care of her. She does not think of me.”

“How could she not? She is with child, is she not?”

Lalewithaka was riding next to us and looked over and grinned. “I told you, brother. She knows.”

“She is, but it is new.” Tecumseh responded to me.

“I would imagine that being with your child that she would want you near her.”

“Women do not trouble their husbands with women things.”

“I would want my husband near me if I were to be pregnant.”

Tecumseh’s hand came to my right shoulder as if he were going to push me off the horse, but Lalewithaka grabbed his arm to prevent him from doing so.

“Perhaps, White Mare, it is better if you do not speak.” Lalewithaka said. 

“I’m sorry. I just thought I’d make polite conversation.”

“It is better to quietly thank the Great Spirit for his blessing on our travels. The rains have gone and now the earth grows with gifts for us to cherish.”

I rode silently for a while longer. Lalewithaka hummed quietly to himself until he stopped and spoke to Tecumseh directly. As they often had, they spoke so I wouldn’t understand them. We approached a stand of trees and dismounted. Tecumseh took the horses down to a stream to drink leaving Lalewithaka and myself to look around. 

“We will sleep here tonight. Go find wood for a fire.” I departed into the trees to begin looking for any wood that had fallen from the trees. I found a large quantity, more than my arms could hold and I returned to Lalewithaka. Tecumseh was nowhere to be seen.

“Where has Tecumseh gone?” I asked Lalewithaka.

“He has gone to hunt. He will return soon.” Lalewithaka busied himself making a fire and laying furs.

After a while watching his movements, I asked Lalewithaka why Tecumseh did not like talking about his wife.

“Mamate was not his first choice in a wife. But white men burned our homes and killed many of our women and children. One such woman was who Tecumseh wanted to take as his wife. He never forgave himself for not protecting her.”

“It was not his fault the white men raided, was it?”

“No, but he was away, talking with other tribes about uniting against white men when it happened. Had he been there, she may have lived.”

“He couldn’t have known.”

“He could not.”

“So why does he beat himself up over it?”

“I am not familiar with these words,” Lalewithaka admitted.

“Let me try saying it differently. Why does he dwell on it being his fault if it was not his fault.”

“Because he loved her. The heart loves many things. Earth, water, air, animals of the ground and air, but rarely does the heart love another with such intensity that every piece of them aches in the absence of the other. So he ached for her.”

I sat staring at the fire realizing he loved deeply. Perhaps not Mamate, but definitely this first love. Whoever she was, in that moment, I prayed for her spirit. The night gathered and Tecumseh had not returned. I worried silently that something may have happened, but then I remembered that he died in battle nearly twenty years from that moment. I had no fear he would return.

Suddenly, from behind the trees, Tecumseh appeared. “Douse the fire!” He commanded quietly. Lalewithaka kicked dirt on it. Tecumseh approached me. “Do not make a noise.” And he lifted me from my seated position. He walked off to a different stand of trees that concealed a rock face by the creek. Lalewithaka followed him. They moved so silently that even being right there with them, I could barely hear their movements.

Once behind the rock face, below the trees, Tecumseh lowered me to my feet. I remained quiet and listened. I heard nothing at first. Then, as the dark pressed down harder on us, I could hear it. Men, talking, in English.

“I could have sworn I saw them come this way.”

“It’s getting dark. Without seeing them, there is no way of tracking them for now. We’ll come back in the morning and see if we can track them from there.”

We heard them ride off back the way we’d come. We stood for a while longer in silence before Tecumseh told Lalewithaka and I to stay where we were. He quietly disappeared and returned.

“They are gone.” Tecumseh reported.

“Why did you let them live?” Lalewithaka asked.

“They caught me while I was hunting. I did not have time to retrieve my arrows from my kills and I did not want to fire on them to signal more to come. I grabbed my kills and tried to lose them so I could protect you and her.” He looked me over with disdain. “The horses are just down this way. I moved them before I moved you.”

Staying in the creek at the edge, we walked down a way to the horses. Tecumseh mounted his horse, Lalewithaka helped me up in front of Tecumseh and then mounted his horse. Tecumseh had me lean as close to the horse as possible and we moved slowly making sure there was no one around. When it was apparent no one was there, we returned to our camp where Lalewithaka quickly gathered our supplies and we were off once again. 

We rode most of the night under starry skies. I dozed here and there only to be awoken when my weight would shift and I was in danger of falling off the horse. I had no idea what time of the night it was, but we stopped again. Lalewithaka put down the furs and helped me down from the horse. I laid down on top of my furs and fell asleep quickly.

When I woke in the morning, Tecumseh was huddled right up next to me. Lalewithaka was nowhere to be seen. I heard a noise rustling in the trees off to my right. I was about to wake Tecumseh when Lalewithaka walked out of the cover of the bushes. He tossed me a hunk of bread and some salted meat. I ate quickly feeling famished. 

Tecumseh began to stir. Before long he was awake and eating quickly himself. He rose and disappeared into the woods. I realized then that my bladder was much too full and I wandered into the woods myself to find a place to relieve myself. Having been raised by parents who preferred the city life to the country life, I had very little experience using the bathroom in nature. But when it is your only option and you have to go, you find a way and quickly. The fort had latrines and a guard on me at all times. Out in the wild, I was exposed, all the time. I learned to look all around and to make sure I had everything I needed to handle my business quickly.

I returned from relieving myself before Tecumseh did. Lalewithaka already had the horses ready to go. Tecumseh appeared and we set off again without more than a word or two. We rode all morning stopping just before noon to water the horses. I climbed down from the horse and looked around. There was more country than anything else. I thought I saw smoke off in the distance, but couldn’t be sure.

Tecumseh and Lalewithaka were talking to each other quietly and I went to the edge of the water. I knelt down and splashed water in my face and drank long. The water was clear and cool and running quickly through this area. More bread and salted meat was lunch. Lalewithaka started to unpack the horse.

“Aren’t we continuing on?” I asked.

“Tecumseh is going to ride ahead and talk to this next tribe. If they will welcome us, we will ride to them tomorrow. But he wants to warn them that we are with him before we get there.”

Tecumseh rode out alone that afternoon, leaving behind his bow and his rifle, taking only his what he was wearing and his knife. Lalewithaka spent the afternoon skinning and carving up the carcasses of the animals that Tecumseh had killed. He showed me the process of preparing the hides for use. It was mostly rabbit, but there was also mink. He showed me how they sewed hides together to make clothes using the sinew of animals. It was all very fascinating.

I tried to think back on how many nights and days I had been in 1795 and I was beginning to lose count. I knew I could return home anytime I wanted, but I wasn’t sure if I’d make it back to 1795 to help Lalewithaka and Tecumseh, so I wanted to stay as long as I could. For once in my life, I was living an adventure, making an impact, being something more than just Julia, the girl who got raped behind a dumpster. That person was falling farther and farther behind me and I was becoming the White Mare.

Night fell and Tecumseh returned. The tribe did not want to talk to us. Their people had nearly been wiped out by white man, so they were preparing to concede to try and preserve the people they had remaining. Lalewithaka didn’t take the news well and wandered off into the woods. I sat eating some bread by the fire while Tecumseh worked on making arrowheads. It had been a while and Lalewithaka was not back.

“Shouldn’t we go looking for him?”

“No, he knows where he is and he will return when he is ready. You should sleep.”

I did as I was told and laid down to fall asleep. I hadn’t been asleep long when a commotion woke me. I rose to find Tecumseh running towards Lalewithaka. Lalewithaka appeared to have blood running down his face. I could hear Tecumseh yelling at him in their language, but I could not tell what he was saying.

As they got back to the fire, I could see that Lalewithaka had a large gash on his forehead. Tecumseh could see it too and looked frantic. He threw Lalewithaka on the back of his horse.

“Stay here and do not let the fire burn out.” He mounted his horse and took off at a gallop.

I sat tending the fire all night and as dawn approached, I could feel sleep tugging at me. I didn’t want to sleep, but I couldn’t help it. I fell over on my side into a deep sleep. I couldn’t have been asleep long when I woke in agony. I looked around wildly. I noticed the fire had gone out, but more troublesome was a wolf with its mouth around my ankle, snarling angrily.

I screamed. I had no training for this. I did not know what to do. I had no weapons because I told Lalewithaka and Tecumseh I didn’t need them. I grabbed the closest hard object I could find, a rock, and began bashing the wolf’s head with it. I managed to get my ankle free and bashed the wolf once more as hard as I could knocking it unconscious. I pulled my ankle to my body and sobbed as the blood soaked the bottom of my pants.

As I sat sobbing, knees to chest, I heard a movement and then the wolf shuddered violent and I noticed a pool of blood forming beneath it. Before I knew what was happening, I was gathered up into his arms and he was walking towards his horse. Tecumseh had come back. He put me up on the horse and told me to hold on while he returned for the wolf. He tied it to the back of the horse and climbed up. He rode fast to the tribe over the hill. As he entered the village, he called out to the people in their tongue. I don’t know what he said, but I’m sure it had something to do with calling for help. We arrived at a dwelling and he got down and pulled me down into his arms.

Inside the hut Lalewithaka was sitting up, eating and there were men around. Tecumseh sat me down next to the fire and a woman came into the tent. She came over to me and began cleaning the wound at my ankle. For the briefest of moments, I wondered how the hospital would explain this one away. The woman finished her work quickly. There was pain and blood, but more than anything, exhaustion. I felt woozy and before I could squeak out any sound at all, I fell over. Darkness took me and the voices of family and friends came to me again. They got louder and louder until I realized, 1795 was falling away and the smell of hospital chemical cleaners assaulted my nostrils. Apparently, my body decided it was done with native life. And I began to wake, in the hospital, back in 2019.


	3. Got to Get Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia returns to 2019 and to more questions and struggle than when she had left. Afraid to be labeled "mental," Julia keeps her dealings in the past to herself while specialists run test, medicate, and guess what is causing her to slip in and out of consciousness. Meanwhile, the two people who love her the most can't seem to find common ground in caring for a Julia who is no longer herself. Through it all, Julia wants nothing more than to get back to the 1700's to experience life with Tecumseh and Lalewithaka.

Internally, I was screaming “no.” I wasn’t ready to go back to my life in 2019. The Treaty of Greenville was just a couple of months from being signed. I wanted to be there. I wanted to see with my own eyes. I couldn’t be back in 2019.

“It’s okay Julia. Don’t struggle too much. You are safe. Just breathe slowly.”

I took a few slow breaths in and out. It wasn’t helping much, but I was feeling very groggy.

“You were sedated. You started having seizures and thrashing. They’ve had you restrained for a bit here to keep you from seizing yourself into more brain damage.”

That’s when I noticed I was cuffed. Arms, legs, chest, head. I couldn’t move. My ankle was in excruciating pain. I pulled a little on my arm. 

“Julia, don’t. You are okay. I’ve been here the whole time. They’ll take the restraints off once you are conscious and out of the woods.”

I realized in that moment that it was Laura. I opened my eyes finally resigning myself to the present. She smiled at me.

“There you are. You gave us quite the fright.”

I tried to speak, but realized I couldn’t, there was a tube down my throat. My eyes went wide.

“It’s okay, your breathing was erratic and your brain was having problems keeping up with your body, so they put you on a ventilator, just to ease the strain on your system. That’ll come out later today or tomorrow.”

I looked around feeling crazy out of it. Laura called the nurse from my bed and there was someone in the room immediately. They took the restraints off, but the breathing tube stayed in. Laura wheeled a tray over with a pad of paper and a pencil. 

“We can pass each other notes,” she winked. “Just until the breathing tube comes out.”

I grabbed the pencil and wrote, “My ankle hurts.”

“Yes, the restraints were a little too tight and it cut you a little bit. They’ve been treating it. It should be okay.”

Disbelief. Always an explanation for something. I knew I was bitten by a wolf. I felt it, I knew it was happening. I’m sure if I could look at it, there would be teeth marks. I wrote, “It feels worse than just cuts, is something broken?”

“They x-rayed it. There are no visible fractures.” 

I wrote, “Can they check it again? It doesn’t feel right.”

“Julia, it’s fine. You should be more worried about your brain.” Laura pulled a chair closer and sat down next to me. “I’ve got to call Mom real quick. Her and Dad went back home two days ago.”

While Laura dialed and talked to Mom, I wrote out on the pad of paper, “How long have I been out?” When Laura hung up, I began tapping the paper with the pencil.

“You’ve been out for about a week. You’d gone to bed at home and we heard you violently thrashing in the night. Woke all of us up. We called 911 and they brought you back. You’ve been in the ICU under observation. Your brain was doing some really crazy stuff, so they wanted to keep you sedated and near doctors should something happen.”

Scribbling, “Something happen????”

“Yeah, they were afraid your brain was going to start bleeding again. It didn’t, but it was being really weird and your vitals were crazy. They stabilized you and have been slowly backing off the sedation.”

The darn breathing tube was driving me crazy. I wanted to talk, but I was stuck writing it all down.

“Why did Mom and Dad leave?” I asked.

“Oh Julia, you missed it. The night you had your seizures, we were fighting. They wanted to take you back home. I told them it was lucky they hadn’t taken you home or you may have died. They didn’t take kindly to that and once you were stable, the doctors told them you just had a setback and would come through just fine. I promised not to leave your side and that I would make sure you were well taken care of. Mom was out of vacation time and Dad was, well, you know how dad is,” she paused to chuckle. “I told them to go home and that if anything changed and it wasn’t looking good, I’d call them a.s.a.p. That was enough to get them out of here.”

I smiled a little. Laura knew me so well. I was not the one to have people constantly falling over themselves to take care of me.

“Evan stops by every evening. It’s usually long enough that I can grab dinner, a shower, and a clothes change.”

I picked up the pencil again, “What about school?”

“I’ve been emailing with my professors and keeping up with my classes as best I can. So far, everyone has been helpful and understanding as to why I’m not in class. The school assured me that they would do whatever they could to make sure we were both taken care of.”

The pencil scratched across the paper, “The school?”

“After you were attacked by a student, just off campus, they are doing everything in their power to make sure that we don’t sue them. OH!” She exclaimed, “I wanted to tell you, the guy who attacked you, never got bail or anything, he’s going to be locked up for the rest of his life. It’s not official or anything just yet, but the fact that he confessed and you’ve been in and out of consciousness for a long time, the prosecutor assured Mom and Dad that he’d be lucky to ever get parole.”

Thinking about being attacked and all that transpired after, it was once again too much to bear and a single tear rolled down my cheek. Laura rose from her chair and hugged me.

“I’m sorry, Julia. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just thought you’d want to know that he’s not still out there.” 

I nodded. I grabbed my pencil again. “So Evan is here every night?”

“He hasn’t missed a night since you were attacked. He feels so bad. He keeps saying he should have been there to walk you home.”

Writing as quickly as possible, “Not his fault.”

“I know that. You know that. Everyone knows that, except for him. He’s torn up over it, Julia. He really likes you. I think he might actually love you.”

“I really like him too,” I wrote. “Is he okay otherwise?”

“Yeah, he’s taking less shifts at the store, but he’s still getting to his classes and coming around to see you. He and Curtis are becoming pretty good buddies.” My brain was fuzzy, but I hadn’t even thought of Curtis. That was Laura’s boyfriend. With her being by my side, he probably was missing her at home.

“How is Curtis?” I scribbled.

“Worried about you and scarce at the same time. It also came out while I was fighting with Mom and Dad that he was living with us. Needless to say, Mom and Dad were pretty not happy that night, but then you had your ordeal and we all sort of just dropped it. I’m sure we’ll have to deal with it in the future, but that’ll be okay. He’s been staying with buddies. He says the house doesn’t feel right without us there.”  
I nodded again. Picking up the pencil again, I wrote, “When can this tube come out?”

“As long as you are stable, maybe later today. You should rest. I’m sure the doctor will need to come by and check on you. She’ll want to see you are awake and responsive. Rest for a little while. I’ve got a paper to write.”

I had permission to try again. I closed my eyes as tight as I could. I thought firmly on 1795 and Tecumseh, but as I dozed off, I lost sight of my goal and just found darkness.

When I woke, I was praying to be back in the hut with Tecumseh and Lalewithaka, but I was still in the hospital bed with a tube down my throat. It was dark outside and Laura was gone. I looked around and then I saw Evan. He looked up at me and our eyes met. I could see he had tears welling up in his eyes.

“Hey you,” he said with a smile.

I smiled and pointed for the tray. He rolled it over and I picked up the pencil. “Hi,” I wrote.

He smiled at me. “How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Like I’ve been hit by a bus.” I wrote.

“I can imagine. Listen, Julia, can we talk?” I nodded, so he continued. “Watching you go through this, I realized I would hate myself for all of time if I ever let you hurt like this again.” I went to grab the pencil, but he grabbed my hands. “Let me finish,” he said and I nodded. “I should have been there to walk you home. I should have been here every minute of every day to keep you safe and to watch over you and to be who you need me to be. And I refuse to spend another day not doing everything in my power to make it up to you and to prove to you that I am everything you need. I love you.” The tears were forming again. I pulled my writing hand free.

“I love you, too.” I wrote it, but I wasn’t sure if I really felt it. My heart was being pulled. Evan was a safe future. But my heart was in the past, with Tecumseh and Lalewithaka. Would I always try to get back to them? Would I ever be able to get back to them? If not, do I just forego living my life? Rationally, I had to live as if there was no chance I’d ever be able to get back to them. And Evan was incredibly sweet. I could do a lot worse than Evan Hollinger.

“I’m going to stay right here by your side tonight.” 

I wrote, “What about school?”

He smiled. “It’s Friday night. And you are my hot date!”

He was filling me in on what I had missed when a couple nurses came in to remove the breathing tube. It was an unpleasant sensation to feel the tube coming up out of my throat, but once it was gone, it felt so good to breathe on my own. The nurses quick cleaned up and made sure I was okay and then left the room.

“Is that better?” Evan asked.

My throat was raw, but I was ready to start talking again, “Yes,” I croaked.

He smiled. “How about I keep it short and simple? Wouldn’t want you to agitate that throat anymore than it already is.”

We chatted for several hours about school, friends, family, and news. He turned on the TV and we watched a couple hours of shows we both enjoyed. I dozed off and on. At some point, Evan fell asleep and I was alone with my thoughts.

I had no idea how the time travel worked. I knew that it had to do with me sleeping. I knew that what happened to me there would affect my body here, but it didn’t appear that my body left. I couldn’t for the life of me explain it. And I didn’t know how to guarantee where I would end up. When I was younger, it would take me back to play time or just a happy memory. Now it was taking me to times I hadn’t existed within. 

Alone and curious, I closed my eyes. I thought long and hard on returning to Tecumseh and Lalewithaka. Nothing happened. I felt tired, but couldn’t quite get back. Was I dreaming? I couldn’t have been dreaming. What would happen if I didn’t go back? It had to be a dream, right? I fell asleep doubting everything I experienced.

When I woke in the morning, Evan was sitting next to the bed on his phone. Laura was across the room on her laptop. I cleared my throat. Both of them looked up and smiled at me. It wasn’t a hut in the 1700’s and my companions were definitely not natives. There was a certain amount of disappointment evident on my face.

Laura spoke first, “Waking up on the wrong side of the bed?”

I rolled my eyes and thought, “More like the wrong side of history.”

Evan quipped back, “Oh boy, that looked like a yes.”

Both of them rose and pulled chairs next to the bed. “What’s up?” Laura asked.

I couldn’t find the words to explain my disappointment with waking up in a hospital bed instead of a hut, somewhere in the country side of the Midwest, surrounded by Native people. I settled for a shake of the head.  
“Are you in pain?” Evan asked.

Clearing my throat, I responded. “No, I’m just not completely here.” It would have to suffice as an answer for the moment.

Laura looked at Evan, “It’s probably the meds. She’s on a lot right now.”

“I’m on a lot of meds? Like how much?”

Laura rose and looked at the various bags attached to the IV stand by the bed. She started counting and looked a lot of them over suspiciously.

“Currently, about six. You’ve got a sedative, a narcotic, an anti-anxiety, an anti-depressive, a sleep aid, and an antibiotic. They aren’t sure what’s going on with you so they are trying to cover all the bases.”

“They keep calling your parents for test approval and then we never hear the results of the tests.” Evan explained.

“Tests? What sort of tests? I asked.

“They have done CT scans, blood work, MRIs, ultrasounds, and every other kind of test you can think of. The doctor hasn’t come in to do rounds this morning. Perhaps you could ask him what they are finding.” Laura suggested.

I nodded and grabbed their hands. “Thank you for being here with me. I’m lucky to have people who love me so much as to stay with me.” They smiled and sat down in the chairs. We chatted for a little until the doctor came in for his morning checkup of my recovery.

“Good morning, Julia! I’m Doctor Wayne. It’s good to see you awake and alert. How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright, a little foggy, but alright.”

“It looks like you are bouncing back quite nicely. We have a few more rounds of testing that we set up for today, if you are up to it.”

“I wanted to ask you about that. What have your previous tests found?” In the back of my mind, I was thinking tumors. My vivid “dreams” had to be a tumor that was suddenly growing or moving or changing somehow. I’d probably had it since childhood and the trauma from my attack must have caused it to change somehow. I couldn’t really be time travelling. I was beginning to believe that perhaps I was mental.

“Everything looks good. All of your bloodwork is normal. The images of your brain and heart all look great. Digestion is good. You’re a bit of an anomaly with the seizures and random comas, but that doesn’t mean we won’t figure it out.”

“What sort of tests are on the docket for today?” I asked.

“More of the same, but because you are awake and alert, we want to see how all of your tests come back when you are ‘normal.’”

“Pft, not normal. Look at all the meds she’s on!” Laura interjected.

The doctor flipped through the chart. “What meds was she on with the last seizure?”

Laura started listing them off like she’d said them a million times over. The doctor reviewed the chart and made notes.

“Every single one of those meds is on the list of what she’s taking, only at a higher dosage. The meds that she was sent home with were probably all generics, but they are still the same core medicine.” Dr. Wayne explained. “We are trying to decide if the meds are causing it, her brain or body is causing it, or if it’s a result of a mental condition stemming from the initial trauma.”

Laura seemed satisfied with the explanation, but didn’t want to leave well enough alone.

“Where is Dr. Botswine? And what is the purpose of keeping her on the same meds if the goal is to keep her from having more seizures or comas?”

“Dr. Botswine called me in to take over the case. I’m not normally affiliated with this hospital, but I was granted special permissions for a special case. My practice has been researching traumatic brain injuries for some time now and Dr. Botswine decided that your sister’s care was better left with me.’

‘As far as her meds go, we don’t want to trigger another attack, but if we can make it happen while she’s under observation, we may be able to pinpoint it and work on finding the triggers. Granted we don’t want to cause her more distress than she’s already endured, but we need to get to the bottom of what’s causing it so that we can work on finding solutions for her.”

Before Laura could say another word, I jumped in, “Thank you, Dr. Wayne. I’m more than happy to undergo more testing.” What could it hurt? Perhaps if I was traumatized or mental, it would get answers for my family and maybe give me the key to getting back to Tecumseh and Lalewithaka.

Dr. Wayne signed a page or two and replaced my chart. “I’ll be back later tonight to update you on our findings. Someone will be in to transport you soon.”   
Once again, alone in the room, Evan looked at Laura and then at me. “I’m hungry. I’m going to head down to the cafeteria for some breakfast. Do you need anything before I go?” 

“I’m good. Go eat.” I said. Laura shook her head. Evan bent over and kissed my forehead, gave my hand a light squeeze, then grabbed his wallet and left.

Once Evan left the room, Laura moved in closer. “So what’s going on with you and Evan? Seems pretty serious.”

I could feel my cheeks turning pink. “I don’t know. We just kind of go with the flow. We both love the same things. And he’s been a rock through it all. I just don’t know where we are going. Last night he said he didn’t want to leave my side ever again.”

Laura’s eyebrows shot up, “That sounds very serious.”

I rolled my eyes. “It doesn’t sound serious. It sounds like guilt. He feels bad that all of this is happening to me. When in reality, what’s happened is no one’s fault except for the guy who attacked me. I’ve never been the kind of person that relies on others for help. And I think this has made Evan see me differently. I don’t want him to be with me if it’s because he feels responsible for me now.”

Laura shook her head. “I don’t think that’s what it is. I think he wants to take away what happened to you and he can’t, so he wants to spend the rest of his life trying to make and keep you happy.”

I sat thinking for a minute. “Laura, I know I’m young, but the more years I put behind me, the more I realize there is no way to make someone happy or keep them happy. Life is cruel and unkind. Bad things happen to good people. I don’t think Evan has any hope of being able to make me happy, let alone keep me happy.”

I could see tears welling up in Laura’s eyes. I looked at her and she bowed her head. She slowly shook her head again and I couldn’t quite read what she’s feeling.

“What? What is it?” I asked.

“You used to be so optimistic. The world was yours for the taking. And now, it’s like that monster stole the parts of you that were what makes you shine! Ever since he did what he did, you push people away and you have a dark cloud hanging over you.”

“It’s not a dark cloud. And I’m not pushing anyone away. I can’t be the poor little girl who got raped behind a dumpster!” Tears began to spring to my eyes. I didn’t recall any of it. Not even the pain. But knowing that’s what everyone was thinking made it worse. Evan’s love seemed to spring from guilt. Laura felt like it was making me darker. Mom and Dad couldn’t deal with it anymore and were trying to be involved from afar. Friends, family, teachers, everyone knew what I was going through. Everyone felt sorry for me. I just wanted to be back with Tecumseh so that I didn’t feel like a victim anymore. I squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as I could. I wished on every possible star that I would be back in that hut. And yet, there was no falling into sleep. There was no waking up in the late 1700’s. I was still the girl, in 2019, who was raped amid garbage, after walking home alone after a college class.

“Julia, you are not the poor girl who got raped behind a dumpster. You are my sister. I love you. I just want you to be healthy and happy again as soon as possible. But you’ve got to do that at your own speed. Whatever it takes, I’m staying by your side. No matter what.” Laura grabbed my hand and squeezed it hard.

I smiled and laid my head back against the pillows as the tears flowed down my cheeks. I couldn’t tell anyone what I had been through because it would just make them believe that I mentally detached myself from my trauma. The rape wasn’t the source of all my suffering. It was just the trigger for it.

As the tears left their wet tendrils down my cheeks, I began to mourn the fact that I had left Tecumseh and Lalewithaka. The tears came unbidden, hot and fierce, as I imagined all I would miss by remaining where I was. Perhaps I wanted to go back so that I could cope with what I was enduring, but more than anything, I wanted to live in it and watch it unfold. I didn’t want there to be questions unanswered. I wanted to know what happened to the brothers, from the inside, and the downfall of their people. And I was going to miss out on all of it. These were things I had always wanted to be a part of, to experience and see with my own eyes. History books were so one sided, but to be in the midst of it and to live within it would be far more educational than ever reading a book could hope to be.

The tears slowly diminished and Laura and I sat in silence for a while. Evan came back some time later and could tell something was going on just by the tension in the room.

“What did I miss?” He asked cautiously.

I couldn’t find the words, so Laura spoke first. “Just sister talk. With a little bit of arguing.” She tried to smile, but it wasn’t genuine at all.

Evan didn’t look pleased. “Why is it every time I turn my back, someone is making her cry or hurting her?”

“Whoa, Evan, easy there killer. She needs to talk about what happened to her and start dealing with it.” Laura responded.

“She doesn’t ‘need’ to do anything she doesn’t want to do. And you are hardly the person to help her deal with what she’s been through.” Evan retorted.  
“You think a therapist is going to help her without making her cry? She’s been raped, Evan. There are going to be some tears when dealing with that.” Laura rebutted.

“All I’m saying is leave it to the professionals.” Evan said crossing the room and taking my hand. I felt like I was watching a tennis match and I was the net that they kept lobbing a ball of words across.

“If you haven’t noticed, the professionals aren’t exactly being helpful at the moment.” Love - love.

“They’ll figure it out. You have to give them time to recommend a course of treatment for her.” 15 - Love.

“And in the meantime, she’s dealing with everything that has happened, on her own, inside of her head.” 15 all.

“You aren’t a professional yet, Laura. When you are, maybe you can give a ‘professional’ opinion, but for now, be her sister.” 30 - 15.

“I’ve taken care of her for years now. I will be there even when you aren’t.” 30 - 30.

“Listen, I know I wasn’t there for her when she needed it most, but at least I wasn’t sleezing it up with some dude while my sister was dying behind a dumpster 20 yards from my doorstep.” Game set and match. It was time to step in.

“Okay, both of you, we are NOT playing the blame game. I should have known better than to walk home from class alone. Truth be told, I had a feeling I was being followed. If you all want to be angry or place blame, how about you blame the guy who did this to me or on me for ignoring my gut instinct.”

Laura and Evan both looked at me and then each other. “I’m sorry,” Laura said first.

“I’m sorry, too. I just feel so bad for Julia that I’m letting my frustration get the better of me and I took it out on you.” Evan admitted.

“Thank you. Can we please just let it go? And for the love of all things holy, can you stop talking about me like I’m not here.” I added.

Nodding, Laura and Evan both took seats next to me. And we settled into an uneasy quiet of messing on our phones and watching TV. A nurse came in to prep me for my testing. After several hours of various imaging machines and bloodwork, I was back in the room in time for some dinner. It was the first food I had been offered in a while. It was soft food, but it still tasted really good. After dinner, we watched TV until Laura got up to shower and change clothes.

Evan sat holding my hand. I drifted off to sleep. A while later, I became conscious of Evan and Laura talking. But it wasn’t friendly. At the edges of sleep, I could hear them quietly tearing each other apart over me. I didn’t want to hear it or be there to listen to them be so cruel to each other again. I closed my eyes tighter. I started to hear bells going off and Laura and Evan began shaking me. I could hear the sounds of distant chanting. I was close to going back. I had to choose. Did I want to go back to the fighting and the knowledge that I had experienced something traumatic? Or did I want to get back to Tecumseh and Lalewithaka? I closed my eyes tighter still and gave in to the distant chanting. If nothing else, I needed the escape from the present. 

The sounds of bells, Laura, and Evan fell away and I became awash in the raised voices, words spoken that I didn’t know, and drums. I could smell smoke and dogs. I felt the heat of heavy blankets on top of me. As I slowly regained consciousness, I allowed my eyes to blink open. I was looking up and saw the hazy ceiling of a hut. I was back and all the happier for it.


	4. Stirring and Stirring Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally returning to 1795, Julia finds herself in situations that have long lasting ramifications. Tecumseh and Lalewithaka continue their campaign against the white man to varying success. Northward travels brings them through the beauty of the midwest. Everything that Julia has endured causes her soul to be unsettled. It is as if both 2019 and 1795 have their benefits and drawbacks and her soul is torn trying to decide where she belongs at any given moment.

“You wake.” Said the voice of a male native nearby. It was followed quickly by his native tongue and made no match, to words I knew, in my head.

I slowly turned my head to see Lalewithaka sitting next to me. He nodded to me and drank from a wooden cup. I realized there was a commotion at the door and turned my head to see a bewildered Tecumseh, eyes blazing, looking directly at me. All eyes were on him. And his were on me. He strode quickly to me and Lalewithaka.

“You were dying.” Tecumseh said with an air of disbelief about him.

“And now she is not.” Quipped Lalewithaka.

“What did you do?” Tecumseh asked of his brother.

“Nothing. She woke on her own.” Lalewithaka replied.

Tecumseh sat heavily on the ground. Looking at me as if I were a ghost. I smiled at him. He blinked, unmoving, possibly shocked at the vision before him. After a while, he turned to Lalewithaka and spoke to him in their native language. I didn’t understand at all what was said, but it was obvious it was an intense conversation as slowly those gathered around began to leave. The brothers spoke quietly, not arguing, just deep in conversation. What appeared to be awe turned into frustration and Tecumseh took another glance at me and rose from his spot, making a very hasty exit.

I cleared my throat and asked, “What was that all about?”

“He is of the mind that you should have died. All signs pointed that you were fading. He claims I healed you somehow.”

“Did you?” I asked.

“I called on the Great Spirit to return you should you be unfinished in the work set before you. That was days ago. And now, you have come back. I cannot explain it.”

“He seems upset.”

“Tecumseh does not want to believe that you are who I say you are. We have waited long for you and now you have come. My visions are coming true. And my brother does not understand.”

“What visions? What doesn’t he understand?” I asked.

“Before you came, years before you came, I had my first visions. I told you about the one, but I did not tell you the others. And there have been many. The second one was precisely what just happened. I saw a great, wise bird. The bird was struck from the sky. The bird landed on its head and became lame. Next to the bird was a white mare. The white mare guarded fire. The fire leapt into the sky and the mare was bitten on the leg by a wolf. The white mare died, but rose again. When she rose, she restored the wise bird. And the bird soared above the white mare for the rest of its days.”

I could see how he thought he was the bird and I was the white mare. That reminded me, he had also been hurt.

“What happened to your head?” I asked.

Instinctively, Lalewithaka touched his head and revealed a scabbed wound near his temple, covered by his long, dark hair. “I do not know how I was struck. I felt the wound and fell into sleep. When I woke, my head hurt and I knew I was bleeding, so I walked back to camp. I believe the Great Spirit struck me.”

I wasn’t sure I believe that, but because he didn’t see his attacker, there was no way to disprove it. I sat thinking for a while. I went to sit up and immediately Lalewithaka was by my side, helping me to sit up. He called a name and another person entered the hut. I was brought water and bread. Both of which I devoured as if I hadn’t eaten in weeks. The hut cleared out again and things calmed down. We sat in silence for a while when we both perked up at the sight of Tecumseh.

“It’s time to leave.” Tecumseh said as he began gathering items from the hut.

“That is not wise. She is not well enough to ride.” Lalewithaka objected.

“I can ride. I just need help up.” I added.

Tecumseh put down the supplies he had collected and walked to my side and lifted me up in his arms. I stared at the lines of his face and the dark stubble on his jawline that begged my fingers to explore. I subdued my impulses as he placed my feet on the ground, keeping one arm wrapped around my waist, and watching my legs to make sure they would hold me up. He began to slowly pull his arm away from my side and I could feel the weakness in my arms and legs. I began to stumble at which time he placed his arm firmly back in place to hold me.

“See, she is not well enough.” Lalewithaka rebutted.

Tecumseh placed an arm under my legs and moved me to sit on top of a cloth covered pile of logs. He set me down gently and removed his arms to see if I could sit on my own. I had no problem sitting.

“If she can sit, she can ride. I will collect our things and we will leave immediately.” Tecumseh gathered a few items and left the hut without another word. Lalewithaka followed him out leaving me alone in the hut. After a while, they both returned and were packing up our essentials. They left again and a woman came into the hut. She walked over to me with a bag. She was a white woman.

“I don’t know who you are or why you are with them, but as long as you are with them, you are not safe. I have gathered a few items to help you. Mostly food and clothing. But there is also a knife. It may help.” She smiled and turned to leave.

“Wait,” I called, but she kept walking. Who was she? Where did she come from? Why was she here?

Tecumseh entered the hut a while later. He looked directly at the bag and paid it no more attention. He strode to my side and lifted me from my seated position. He carried me out. There were no people gathered around and Lalewithaka was already on his horse. The brothers’ horses were loaded down with our essentials and Tecumseh lifted me to pull myself onto his horse. I settled myself on his horse and he climbed on behind me.

“Why am I riding with you?” I asked.

“Because your horse is staying with this tribe.” Tecumseh responded.

“Why?” I realized the wolf was not tied down on the back of his horse. “What happened to the wolf?”

“We traded it for the use of shelter and food.” Tecumseh responded. “We traded the horse for that, as well.”

Silence settled heavy over us as we left the village. No one came to watch us leave. It was as if we were invisible. We were headed northeast as the sun was just beginning to set behind as we made our way out of sight of the village. We crossed a small stream and then both Tecumseh and Lalewithaka pushed their horses to a gallop. We rode hard for a while until the last rays of sunlight bowed to the twinkling of the stars. There were fires up ahead and we continued to gallop towards it. As we were arriving, Tecumseh draped a pelt over me. 

“Whatever happens, do not talk and do not show them your hands.”

“What? Why?” I asked. Tecumseh responded by placing a sharp object to my back.

“Do. Not. Speak. Do not show your hands. Trust me.” Tecumseh said again.

Not wanting to be stabbed in the back, I put my head down, kept my hands down between my thighs and said nothing. Lalewithaka and Tecumseh spoke and I heard plenty of noises that I would say sounded like cheering. Keeping my head down, ever present to the fact that the sharp object was still in my back, I did not look around. Finally, the horses came to a halt. Lalewithaka got off of his horse and Tecumseh followed. They did not help me down, so I did not move. I was aware they were no longer near the horses when a native man I did not recognize stood next to the horse with a knife drawn. 

A short while later, Tecumseh came back and led both of the horses farther away from the camp. There was one shelter, far off on its own. He helped me down and pushed me towards the entrance of the shelter. The horses were left to wander and he followed behind me, pushing me forward. Inside the shelter, there was no light. 

“Sit.” He commanded.

I sat. He began the work of starting a fire in the middle. As the first sparks sprang to life, I could see his face. A slight twitch at the corner of his mouth led me to believe there was some joke I was not a part of.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“We are among the pretenders.”

“The pretenders?” I pushed.

“Natives who believe that they are the plague that will wipe white man from our lands.” Tecumseh answered.

“Why do you call them the pretenders?”

“Because they talk. They do not do. We have called on them to fight with us against white man and they have not killed a single white man.”

“So if they haven’t killed white people, why did I have to be quiet and not show them my hands.”

“We told them you were our prisoner. It would have been unfortunate had they seen you were not. My brother would have been very upset had you been the first white they chose to kill.”

“So that’s the joke?”

“What is a joke? This is not familiar.”

I chuckled. “A joke is something that makes you laugh.” 

“Then yes, White Mare, this is a joke.” He chuckled quietly face turned down attending the building of the fire. It was his first unguarded moment in front of me. We were no longer adversaries, but comrades in a joke against the pretenders.

We sat silently for a time. It was quiet, save the rustle of the wind through the grass and trees. I could smell honeysuckle. I relaxed into a contented awareness of all the sounds and smells around me. I closed my eyes for just a second and when I opened them again, Lalewithaka was in the tent.

“We are safe here tonight.” He explained.

“What did they say?” Tecumseh asked.

“As always, they want to help us kill the white man. And they were pleased that we had captured a white woman that we planned to sacrifice to the Great Spirit for success in our war.” Lalewithaka answered.

My eyes widened and Tecumseh laughed. “It is a joke.” And I smiled realizing that once again, they had pulled the wool over the eyes of the pretenders. Lalewithaka looked at us as if we were mad, but I laughed in spite of his confusion. I was merely pleased that they did not intend to sacrifice me to their god.

Lalewithaka took a seat next to Tecumseh and they began to converse. I was blissfully unaware as to what was being said and decided to lay myself out next to the fire. I fell peacefully into sleep. Some time later, I awoke and the fire had gone out. Adjusting to the lack of light, I looked around and could not see either of the brothers.

Suddenly, behind me, I felt a hand pull me back into someone and another hand clasp tightly over my mouth. I was pinned against someone and was beginning to panic when the grasp shifted and I could see Tecumseh’s eyes staring at the entrance. His breath was quiet and hot against my neck. I could see the curls in my hair methodically moving with each exhalation. He whispered in my ear, “They are outside. Stay silent.”

I nodded and he released his hand. I saw a shadow across the shelter move and realized Lalewithaka was also moving. Tecumseh motioned for me to lay flat on my belly and I quietly lowered myself to the ground. I could hear nothing but the sound of my own heart beating in my ears. Lalewithaka moved over to me and leaned down.

Quietly, he whispered in my ear, “I am going to bind your hands and place a rag in your mouth. If they come in, you must look like what we have said you are.” I nodded and placed my hands behind my back and yielded my mouth to a rag. He was incredibly gentle with me. Once he was finished, I saw the knife in his hand. 

A dim light flashed and I could see the entrance opening to the outside. It happened again and I realized the shelter was filling with people. Tecumseh was next to Lalewithaka and with another flash, the sleeping fire before me sprang to life. Lalewithaka pulled me into him and placed his knife against my throat. His voice quiet in my ear.

“Do not move.” I didn’t dare.

Tecumseh began speaking in their native tongue and the men in front of me stood ready to pounce with knives in hand. As Tecumseh’s voice boomed, Lalewithaka quietly translated.

“The Great Spirit sent us the white mare to warn us. She is unspoiled and must remain so until she can be given back to the one who sent her. If you take her now, kill her, or spoil her, you will anger the Great Spirit. You will be cursed. You will also have to kill your brothers. You will call down many nations against you. Go back to your people and we will be gone by sunrise.” Lalewithaka concluded softly.

One by one, the men lowered their weapons and left the shelter. After the last man left, still holding me tightly, Lalewithaka reached down and loosened the ties on my hand. As I relinquished the control of my muscles, I slid down his body. It wasn’t until my legs hit the ground that I realized that Lalewithaka had not moved. Tecumseh went out the door while I took the rag from my mouth. As I sat on the ground, body shaking, I realized why Lalewithaka had not moved. Every inch of my spine had felt his arousal as I fell to the floor and it had taken my brain time to register that was what I was feeling.

I turned to look at Lalewithaka and as I turned, he briskly went past me, following Tecumseh out the door. Alone in the shelter, I sat confused trying to figure out what it was that had happened to cause his body to respond in such a manner. He had never shown any interest in me other than what I could teach him about things to come. He was friendly, but not overly friendly.

As confused as ever, I sat looking into the flame when Tecumseh came back. He looked around.

“Where is Lalewithaka?” He asked.

“He went out after you.” 

Tecumseh whirled on his feet and went back outside. I heard him whistling from the entrance and heard whistled responses in the distance. He came back into the shelter and sat down by the fire.

“Sit.” He gruffed.

I sat down and waited. Tecumseh said nothing and Lalewithaka did not return. Confused by everything going on, I finally decided to speak up.  
“Is he coming back?”

“Soon.” Tecumseh responded.

“What’s he doing?”

“Getting the horses. If we wish to rest, we need to move on and find another place to lay down. We know of a quiet place a little way from here that we can move to.”

It appeared that we were once again going to be on the move. Once the horses were retrieved, I walked slowly, with assistance from Tecumseh, to the horse. He helped me onto the horse and we were once again moving across the countryside.

It was a dazzling night. The skies were clear and it was a touch on the cold side. I had a pelt wrapped around my shoulders. It’s warm protection buffeted me against the chill that would distract me from seeing every pinpoint of light in the heavens. The milky way was on full display and every constellation I had ever known was clearly visible. There was no light pollution, just two horses, three riders, and the wilderness. As we ventured forward, there was no time to linger in the beauty of an open sky, no satellites, no airplanes, no houses or highways. We had to focus on making sure every step forward was well placed. We couldn’t afford to lose another horse.

Within an hour, we reached a stand of trees. There were no lights anywhere at all. No smoke, either. Tecumseh helped me off the horse and helped me get to a fallen tree to sit on while they set up camp. Within no time, they had the pelts and blankets laid out and Tecumseh took care to settle me first. I was so exhausted that as soon as I got under the blankets, I was asleep.

I don’t know how long I actually slept, but it had to have been for several hours. When I woke, the sun was almost to its zenith and Lalewithaka had left our secured little nook. Tecumseh looked up as soon as he realized I was awake. An odd mix of relief and joy crossed his face before he once again reverted to his stern look of disapproval. Once again, I smiled at him.

“Happy to see you, too!” I smirked.

Tecumseh quick turned his face, but I could see a smile playing at his lips.

“Where has your brother gone?” I asked.

“Hunting. Fishing. We will stay here again tonight and then continue north tomorrow.”

The day was becoming warm and I quickly shed my blankets and pelts. I looked around the campsite and saw the bag I was given by the white woman sitting next to Tecumseh. I glared at him.

“What are you doing with that?” I accused.

“Making sure you continue to behave. It is mostly clothes, but I found this.” He held up the knife. “You said you did not want weapons.”

I erased the glare from my face. And I replaced it with a look of resignation.

“Perhaps I thought wrong. I realized after the wolf that having a weapon to protect myself might not be such a bad idea.” I confessed.

Tecumseh rose and brought the bag to me while still holding onto the knife. He set the bag down next to me and instinctively, I pulled it close to me. He squatted down to eye level.

“Do not hide things from me. I will find them. Are you planning to hurt me or my brother with this?” He asked flashing the knife before my face. His stare intense.

“No. I wanted it to protect myself from anyone or anything that would try to hurt me.” I stared back.

Tecumseh didn’t move. He didn’t speak. He continued to stare into my eyes. The bronze of his skin was beginning to shimmer in the sunlight as his skin began to moisten with perspiration from the assault of an early summer day. His eyes were a calming brown that lulled me into a sense of trust and belief. The line of his nose and mouth were strong and pronounced. His hair grew long and he allowed it to flow freely. He had a single feather attached in his hair that shifted slightly with each subtle breeze. I could smell his scent from many days on the horse, in the sun.

I suddenly became aware of my own smell. I, myself smelled of many days on the horse in the sun, but also many days laying beneath blankets and pelts. I smelled musky and that was not a term I had ever prepared to call myself before that moment. However, I sat, transfixed by Tecumseh’s stare. It was as if he saw right through me, to my thoughts, to the very depths of my existence. In his eyes, I could see everything he wasn’t saying. Fear, but hope. This strong, capable, native man was afraid and I knew it.

There was a rustling in the leaves to my left and Tecumseh broke the trance. He pushed me to the ground, covered me with the blankets and then got lower. A whistle came then and one in answer. Lalewithaka was back. I rose, throwing off the warmth of the blankets to see Tecumseh rise. He tossed the knife in front of me. 

“Time for you to learn to use it.” He said wryly.

We spent the afternoon going over what Lalewithaka had brought back, skinning, dressing, and preparing it for consumption. Then, after we had eaten, Tecumseh decided to show me how to defend myself with the knife. I felt so much better after a good night’s sleep, followed by a full belly, that I took to training energetically. It was your run of the mill, stab here and there, slash like this, do this to kill, do that to maim. My father had never been one for brutality or teaching his daughter self defense, but there were plenty of pointers in television and movies and on the internet for such as those who went looking. In the midst of Tecumseh’s lesson, I realized it would have been wise to pay closer attention to those pointers and perhaps I wouldn’t have been raped at school.

Allowing my mind to wander, Tecumseh took me off guard and knocked me off my feet. I fell with a thud and lost my breath for a moment. Tears sprang to my eyes as I gasped and sucked just trying to get air enough to fill my lungs. Lalewithaka was by my side immediately and yelling at Tecumseh in their tongue. The tears were still springing forward as I was finally able to regain my breath. Feeling the tears roll, slowly, mockingly down my cheeks, my surprise turned to anger. I jumped quickly from the ground, pushed Lalewithaka to the side and lunged at Tecumseh.

I caught him by surprise and used all my force to knock him backward onto the ground. My knife was held overhand so that the blade stuck out from the end of my hand away from my pinky. I straddled him and drew my knife quickly to his neck as I glared down into his eyes. My knife hovered dangerously close to his pulsating skin indicating it was positioned near the carotid artery.

There was no shock or anger in his eyes. Instead, he used his body weight to force me up while pushing my hand away from his neck. However, I saw that the sudden motion up had caused the blade to touch his throat and a bright stream of red had begun to trickle down his neck as he rolled me over and pinned me down with his full weight resting on my pelvis and his hands holding down my hands. There was something akin to amusement gleaming in his eyes when Lalewithaka shouted at him.

Not wanting to be outdone, I kicked a leg up which threw him off balance. I pulled the other leg to my chest and pushed my foot into his chest. Holding my hands still, he fell backwards and I rolled up to a seat position. I pulled both legs free and pushed them both forward as hard as I could. One foot caught him straight between the legs and the other hit his inner thigh. He let go of my hands, screwed his eyes shut, furrowed his brow and rolled over, coughing and sputtering.

I rose, knife still in my hand and walked behind him. I lowered myself once again and placed my blade to the right of his neck, watching to make sure it resided near the pulsing carotid. I leaned over and whispered in his ear, “yield.”

Writhing on the ground, he nodded slightly and I rose and went back to my seat near the fire. Lalewithaka’s jaw hung open looking at me and then looking at Tecumseh. Finally realizing I was fine, he went to his brother’s side and helped him to sit up. They sat side by side talking for a moment. Tecumseh looked at me and smiled. Was I seeing things? Had he really smiled at me? I smiled back. Once Tecumseh was recovered, the brothers came and sat by the fire. I looked up at both of them and decided I was ready to settle into a life with them in 1795.

“Where can I wash myself?” I asked.

“Wash yourself?” Lalewithaka asked.

“Yes, I need clean water to clean my body.” I answered.

Tecumseh rolled his eyes. Lalewithaka smiled. “Follow me.” He said rising. I rose, grabbed the bag of gifted clothes, and followed him through the stand of trees to a large creek. 

“I will go back the way we came. When you are done, you know the way back.” He turned and left. 

I went down by the water and saw that there was no trash. It was pristine and clean and inviting. I took off a moccasin and dipped a toe into the water. It was chilly, but not freezing. I took off the other moccasin and sat down on a pelt, next to the creek and put my feet in the creek. I rubbed them getting off dead skin and lint and dirt. I looked around, seeing no one, I pulled off my pants and top and waded into the waist deep water. Slowly I submerged my whole body under the water.

The chill brought me quickly back to the surface. I was quick to wash off as much of my travels as possible, making do without any soap. As the cold seemed to reach my core, my teeth began to chatter and I ran to the banks of the creek. I emerged from the water and threw a blanket around me. The warm afternoon sun lent its aid in driving the chill away. I wrung out the excess water from my curly dark brown hair and began to quickly dress in clean, dry clothes from the bag.

Once dressed, I looked at the clothes I had been given. There were intricate designs made with beads throughout the top. The pants were plan and tied with a sash that was a very vibrant red color. I ran my fingers through my hair to detangle the mess of curls and then quickly put on my moccasins.

I took my dirty clothes to the bank of the creek and washed them as best I could. Once finished, I headed back towards the camp. I came upon the sheltered camp to find both Tecumseh and Lalewithaka laying back with their eyes closed. I found a low hanging branch and hung my wet clothes from the branch. I returned to my seat and dug through the bag to inventory what was left inside.

Mostly clothing, there were a few food items folded and tied amid the clothes. I carefully took them out and separated them from clothing. All the way towards the bottom, I found a floral scented bar of soap. It was unevenly shaped, but was very obviously soap. I was mentally kicking myself for not knowing of its existence before my natural bath when Tecumseh opened an eye and looked my way. He opened his other eye and stared at me with a look upon his face that resembled surprise. I smiled at him and returned to my inventory finding a few random strings tucked away in the bottom corner of the bag. I looked up at Tecumseh.

“What are these?” I asked.

“They are for tying your hair back.” He answered. Rising to his feet, he came over and took one of the strings and stepped behind me. He squatted down and gathered my hair into his hands. He tied my hair back and lingered there. Suddenly, Lalewithaka cleared his throat. Tecumseh quickly rose and walked back to his bed. I looked at Lalewithaka and he smiled at me. I smiled back. I began neatly folding and returning all the items back to the bag.

The air was suddenly filled with an odd mixture of aggression and playfulness. I pretended to not notice, but the brothers were stealing glances at each other between glances at me. Lalewithaka spoke first. I don’t know what he said, but it couldn’t have been good because Tecumseh rose suddenly and left the camp.

“What was that about?” I asked, feigning sudden intrigue.

“Sometimes he loses his way. I remind him the path he must take.”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“He knows the visions. He does not want to believe. I will often remind him that all of the spirits will move him as they need and he does not need to pursue his own way.”

“What visions?” I probed.

“There are many. The one that Tecumseh needs to be reminded of is that he has been chosen to fight the white man. Not befriend the white man.”

“Am I the white man in this vision?”

“No, you are the white mare. White man fights to destroy us and take our land. You come to show us how to defeat white man.”

“So he can befriend me.”

“You are the white mare. You have no friends except for the eagle.”

“Who is the eagle?”

“I am.” Lalewithaka said quickly.

“So I’m not allowed to have any friends except for you?”

“You will have many who will try to be your master. They will try to claim you and make you tame. But you are wild and free, just like the eagle. The eagle is your companion, watches out for you, and protects you from dangers unseen. But the eagle is not your friend and any person who tries to claim you or tame you is not your friend. Here, you have no friends.”

I understood very well what he was saying. I had no friends. I had no family. To them, I rose out of a field near Greenville, OH and became real because of the Great Spirit. They did not know or understand that I had been given a gift to travel through time. I wasn’t even sure myself of how such a gift, or a curse, had been bestowed upon me. But in 2019, I had both. I had family and I had friends. I wasn’t some mythical creature that rose out of a field. I was Julia Smith. I was born, raised, and emancipated. I was my own person with a history, not a long history, but still a history.

I felt my soul stirring. It longed to once again belong to someone. Lalewithaka made it clear that there was nothing for me in 1795, even though I knew better. Home was more hospitable. Home was where Laura, Mom, Dad, and even Evan were. But the history there was new. There was no epic story to live within and learn from, to take back with me to carry me through the drab days of modern society. My soul stirred there and it stirred here.

Stirring and stirring still, the restlessness that followed me regardless where in time I found myself kept me longing for that which I did not possess. Part of what pulled at me to return to 1795 was the history, being alive in the story I had studied for years of my life. But I began to realize that it was more than that. I had fallen for the story of these brothers and for the pull that they had on my life. I favored them as people over the people in my own life. There was a spark with them that I didn’t have in 2019. There was a spark with both of them that I didn’t have with Evan. And I was becoming increasingly aware that both brothers were starting to warm up to me and feel the same spark. My presence was stirring their own souls. 

I sat pondering this realization for a long time. The sun slid behind the trees and cast long shadows across the camp. Tecumseh returned, silent, and seemingly angry. He had hunted and brought back some dinner. He set them next to me and I began preparing them to cook over the fire. We quietly ate without saying anything. After we ate, Lalewithaka got up and left. Tecumseh didn’t even look up to watch him leave.

“Sleep early if you can. We are rising with the sun tomorrow to make our way to the northern tribes.” He rose and headed out of the trees opposite the direction that Lalewithaka went. I laid down and tried to sleep. But sleep wouldn’t come. Tecumseh returned and poked at the fire for a while. Not finding sleep, I finally sat up. My mind would not rest until I understood what happened from Tecumseh’s perspective.

“What happened before? With your brother?” I asked.

Without looking up, Tecumseh responded, “He reminded me of the path the Great Spirit set before me.”

“What path is that?” I pushed.

“The path to protect my people from your people.”

“You don’t even know my people. Why would you need to protect your people from them?”

“Because your people will take what they want without asking. And even when they ask they do not keep their promises. Their treaties give to them and take from us. I must keep them from taking anymore of who we are.”

“I’m not like those people.” I answered.

He stopped poking at the fire. Staring long into it, not moving, I could see his mind thinking.

“No. You are not.” He finally replied.

“I’m here to help you on your path. Isn’t that what your brother told you?”

“It is.”

“So then why did you run off before if I’m here to help you? Aren’t you also supposed to help me?”

“You do not need my help. You are the white mare. You have shown that you are able to care for yourself.” He began poking the fire again.

“You’re wrong.” I said flatly.

Once again, the flame prodding ceased. “Sleep,” he commanded.

“No.” I sat up straighter. “Tell me why you walked away before.” A long silence stretched between us. I felt the urge to yawn, but fought it back. The sun had set, the air was cooling, and my layers were beckoning me into the warmth of sleep. I resolved myself to stay awake until he answered. Realizing I was not looking away or giving up, Tecumseh finally spoke.

“Lalewithaka says the white mare lays with no one. She does not take a husband. She does not mother children. She does not grow old. She is not the wife of man. Her purpose is to follow the eagle as a sign, to speak the death of our people to all who will listen. I have listened and I do not agree. The white mare needs to be loved or she will die.”

“So why did you walk away?” I pushed again.

“Lalewithaka said the eagle will give the white mare all the love she needs.” He began his ministrations once again unto the blaze before him.

I couldn’t help but feel as though Lalewithaka had marked me as his own. Essentially telling Tecumseh to back off because he was going to oversee my care until my job for them was done. Part of me was enraged and another part was ecstatic at the idea that either of them could care for me at all. That their desire to be near me could lead to something beautiful; something that would take me on a journey beyond anything I had ever hoped to encounter. I could stand by their side as they changed the course of history.

Without saying another word, I relaxed and slipped beneath my covers once again. The warmth of the fire coupled with the clothes and blankets around me sang the siren song of sweet oblivion. Sleep came to me, but rest did not find me. My mind, my soul, my life kept stirring. Stirring and stirring still.

When I woke in the morning, the brothers were working to finish preparations for our continued northern trip. I stretched out of my blankets and wandered into the woods to answer the call of nature. When I returned, my bedding had already been rolled up and affixed to the horse. The brothers had extinguished the fire and left a small portion of “breakfast” on a leaf beside the cold remains. I ate it quickly and retrieved my bag. Lalewithaka was already on his horse. Tecumseh helped me onto his horse and then climbed on back.

The morning dew clung heavy to every blade of grass. The horses left a wake of dull green where their legs had knocked off the crystal drops that made every other blade look like a miniscule, shimmering emerald sword. The sun had finally made progress above the horizon and the journey became even more enchanting. It seemed the farther north we progressed, the greater the density of trees and hills. There were large plains here and there and at the edge of it all there were trees. So many trees.

By late morning, we had reached the trees and hills. We slowly progressed through the landscape, stopping to water the horses and feed ourselves. We continued our slow migration through the hills and trees. Towards evening, we crested a large hill and discovered a massive body of water. It wasn’t any body of water, it was Lake Michigan, at the southern tip of it. I had been to Lake Michigan enough times in my younger years to know what it looked like. And with the sun setting into it, it was the only large lake that made sense geographically. The horses began the slow descent into the trees that hugged the shoreline for miles in every direction. 

When finally the horses made it to the bottom, Lalewithaka rode ahead and along the shores in both directions for a while. When he returned, he strode up on his horse stopped beside Tecumseh’s horse.

“No people, in any direction. We are safe to stay here tonight.” Lalewithaka slid down off his horse and began unpacking his belongings. Tecumseh followed and helped me down before attending to his effects.

The fire was built and our bedding laid out. Lalewithaka fished for dinner and we settled in for a night next to the lake. I watched the sun sinking and walked out to the beach. The gentle waves of the great lake lapped at my feet and begged me to enter. It was early summer and the water was still quite cold. But not knowing when I would next be able to clean myself, I marched back to camp and grabbed the soap. I disrobed and waded into the chilly water.

The soap worked well to clean myself, even if it was a quick wash to avoid getting a chill. I sat in dry clothes, smelling clean for the first time in days, watching the sun draw towards the edge of the water. I had my bearing. I knew where I was. And I was at peace sitting alone, on the beach, watching the sun set. 

Blindingly, the reflection of the sun on the water dazzled like millions of diamonds, dancing on top of a gentle current of air. The sound of the waves slapping at the shore reminded me of summers from my youth when I would vacation along the Michigan coast and wake to the sound of fresh water waves. The smell of earth, renewal, and cleansing fresh upon my awareness allowed me to ease into relaxation and think.

The brothers wouldn’t allow me to remain impartial for long. I would have to decide who I wanted to pursue and who I would want to befriend. It had become obvious to me that there was a bit of squabbling between the brothers over me. Lalewithaka believed it was his right, while Tecumseh, I wasn’t sure what Tecumseh saw in me and that’s what intrigued me most. My thoughts clustered around me like seagulls on a fish. I sat staring into the sunset for so long, lost in my thoughts, that I didn’t realize the sun had gone below the lake surface. Darkness gathered quickly, but being by the water had granted me a momentary stay of excitement. 

Even as a child, it had taken considerable effort to pull me from the water. Pools, lakes, streams, it didn’t matter. If I could swim in it, I would. I sat by the lake, far enough away that the waves just barely tickled my toes, until Tecumseh came up beside me.

“It is time to come back now.” He said.

I looked up and then back out at the water that was turning into a mysteriously dark slick. I nodded and began to rise. Tecumseh offered me a hand to stand and after dusting the sand from my hands, I took his proffered hand and rose. As I came up, I stood staring up directly into his brown eyes. Night came slithering around us, but the only stimuli vying for my focus was the warm touch of Tecumseh’s hand on my hand. I could feel his breath teasing the curls at the top of my head and a charge shot through us. Suddenly, realization dawned in Tecumseh and the spell was broken. He dropped his hand and turned to walk away.

“Wait.” I said. He stopped and turned back around.

“What was that?” I asked.

“A feeling.” He responded and began to turn again.

I caught his arm, “That was not just a feeling. There was something more there.” I argued.

“Even if there were, I belong to Mamate.” 

“Do you?” I asked. “Because I’m here and she is not.”

Tecumseh turned to look at me. The moon had risen and the sun was just water colors dancing at the edge of the world. Suddenly the charge between us returned. He looked deep into my eyes and before I had time to inhale, his hands were in my hair, holding me as he kissed me deeply. Without a second to even think, my mouth responded in kind.

In that moment, all of the sounds were gone from the world. I could hear his heart racing and mine quickly echoed his. Lost in the void was any thought of 2019. I was right there, right then, and I had no desire to go back to my own time. What I had been missing was right in front of me. The adventure, the love, the difficulty, all that life had to offer stood in front of me in the form of a native man I had read about in books. He was a warrior for his people, but it was more and more clear to me that he was also incredibly passionate.

It was a whistle that brought us back to earth. Tecumseh’s head rose immediately and whistled back. He looked down at me again and then at the tree line.

“Mamate carries my child. White mare carries my future. I cannot love both.” He dropped my hands and began drudging back through the sand. He stopped and turned to me and gestured for me to follow. Unsure if my knees were going to work, I took a tentative step and then another. Light headed and ecstatic with hormones, the stirring returned. Peace fell behind me and an anxious future unfurled before me. I was stuck in a vortex between right and wrong, good and bad, peace and war, love and hate. Movement was much preferred to convalescing in a hospital bed. As long as I was in motion in 1795, I had no intention of going back to 2019.  
f going back to 2019.


	5. Pulled Between Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia finds herself torn between the two brothers and her two lives. As she struggles to find a meaningful connection to cement her in 1795, she also wrestles with the realization that what she wants may be something she cannot have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Tenskwatawa's name has been changed to Lalewithaka to reflect research that indicates his name did not change until the early 1800's. As the story continues in 1795, the name change reflects history more accurately.

An awkward silence fell over Tecumseh and Lalewithaka. I feared speaking as I didn’t want to make the awkwardness worse. We rose from our campsite near Lake Michigan and proceeded north along the shoreline. There was no talking as we rode. I knew we had reached Michigan by the time we stopped for camp that evening. 

The brothers went about camp prep. We were hidden in the trees near the lakeshore, but still out in the open for any eyes that might be looking for us. They set up camp in a valley between four hills. It would keep us warm at night, but also shield the fire so it couldn’t be seen. It wasn’t clear if we were being hunted, but I would imagine we weren’t or there wouldn’t have been a fire. Lalewithaka had ridden ahead a mile or so and not seen anything, but he was nothing if not cautious.

As they had been preparing camp, I had walked along the tree line next to the water and picked a few wild flowers. I sat quietly on my furs next to the fire. Tecumseh didn’t speak or look at me when I returned. I sat sniffing the flowers and turning them over in my hand. Lalewithaka poked at the fire and then rose.

“I am going to fish.” He stated and then turned to leave. It was dark out, so I’m sure he was hoping to catch quite a few. After he left camp, Tecumseh and I sat quietly for a while. After what seemed a long time, he turned to me.

“Let me see those flowers.” He commanded.

I handed them to him. He quickly wove them together. And handed back a flower crown. I smiled and asked, “Where did you learn to do that?”

“Young children learn how to do everything from hunting, fishing, and gathering to weaving, clothes making, and cooking.”

I placed the flower crown on my head and stared deep into the flames. Smiling the whole time, I sat thinking about the night before. My cheeks blazed red as the creep of desire surged beneath my skin. I looked up and caught Tecumseh’s gaze lingering on me. A faint smile played at his lips when he realized he’d been caught. And just as suddenly as he had appeared, the smile disappeared replaced with a look of aggravation.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I cannot love you.” He responded.

“I didn’t ask you to.”

“What do you want?” He asked.

“I don’t know. I guess I want to feel something. I want to be by your side and help you fight for what you love. That shouldn’t be me. I know that much.”

“Why should it not be you?” He inquired.

“I am not what you need. You’ve said as much. Plus you are with Mamate.”

The look on his face became more severe. “What? What did I say?” 

“Mamate has not loved me and I have not loved her. The chief arranged her to be my wife. We have done what was expected of us, that is all.” He explained.

“Okay? How does that change anything?” 

“It does not.” He replied forlornly. He sighed and continued, “I had a love once. She followed me everywhere and I followed her. She was fierce and strong. Her love gave me the strength to do what I had to do for my people. I asked her to stay home.” He clenched his jaw tight.

“What happened to her, Tecumseh?” I pressed.

“She would not stay home. She laughed at me and told me that if she did not go, there would be no one to keep me alive. She had the fire spirit in her and she burned with it. I did not expect her to fall. We went to fight the white man. They had passed onto our lands and were beginning to build. As we attacked, we realized that more men had arrived and we were outnumbered. I found her body afterward. She had been killed like an animal. Her throat was cut ear to ear. I carried her home to be buried with her ancestors. I have not spoken of her since. Oota Dabun.”

“Was that her name? Oota Dabun?”

“It is. It means day star.” He looked up at the stars gleaming above us. A stray cloud passed over and he returned his eyes to the flame. Quiet settled over us as her name hung in the air. It was as if her spirit had descended upon us and both of us gave her memory the reverence she deserved. Tecumseh broke the silence with a sigh.

“I cannot love again. Not like I did with Oota Dabun. Mamate is safe. She knows her place is with her people. She leaves the fighting to men. I do not have to worry about her. She was a good match.”

It sounded as if Tecumseh was trying to convince himself that he had a good relationship. I didn’t believe him. I knew that he and Mamate didn’t last. He went to his grave a single man. I knew this. I knew that if I threw myself at him, it would result in nothing. We were not meant to be married. I knew the same of Lalewithaka and began to question myself as to what I was truly pursuing.  
Per the usual, after a long silence, Tecumseh huffed, “Sleep.”

Deeming it was no longer a conversation he wished to continue, I did as commanded by Tecumseh and laid down, covering myself in blankets. I drifted peacefully to sleep and woke hours later. Lalewithaka had returned and was quietly snoring. Tecumseh had his back turned to the fire. I grabbed a log and laid it on the fire and wandered into the woods to urinate. It was a clear night and I could hear the waves calling to me. I walked towards the edge of the woods and looked up and down the beach. There wasn’t a soul in sight so I walked down to the edge of the water to feel the waves at my feet once again.

I removed one moccasin and then the other. I lifted the bottom of my pants ever so slightly and walked closer until the waves splashed over my feet. The coolness with the clear skies refreshed me into wakefulness. It was then I heard something moving behind me. I turned to see a bear with two cubs following her. She huffed at me and continued her trek southward along the coastline at the edge of the forest. I smiled at the realization of being attuned to nature to the point of being non-threatening to a mother bear.

The sky began to lighten and I realized the brothers would wake soon. I put my moccasins back on and returned to the camp. When I got there, neither brother was in their bed. I did not know where they had gone. I sat down on my furs figuring they would eventually return to camp as the horses were still tethered nearby and their beds had not been rolled up yet.

The sun was well up when Tecumseh came back into the camp. He whistled immediately and off in the distance, I heard the surefire return whistle of Lalewithaka. He strode to my bed quickly and squatted in front of me. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me from side to side checking me over to ensure I was okay.

“Where were you?” He demanded.

“I rose early and could not sleep. I was down by the water.” I answered, slightly confused.

“Do not leave camp like that again.” He said sternly.

“What is going on?” I asked still confused.

“Lalewithaka had a dream that you were taken. He woke and you were gone.” Tecumseh explained.

Suddenly feeling foolish, I bowed my head and fiddled with my fingers. “I’m sorry,” I said.

Tecumseh nodded and Lalewithaka returned to camp. His forehead was damp with perspiration from running through the woods, but he began rolling up his bed. I followed his lead and rolled my bed up. I fumbled through my bag for a bit of bread and ate it quickly. Lalewithaka didn’t say a word to me. He only watched my movements and followed Tecumseh. It was becoming increasingly difficult to remember which brother was older and in charge. There was a power struggle between them and I couldn’t decide which side to be on. History had sided with Tecumseh, as a military leader, because Lalewithaka was painted in a disapproving light for his disobedience of his brother’s orders at Prophetstown in 1811. I could now see that the power struggle seemed to be a real thing between the two of them and I was the least of the issues for them.

I was aware that the scare I had given them encouraged them to head away from the lakeshore. We rode inland all day. Early afternoon, we rode close to a settlement. Both brothers quietly communicated to each other about how to handle it. There didn’t seem to be anyone around the settlement, but they didn’t want to risk being seen. We backtracked and headed north a ways to steer clear of any prying eyes.

Dusk was upon us when Lalewithaka decided we should stop for the night. Unsure of his surroundings, he ordered that no fire be built and we passed the evening quietly. I fell asleep shortly after sunset and woke in the morning to Lalewithaka building a fire and Tecumseh gone.

“Where is your brother?” I asked yawning.

“Hunting.” Lalewithaka replied gruffly. His demeanor changed rapidly, however, and he looked up at me. He didn’t say anything else. I rose and went in search of a private place to relieve myself. When I returned to camp, the fire was built and Lalewithaka was warming meat next to it.

“Sit.” He commanded. I sat. “I am sorry for the way I have treated you. I know who you are and what you are. I am worried for you that you will depart from us again. I need you to be by my side to fight the white man.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m here. I can handle myself.” I answered flatly.

“I know. I comforted my brother after you fought him. I do not fear you being able to fight for yourself. I fear you going back to sleep. I fear you being taken. I need to bring you to the other tribes to show them. You need to be the white mare and I, the eagle.”

“I will stay close. I’m sorry for scaring you.” I offered.

“You need not be sorry. My own fears have been my enemy and I am letting them claim me. I must not do that anymore.” In true Lalewithaka fashion, he extended his hand and I put mine in his. He smiled at me then and he released my hand. Rising to his feet, he sighed and continued, “Today we ride to my people. The people who will fight for us. We will eat and sleep well tonight.”

Tecumseh returned and we disassembled camp and made our way northeast. We reached a village of natives around midday. We were welcomed openly and loudly. There were strange glances at me, but the fact that I was on a horse with Tecumseh made it apparent that I was not a threat. Towards the center of the village, we disembarked from the horses and were greeted warmly by the people. I didn’t understand what was being said, but Lalewithaka and Tecumseh were all smiles. I smiled as well while many native people lightly grabbed my arms in reassuring gestures of welcome.

The crowd dispersed to allow the chief to come forward. He embraced both Lalewithaka and Tecumseh before turning his gaze upon me. Lalewithaka said something quietly to the chief and they turned to leave. Tecumseh grabbed my arm and forced me to fall in behind his brother and the chief. I jerked my arm away from him and walked by his side as it was obvious I was meant to follow.

The four of us entered a dwelling and everyone sat, except for me. Lalewithaka continued talking in their native tongue and the whole time the chief kept his eyes focused on me. It seemed as if they had been talking for hours when I was finally given the okay to sit down. 

The conversation continued well into the evening. Tecumseh rose suddenly and bent to grab my arm. I once again wrenched it free from his grasp and rose to my feet. He walked ahead of me and I followed. He followed a native man from the village to a dwelling near the edge of their village. Tecumseh held back the leather door flap and I entered. There was a fire going and all of our travelling items had been brought in and set up for us. Tecumseh crossed to the other side of the dwelling and grabbed a jar before taking a seat next to the fire. He took a long pull from the jar and closed his eyes.

“You may sit if you like.” He offered.

“Can I ask what’s going on or am I a prisoner again?” 

“You are not a prisoner. Why would you say that?” He seemed baffled.

I crossed my arms over my chest and responded, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe because of you manhandling me like a prisoner.”

Tecumseh laughed audibly, “That was not manhandling. This is.” He rose quickly strode over to me and before I could try to defend myself, he had lifted me onto his shoulder like a sack of grain and was taking me to the other side of the dwelling. I began kicking and thrashing, but he had an iron grip until he dropped me onto my butt next to the fire. He again laughed. “See. You have been handled. Relax now, Chepi, here no one will harm you.”

“Chepi? What’s Chepi?”   
“You are Chepi now. My brother has called you Chepi to the chief and from now on, you shall be Chepi.” He smiled.

“What does it mean?” I asked.

“It means fairy. It is fitting. You rose from the middle of a field with knowledge of things to come. That makes you a fairy.”

“What happened to White Mare?”

“With these people, it is a word they use to be mean towards women.”

“Oh.” I responded flatly. “So now I’m Chepi.”

“You are.” He smiled and sat down next to me. He handed me the jar and I smelled it. It was clearly liquor. I took a swig and sputtered a little. It warmed my insides and I relaxed. I had not been a big drinker or partier at school, but there was so much that happened, I figured a little help in unwinding was not out of the question.

Silence fell over us as we became entranced in the flickering of the flames before us. Tecumseh rose and grabbed some meat and some bread item. Both tasted as if they were prepared by angels and I ate greedily. We continued to share the contents of the jar and I began to notice that I was getting drunk.

Tecumseh cleared his throat and looked at me. “We will be alone all night. The village is celebrating Lalewithaka and his vision. They will drink to you tonight and all of the people will honor you with creation.”

Honor me with creation? What did that mean? “What do you mean honor me with creation?”

“They will mate.” He said deadpan.

I had just taken a swig from the jar and promptly spit it out. Gasping and sputtering I looked at him, bewildered.

“Fighters are born because of celebrations like these. You should feel honored.”

Still coughing, I nodded. “Oh, I do, but why?”

“To fight the white man, we need more men. Is that not how white man makes more white man?”

“No, it is. It’s just, well, they don’t typically make more people as a celebration of war.”  
Tecumseh shook his head. “White man is strange.”

I laughed. “This is true. I don’t know very many white men who aren’t strange.”

Tecumseh laughed and took a bite of bread followed quickly by a swig from the jar. It was as if in that moment something in the atmosphere took a charge and the energy in the dwelling took a whole different feel to it. Nervousness took over and I chuckled followed by a quick nibble of bread and swig from the jar.

Tecumseh looked at me and then shifted closer to my side. I didn’t move away, but rather sat chewing and sipping, not entirely certain what he intended.

“Lalewithaka will lay with a woman tonight. Have you ever laid with a man?” He asked.

A flash of my head hitting the dumpster from the blackout I suffered before my rape came unbidden to my thoughts. I was not a virgin, but I didn’t remember anything of the first time save the violence before it happened.

“What?” He asked.

I shook my head.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know.” I stated, finding my voice. Perhaps emboldened by the liquor or by Tecumseh’s own revelations two days before, I decided if Tecumseh asked, I would tell him what happened to me.

As if reading my thoughts, “What happened?” He asked.

I tried explaining the whole thing to him in a way he would understand. He sat quiet for the longest time not saying anything as I explained how I don’t remember losing my virginity because it was stolen from me while I was unconscious. I further explained to him how that trauma was what led to me waking up in the field without any idea how I got there. I didn’t explain that I was from the future, but I did let him know that everything was foreign to me when I first woke in the field right down to my clothes.

When I finished telling him everything, he looked at me with tears in his eyes. “White man is strange. They see beauty and they destroy it by force. My people do not do this to women. The Great Spirit has made women to be sacred and cherished. If any man from any tribe hurts a woman in this way, he is taken from his tribe and made to wander wilderness until he kills himself or dies. Women are the heartbeat of my people.”

I felt a single tear slide down my cheek. I had come to know Tecumseh so much better over the last few days. He was always portrayed as this great chief and warrior, but no one ever spoke about how he was a compassionate person one on one. I placed my upturned hand on my knee and Tecumseh immediately took it.

“What does your spirit say of what happened to you?” He asked, staring deeply into my eyes.

“My spirit?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yes, what does your heart say.”

“I feel as though it never happened. I don’t remember it and because of that, I never was hurt.” I answered.

“If that is what your spirit feels, then live the life of a woman who has not been hurt in this way.”

I liked the way he thought. In this time, my body had not been violated. Could it be possible that I was actually unscathed? I wouldn’t know for sure until I slept with someone. And I was feeling as though that wait would be short lived. A smile crossed my lips and Tecumseh visibly relaxed.

Watching the fire, Tecumseh and I sat enjoying the food and drink we’d been provided. It wasn’t long after sundown when things outside of the shelter began to escalate. At first, it was just a yip here and there. Then, they became more plentiful followed by drums, music, singing, and finally the sounds of people engulfed in pleasure.

I blushed with the crescendo of each encounter. I had never heard anything like it before and Tecumseh reassured me they were not normally as vocal.

“Most men and women have children and have learned to be silent. But on nights like these, silence is hiding and there can be no hiding when the news we have brought to this people brings hope for a successful battle.”

As he spoke, I looked deeper into Tecumseh’s eyes and saw that the gruff warrior had faded into the background and tonight he was fun, loving, and unguarded. It was then that I realized that the tiny glimpses I had seen of an unguarded, worried, or lustful Tecumseh in the past were hiding who he genuinely was once you got to know him. Having had too much liquor, bravery lent itself to my disposal and I spoke more than I normally would.

“What do you see in me?” I asked Tecumseh.

“A woman.” He answered with a chuckle.

I pushed him, “No really, what do you see in me?”

An emotion something akin to fear lit within his soul, “I see a fighter. I see a warrior woman. I see someone who will change me for the better.”

“Do you think you could love me?” I asked.

The fear in his eyes deepened. “I fear it.”

“What do you mean?” I prodded.

“I cannot love you. I cannot. It will mean your end.” He answered.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that Lalewithaka has foreseen that no woman I love will ever survive me. I will be their death.”

“Like Oota Dabun?” I asked.

“She died because of her love for me. I will not risk the same of you.”

“What about Mamate?”

“I do not know the day, but she too will give her life for me.”

“Do you love her? Like you loved Oota Dabun?” I asked.

“No.” He answered flatly.

It was clear that he had feelings for me. Stronger feelings than he had for Mamate, but he would not betray her and risk my life according to his brother’s vision. I decided to throw caution to the wind and kiss him. As my lips met his, our bodies melded together. My hands slid up his back as his hands embraced my cheeks as if they were the life preserver that would keep him from drowning. He dropped one hand to my breast and slid the other into my hair.

Each thrust of his tongue into my mouth lit pins and needle throughout my entire body. I pulled my hands to the front of his shirt and started pulling at his strings. He reciprocated and soon we were topless. His mouth began to seek other sensations as he trailed kisses across my cheek to nibble at my ear, down my neck, and then settling at my breast. I sighed loudly as each new sensation awakened a flame within me that had either never been lit or had gone out before I even realized it existed.

As our bodies sought what we were missing, groping for the puzzle piece to complete who we were as people in each other, the flames from the fire seemed to grow larger. The room began to spin and the heat in the room seemed too much. I began to feel faint. I gasped for air and felt limp. Tecumseh noticed immediately.

“What is wrong?” He asked.

“I feel hot and weak.”

Concern washed over his features. He looked me over.

“Can I help you undress? To cool off.” He stated.

I nodded my head and we took the remainder of my clothes off. He doused the fire a touch and opened the entrance a touch. The cool night air washed over me and I relaxed. He came back to me next to the fire.

“You should rest.” He stated matter of factly.

“But us?”

“There is time for us. You should rest.” He looked weary.

I did not want to cause him distress, so I laid back on the furs laid out by the fire. My body was in flames, but I could feel the pull of sleep. As I tried to find a comfortable position, Tecumseh removed his clothes and laid next to me. I could feel his desire pressing against my thigh. I turned on my side to face him. I leaned in to kiss him.

“Rest, Chepi.” He smiled and softly stroked my cheek. I closed my eyes and drifted peacefully to sleep.

Morning came much too quickly and with a startle.

“What have you done?” Lalewithaka’s voice was raised.

“I have done nothing.” Tecumseh responded.

“You laid with her. It is clear.”

“I lent her my warmth. Nothing else.”

“That is not what it appears.”

I rose on my elbows very aware of a slight pounding in my head and a twist in my stomach.

“Are you accusing your brother of sleeping with me?” I entered the fight.

“You do not speak. You are mine and you will listen to me.” Lalewithaka hissed at me.

I rose quickly to my feet, regretting it. As I stumbled forward, Tecumseh rushed to my side to help steady me.

“I am no man’s property. Not yours. Not Tecumseh’s. I am a person. And you have no claim to me.” I straightened myself up.

“You have poisoned her mind against me. We will never defeat her people if she is distracted by you.” Lalewithaka addressed Tecumseh.

“I have nothing but love for you brother. I have cared for you and made you like our brothers and still you have no love for me. You can believe me or you can believe what you want. But do not believe that you have not also done damage to your future this night.” Tecumseh responded.

Tecumseh bent to gather his clothes and pulled his pants quickly on fastening them at his waist adeptly. He bent and grabbed my clothes and handed them to me. Lalewithaka watched Tecumseh as he moved about the dwelling.

“You do not speak so you know it to be true.” Tecumseh finally spoke.

“I have done what was expected of me.” Lalewithaka responded.

“So giving your seed to a strange woman in another village is what she expects?” Tecumseh rebutted.

“She does not own me yet. And until she does, I will do as I please.” Lalewithaka responded.

“If that is what you want, you do not deserve her love,” Tecumseh spat at his brother while pointing at me. “Drink until you are gone. Sow your seed where you wish. But she does not belong to any of us.” He pointed at me again as he shook with fury.

“Mamate deserves your love. She carries your child.” Lalewithaka smirked.

“So does your betrothed.” Tecumseh responded. He grabbed his knife and left the dwelling. Lalewithaka followed him. I continued putting on my clothes including the knife I had been carrying.

I realized in that moment that both of them were spoken for and had pregnant women waiting for them at home. Tecumseh did not seem as though he planned for his marriage to last. But what was really throwing me was the fact that Lalewithaka was betrothed and had impregnated her before the wedding. There was a woman waiting for him, carrying his child, and he didn’t seem to care. He had never spoken of her. Tecumseh was open about his feelings for Mamate, but Lalewithaka had hidden the information about having a woman who he planned to marry.

The longer I thought, the more angry I became. I knew it wasn’t right to be the “home wrecker” and pull Tecumseh from his wife, but stealing Lalewithaka from a woman who he never spoke of, who would bear his child, somehow seemed so much more sinister. And it felt as if that was his plan all along. He was looking for a better option. It became clear to me that I did not want to be his better option.

I would wait for him to return. I would confront him. And he would know that I did not belong to him and that I did not want him.


	6. Beds Have Been Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia meets again with Major General Anthony Wayne. Several startling revelations lead Julia to take steps to stay with Tecumseh at all costs.

“YOU LIED TO ME!” I yelled.

“I did not lie to you. I did not mislead you. I am not married.” Lalewithaka rebutted.

“Don’t you dare. You told me you did not belong to anyone. Those were your words. And now, now I hear that you are promised to a woman? And she’s carrying your child?”

“No man should be alone. I did not know that I would find you. I drink so much I never know if my visions are reality or just something I dream up. I agreed to the match before you ever came to me.”

“That does not make it okay. You have kept Tecumseh from me. You have tried to take me from him. You have been horrible to him and to me when I did not shower you in attention and affection. All so that you could warm your bed with any woman you wanted while promised to someone else!”

“I owe you nothing. You are a weapon given to me by the Great Spirit and I will use you as I want.”

“OH! Oh. Well, in that case, this weapon is going to become your worst nightmare!” I turned and walked towards the entrance. Lalewithaka grabbed my arm. I yanked it free and slapped his face hard.

“Do not touch me ever again.” I seethed. He grabbed my arm again. My knife was conveniently hidden under my top within the sash that helped to hold up my pants. I quickly pulled it with the opposite arm and held it against his neck so close that his skin began to flush crimson.

“Let go or I will kill you.” He searched my eyes for mercy, but I had none to give. He released my arm. Staring at him, I continued, “Do not follow me. You tell your brother that is your greed that has driven me away.”

I turned to leave. Lalewithaka did not try to stop me. No one within the village tried to stop me. I walked into the trees and down a hill to a very large tree where I sat down. As I hit the ground, I began to sob. I had feelings for Tecumseh. I wanted to be next to him through the whole scope of his life and battle. In my time, when I read what happened to the native, I had always felt like they were treated unfairly. If nothing else I really wanted to help him, every step of the way, to find peace and justice for his people. But Lalewithaka had prevented him from getting close.

As the tears came unwanted, I suddenly lightened on a rustling in the leaves nearby. I looked up and around, but saw no one. 

“Pardon my intrusion, miss, but are ye alright?” Asked a voice that couldn’t have come from a native. I turned and jumped to my feet seeing a man in uniform. He put his hands up, “I’m not here to harm ye, miss, but I heard ye cryin’ and wanted to make sure ye were okay.”

I stood staring at him. Was I dreaming? Was he real? I couldn’t really decide. Looking at him he was tall and slender. He had ruby blond hair and the bluest eyes I had ever seen. They seemed full of concern, but also something else. They stared at me with an ice cold resolve that sent shivers down my spine.

“Miss, do ye hear me?”

I nodded.

“Do ye know what I’m saying?” He asked.

I nodded.

“I think ye’d best be comin’ with me, miss. Savages roam this land and it isna safe for ye.”

Was that a slight Scottish accent? I began backing away from him. I shook my head. I did not want to go with him. 

“Come now, miss, I mean ye no harm.” He started slowly walking towards me with his hand outstretched. I continued my slow backwards progress and as he took two swift steps closer, I turned to run, but ran face first into a large, firm man in the same uniform as the man before me. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off my feet.

“Now, now, miss, we are friends. No need to be treating us like those savages. We won’t be hurtin’ you the way they have.” I started to scream and thrash harder against my captor. He quickly clamped a huge gloved hand over my mouth. I tried to bite him, but the glove kept slipping off his flesh when I bit down getting only mouthfuls of glove.

They began walking me away from the native village towards a clearing that had been fortified as a campsite for soldiers. They had horses and there were soldiers milling about dowsing campfires and preparing horses for travel. My captor was brought a horse and he threw me up onto it. I lifted my head trying to get my bearings and saw Tecumseh cresting the hill. He saw me and yelled.

“TECUMSEH!” I yelled. My captor promptly bashed me on my head and I floated into darkness.

I don’t know how long I was out, but I woke in a dark room that had one small candle flickering in the corner. I stirred slightly and heard a book close across the room.

“Ah, she stirs,” said a disembodied voice. Suddenly a match flared lighting his features and I immediately knew who he was. 

“Dr. Smith?” I asked.

“Your mind does not fail you, my dear.” He said lighting more candles. “Welch!” He barked.

Soon, the soldier was in the room, “Yes, sir?” He questioned.

“Please tell Major General Wayne that she has awoken. He’ll want to speak with her.”

“Begging your pardon, doctor, but the major general is already turned in for the evening.” Welch objected.

“Tell him Dr. Smith told you to wake him.”

“Yes, sir!” Welch turned and left.

“My dear girl, are you quite alright? I heard where they found you and what they had to do to pull you away from those savages.”

I pressed myself up ever aware of the throbbing in my head. “You mean being bashed on the head to keep from screaming?” I asked.

“The soldier said that you hit your head against a tree and were knocked unconscious as the savage chased you.”

“That savage was Tecumseh and I was not running from him.”

“Are you alright, Miss Hollinger? You seem confused. You have taken quite a bit of trauma as of late. I fear you may not be thinking clearly.” Dr. Smith attempted to soothe me with words.

I sat myself all the way up, wincing ever so slightly as my head began to spin from the exertion. “I am quite alright, other than the pain in my head caused by a rather large man who took me from a woods where I was in no immediate danger.”

“Pish posh, my dear. Those men meant you no harm. Your family has been looking for you. When they heard you were found and then taken by those beasts, they have been over wrought with grief.”

“My family?” I asked.

“Yes, my dear, they have been anxiously awaiting your return. We will send for them in the morning.”

“I don’t have a family.” I responded.

“It is as I feared. You have damaged your mind.”

At that moment, Major General Anthony Wayne burst into the room. He looked at Dr. Smith and then looked at me.

“What has she told you?” Wayne asked Dr. Smith.

“She has indeed been in contact with Tecumseh.” Dr. Smith responded.

General Wayne at that point turned and looked at me with a look in his eye that was quite possibly the most frightening look I had ever seen on an older man. It was carnal while at the same time reserved.

“My dear Elizabeth, is there anything we can get you?” He asked.

I tried to move myself farther away from him, but the bed I had been placed in was directly beside a wall. He slowly crept across the room to the edge of my bed. He regarded me as one might regard a feral cat that they wish to befriend. I did not believe he would pounce on me, but I knew his wheels were turning and it frightened me to think what “use” he could put me to. Further heightening the tonic of fear and adrenaline coursing through my veins was the fact that he called me Elizabeth.

“My name is not Elizabeth.” I whispered.

Chuckling to himself, Wayne continued, “I am so sorry, my dear. I am old and I did not quite hear what you said. Would you mind repeating that for me?”

“My name is not Elizabeth.” I said louder.

“Yes it is. Your father identified you based on your description weeks ago when we sent for him, the first time you were here.” Wayne responded.

It was then I realized I was back at Fort Greenville, but that was days on horseback from where I had been captured. My father had identified me. Nothing was making any sense. The only thing that seemed to make much sense at all was that they knew I had been with Tecumseh and planned to exploit that to their advantage.

“That’s impossible.” I said quietly.

“Again, my dear, you’ll have to speak up.” Wayne insisted.

“It is not possible that my father identified me. I have no family here.”

“Oh my dear, I assure you that you do and they are quite worried about you. I would like to get you home to them as soon as possible, but I have to talk to you about your involvement with the Indians.” He rose from the bed. He pulled a chair from the table and pushed it next to the bed so that he could look directly in my face.

“I beg your pardon, miss, but I cannot allow you to reunite with your family until I know what you know.”

Feeling defiant, I crossed my arms over my chest, realizing that I had been changed out of my clothes that had been provided by the natives, squared my shoulders, and flinched only mindly at the pain in my head. “You can keep me as long as you like. Tecumseh will come for me. And when he does, you can tell my family that they took me again and I won’t ever be back.”

Dr. Smith rose and whispered into General Wayne’s ear. I caught small details talking about what was known, in my time, as Stockholm Syndrome but had not yet been given a name in the late 1700’s. Wayne dismissed Dr. Smith who promptly left the room.

“Listen, Miss Elizabeth Marie Hollinger, let me tell you clearly what will happen to you if you fail to comply. I will make sure you are locked up and that you never see your family again. I will make sure that any attempts to rescue you are thwarted. I will make sure that you are found guilty of and executed for treason. I will have my men hunt any indian and kill them if they stand in opposition to the treaty that I have worked so long and so hard to make a reality. If you value your life and that of the indians, you will tell me what you know and find mercy.”

Leaning forward ever so slightly, I stared directly into Major General Anthony Wayne’s face and said, “Lock me up.” Immediately his face turned red and became speechless. He rose suddenly and stomped out of the room. I heard him lock the door from the outside. I knew that there would be no one around who would be willing to help me, so I opted to save my energy and the pain in my head for an opportune moment.

It never came, however, as I fell asleep sitting up and was awoken the next morning by several people entering my room. There were two women with a dress and two soldiers, as well as Dr. Smith. He was to oversee my care until I could be moved to a more secure location. He begged me to tell Anthony Wayne what I knew of Tecumseh and his followers. I steadfastly refused to talk about my time with the natives. I was unsure I even knew anything of real worth as most tribal discussions were held in languages I did not understand.

After two days of sitting in a tiny room, not knowing for sure what time it was, and being far too warm in a much too large a dress, Dr. Smith came in once more to plead with me. As I continued to refuse to say anything to him, he left and Major General Anthony Wayne once again came to advise me to not withhold my knowledge.

“Ms. Hollinger, I pray you’ve been treated well.” He said.

“If being locked in a room in a sweltering dress is hospitable, then I’ve been treated fine.” I tossed back.

“And the food? Was it to your liking?” He asked.

After days of eating different types of game, I could not complain about the food they had brought me. It was better than the food that I had been eating with Tecumseh.

“The food was fine.” I answered.

“I am glad you have enjoyed the food. Sadly, however, it must come to an end. Because you have been less than cooperative in disclosing what you know about Tecumseh’s plans, I am being forced to transfer you to the officials in Marietta. The journey to Marietta is a dangerous one and we have lost many soldiers and prisoners to the savages between here and there. Some indians, some not. If you arrive there, you will be executed for treason. They will strip you down and throw you into a cell. There, you will have one meal a day until your execution. I can tell you that I have it on good authority that the food there is not as favorable as you have been given here. However, if you tell me now, what you know, I’ll send for your family and you will be allowed to stay here until they arrive. I’ll allow you to roam around the fort and you can begin to put this unfortunate incident behind you.”

I knew what he was doing. However, I had to weigh my options. Would it be easier for Tecumseh to get to me if I were behind the gates of the fort? Or would it be easier for him to intercept me on the road? What if he wasn’t watching? What if he didn’t know I was moved? Would it be easier to stay where he knew I was? It was impossible to think?

“Time is slipping by, miss. I’ll give you until after your evening meal to decide.” He rose and left making sure to loudly lock the door as he departed.

I rose and pressed my ear against the door. I heard the sound of soldiers milling around so I figured the room was at least close to the interior court. I pressed my ear against the other walls. One had the sound of a man coughing. One had no sound whatsoever. And the final one had what sounded like wind and rain beating against it. Knowing I had limited time, I’d have to take my chances.

I began to pick closely at the boards on the wall that sounded like wind and rain. As I took splinter after splinter off the wood, collecting more than a few under the skin of my fingers, I was able to get a finger through the fort. I looked out and saw grass and trees, grey skies and rain. It was at this point that I had wished that I had learned to whistle as Tecumseh and Lalewithaka did. I continued to pick trying to make the small opening larger. Suddenly an arrow hit the fort right next to my finger.

I looked from the direction the arrow had come from and saw shadows moving, but I couldn’t make out any of them. And then, quietly, as if it had been gently carried upon the window, I heard a whistle. It was the whistle of the brothers and I knew one of them was there.

This made thinking all the more difficult. Staying here and hoping they could once again infiltrate the fort to rescue me would be easier, but then riding between Greenville and Marietta meant that it would be easier for them to ambush my transport. Knowing I was being watched, gave me the clarity to finally settle my mind and choose to be transported to Marietta.

Dinner arrived and I ate slowly, with my back covering the hole in the wall. After I had finished eating, as was the usual, my dishes and remaining food were taken away and I was left alone. I knew someone would be coming for me, so I didn’t dare move from the chair that helped me to conceal the small opening I had created. It wasn’t long before General Wayne arrived.

“I hope you found your dinner to expectations. I would love to ensure that you continue to be fed well. Such a beautiful young woman as yourself should not allow herself to dwindle to such a petite size. It is most unhealthy.”

“Thank you for your concern, Major General Wayne.” I politely responded.

He took the seat across from me and stared into my eyes searching for a hint as to what I was about to say. 

“I take it you have decided to reconsider your decision to remain silent?” He asked.

Being as polite as I possibly could, “Oh absolutely not. I just enjoyed the last warm, tasty meal I will have in my life. I savored it completely. Thank you for your hospitality, but I’d like to take my chance in Marietta.”

Once again, General Wayne’s face grew quite red. “Your parents will be most displeased that you have chosen this fate for yourself. I, as well, am very disheartened that you have chosen to betray your family and the crown. I will arrange for your transport. I pray God has mercy on your soul.” He rose to leave and before I knew what was happening, he slapped me as hard as he could across the face. I felt my head hit the wall with a sickening crunch and the world faded into blackness.

As the blackness enveloped me, I heard Laura’s voice.

“Julia? Julia. Come back to me. Julia? Are you there? I’m here. I love you. Please wake up. Open your eyes, Julia.”

Something within me wanted to go to my sister, but then there was something else that didn’t want to leave 1795 where it was. I needed to stay, for Tecumseh. I couldn’t be the distraction that cost him everything. I had to help him.

I heard Laura sob as I fell deeper into the darkness. Then there was no sound. I woke and there was no light. Sitting in darkness, I looked around. I felt I was sitting upright. There was a light breeze blowing at my shoulder. I breathed deeply and smelled horses, grass, and smoke. I was still in 1795. I turned slowly, as I did, there was a buzzing in my head that blocked out all sound and I was aware of a splitting migraine that felt as though my brain was in a vice.

I looked out the small hole in the wall. It was dark. I poked a couple of fingers through and tried to be noticed. I laid my head against the wall, closed my eyes and felt a single tear make its way down my cheek. I had nearly given up hope when I felt a hand grasp my fingers from the outside. I pulled them back and looked out the opening and saw Tecumseh.

“Are you okay, Chepi?” He smiled.

The tears ran down my cheek. “Oh Tecumseh, yes, I’m okay.”

“Have they hurt you?” He asked, concern washed over his face.

“I’m a little roughed up, but I’ll be fine. You have to get me out of here. They plan to move me to Marietta tomorrow.”

“They hurt you?” The anger was plainly in his voice.

“Tecumseh, listen to me, they want me to tell them what I know about you. If I do, they will keep me here. If I don’t, they will move me to Marietta where they plan to kill me. How can I help you get me out of here? Is it better for me to stay here or move.”

Shaking his head, he cleared his thoughts. “Let them move you. On the third day, I will come for you. Stay low and wait until I call for you.”

“I understand. Don’t be seen and don’t get hurt.” I whispered through the wall of the fort. 

I watched him slink back into the shadows beneath the trees just beyond the fort. My heart leapt knowing he was close. I tried as best I could to cover the hole before I went to bed, but if someone was looking for it, they would find it.

In the morning, a woman came in to quick wash my face and hands. There was no breakfast. There was no Dr. Smith or General Wayne. Two soldiers came in, one of which was Welch. The other one tied my hands with twine and we left the room. I came into the center of the fort where horses and a wagon were waiting for me. I was picked up and sat in the wagon. They made me wiggle my way all the way to behind the wagon seat where they tied my bindings to the seat of the wagon. After that, they filled the wagon with bags of provisions for the soldiers guarding my transport and a few other miscellaneous items. I heard the gates of the fort open and saw four riders approach. Two went ahead of the wagon and two fell in behind the wagon.

We rode out at a slow pace. There were soldiers all along the top of the fort watching from every direction. Once outside of the gate, there were four more horses that dropped into formation, two behind and two in front. We rode quickly away from the fort and slowed to a trot once the fort was out of sight. The four additional riders turned to go back to the fort at midday. As the sun was beginning to set, a gnawing in my stomach made me aware that I had not eaten anything.

The miles passed slowly until around sundown. The soldiers pulled over into a clearing and set up camp for the night. They left me in the wagon and spent the evening ignoring me. They tossed me a hunk of bread that went over the side of the wagon and fell in the dirt. One soldier walking by to relieve himself behind a tree picked it up, dusted it off, and handed it to me with a smile on his face. He didn’t say anything, but I was grateful for his mercy.

I didn’t sleep much that night and only a few of the soldiers did. At first light, they packed up their camp and we were moving once again. As the midday sun reached us, we came to a stream that they stopped beside to water the horses and so the soldiers could stretch their legs. I remained in the wagon again as they ate and lounged near the trees. The wagon was in full sun and I was beginning to burn. I did my best to mitigate the damage, but I was going to be sore for sure. Late afternoon, we began our trek again.

I was becoming aware that I had not relieved myself in over 24 hours and was concerned. Little water and little food meant that the desire was not there. The sun set and the soldiers made camp. The soldier who had given me the bread politely the night before came over. He gave me a hunk of bread and offered to assist me in relieving myself. I politely told him I didn’t need assistance, but he wanted to at least give me the opportunity. 

He extended the rope as far as he could, still attached to the twine around my wrists, and allowed me to disappear behind a tree for a time. He jerked on the rope suddenly and told me to hurry it up. Convinced I had handled my business as best I could, I rose and met him on the other side of the tree.

“Feel better?” He asked.

“No.” I said flatly.

“Are you thirsty?” He pushed.

“Very.” I responded.

Once secured back in the wagon, he found me another hunk of bread and allowed me to drink water from his canteen.

“My name is Maclachlan. My da was part of the group who brought you in.” He made small talk.

I nodded. I recognized a slight Scottish lilt to his voice, but not nearly as perceivable as his fathers.

“The guys over there are Burns, O’Leary, Johnson, McNutt, and Brewer. They are all pretty good guys, but I’ve only known them for a little while. Who are you?”

“I’m Chepi.” I didn’t want to tell him my name was Julia, but I also didn’t feel right telling him my name was Elizabeth. He made a face and nodded his head.

“Why are we taking you to Marietta? And why are there so many of us?”

“I know Tecumseh and refuse to talk about him.” I answered.

“Really? You know him?” Machlachlan perked up. “Tell me about him.”

“No thanks, I’d rather be alone now, if you don’t mind.” I answered.

“Wayne said you wouldn’t talk. I think you will. We will see.” Maclachlan walked away with a sinister look in his eye.

After that, every time Maclachlan would walk by he’d touch me in some way. Never anyway inappropriate, but it was disconcerting nonetheless. As the night wore on, I dozed as best I could, making observations of the night watch as they took momentary breaks to find a remote tree. I woke as the wagon began to move in the morning. It was the third day. I had eaten only a few small chunks of bread and drank very little water. I could feel my body slowly shutting down and I feared my ability to make a run for it when Tecumseh showed up.

I watched all day, looking for him, trying to see where he would be and saw nothing. As night came, the soldiers once again stopped to make camp. I was losing hope that we had somehow lost him. The evening dragged on as it normally did. They made camp, had dinner, told stories, drank, threw bread at me and then drew straws for first on night watch. Again, every time Maclachlan walked by, he would touch me, but it had become more familiar and less appropriate. He would touch my knee or graze my breasts. I feared he would attack me that night. The fear alone kept me awake, until my eyes could no longer stay open. Dehydrated and starving, I had to restore my energy somehow, and so I sank into a restless sleep. I woke suddenly to a commotion.

Maclachlan ran to the wagon and untied me and carried me to a stand of trees.

“Stay quiet and I’ll protect you.” He said as he looked out towards the camp. When he looked back, he lit on my face and then kissed me fiercely. My hands were still bound but I tried to push him away. He grabbed hold of the rope and pulled my hands to the side and in one swift move, he was on top of me. His legs were prying mine apart while his other hand groped at my skirts pulling them up as high as he could.

My mind kept saying, “No, not again, not again.” But instinct kicked in and I kneed him soundly in the groin. He let out a sickening groan and rolled to his side, writhing in the grass. I found my feet and ran.

“You bitch!” He screamed after me. I turned and saw him getting to his feet. Just as he rose, an arrow caught him in the temple and crumpled forward as fear, realization, and resignation washed over his face. His knees hit the ground and a small trickle of blood ran down his cheek. He moaned loudly and fell forward twitching.

I found a small ditch next to the stand of trees and laid down in it. There was the occasional pistol discharge and some grunting and groaning, but it was mostly just quiet as the chaos continued. I don’t know how long I laid in the ditch. Finally all the noise ended and I was alone with the stars and the dark countryside. There were no voices and no one called out. My mind was racing. What if it wasn’t Tecumseh? Wayne had said that transports were often ambushed and all parties killed.

Then, as if it was the only sound my ears could hear, there was a whistle.

“Chepi! Chepi, where are you?” My throat tightened and I heard the sob escape my mouth. There were no tears, but I felt my body shaking as though being wracked with sobs. I rose shakily to my feet.

“Tecumseh! Tecumseh, I’m over here!” His back was turned to me. When he turned and saw me, he dropped his weapon and ran to me. 

His arms wrapped about me and I collapsed into his embrace. With incredible dexterity, he lifted me off my feet and carried me to his horse. He set me on my feet next to it.

“Give me your hands.” I pushed them towards him. Gently, he began to unbind them. Once unbound I fell into him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Wrapping his arms around my shoulders, he sighed deeply. The sobs continued with no tears produced. He gently stroked my hair.

“You are okay, Chepi. I have you. I will never let anyone hurt you.” I tried to slow my breathing and calm the storm inside.

“Maclachlan, he nearly,” I stammered.

“Nearly what?” Tecumseh pushed me to arms length.

“He touched me. And he kissed me. And he tried to take me.” I responded.

As if by instinct, he dropped his hands, picked up his tomahawk and walked over to where Maclachlan fell. He let out a loud scream and planted his tomahawk into Maclachlan’s body over and over again. He raised his arms and threw his head back and yelled loudly in his tongue. It was only then that I realized there were other natives nearby as they took up the chorus and yelled in unison with Tecumseh. My knees buckled and I fell to the ground. I watched as the skirts of my dress billowed around me. I looked to my right and saw O’Leary, then Burns, then Brewer, then Johnson, and finally McNutt. All bleeding and all dead.

Tecumseh walked slowly back to me as the other natives went through the campsite to take what would be useful. He helped me onto the horse and then he climbed the horse. He walked his horse over to one of the natives, said something in their language, then kicked the horse and we rode off leaving his people behind.

The ride wasn’t far until we reached a dwelling sitting nestled in a grove of trees. Tecumseh got down from the horse and I half jumped, half fell off the horse into his arms. He wrapped an arm around my waist and helped me into the dwelling. Inside there was a fire burning and furs laid out.

As was his fashion, he gruffed, “Sit.” I fell onto the furs and sat looking at the fire. Tecumseh came over with a bowl of water, a pitcher, and some meat. He handed me a wooden cup that was filled with water.

“Drink.” He commanded. As I brought the cup to my lips, he began untying the laces of my dress. I drained the glass and he refilled it as he made slow work of removing the top bust of the dress. Once exposed, he untied the lace to the skirt. I drained another glass of water. He took my hands, lifted me to my feet, and helped me to step out of the skirts. He kicked them to the side.

Settling us once again on the furs next to the fire, he took the bowl of water and some cloth and began washing me. I looked up into his face. It was only then I realized he was covered in blood.

“I will clean myself after you are clean.” He answered my startled stare. Slowly, gently, methodically he wiped down my skin from head to toe, but not anything covered by my shift. He rose to clean himself, but I grabbed his arm to keep him close. I grabbed the bottom of my shift and raised it above my head making myself naked for him to continue his work.

Eyes wide and hungry, he went back to cleaning. Every touch was gentle and yet my skin flushed under his touch. The atmosphere shifted and although I felt warm, the air around us cooled. I raised my hand and brushed his cheek. He leaned his face into my hand. The blood on his face was cold and sticky, but I could no longer hold myself in check. I needed to feel him, to have him, to own him. I kissed him as if our lives depended on it. At first he tried to draw back, but I felt the tension leave his body and he gave into my desire.

He dropped the bowl and the water hissed as it touched the flames. He pushed me backwards so I was laying on the furs and in a motion almost too quick to realize he was between my legs. My hands began frantically untying the laces of his pants.

“Say yes, Chepi.” He groaned into my mouth. “Say you will let me have you. All of you.”

Wanting nothing more at that moment, I said, “Yes.”

Gently, without force, and with great care, he pushed inside of me. He sighed quietly and began to move very slowly. I wrapped my legs around his waist and watched his face as he moved within me. His eyes opened and the look of fear was in them. A single tear formed in the corner of my eye and I began to feel myself racing towards the edge of something. What, I wasn’t sure. My breath came short and fast as he picked up his speed.

Our bodies moved together and it was only when it happened that I knew what it was I was rushing in the direction of as I found release in him. As my body tingled and all thoughts vanished from my mind replaced with only sensation, Tecumseh found his own release, moving slowly until he stilled atop me. The fear was still very visible on his face as his brows knit together in thought, anguish, and delight at the same time.

As our breathing returned to normal, Tecumseh looked down at me. He brushed a blood stained hand across my cheek and I closed my eyes, delighting in the sensation. As the quiet world around us began to ring louder in my ears, I couldn’t help but feel pulled. My mind wanted to consider everything I had endured, including the ramifications. I became aware of how stuck we were, together, physically, mentally, emotionally, and now, it felt as though we were spiritually connected as well. I felt a smile play at the corner of my mouth and Tecumseh rose suddenly.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Are you okay?” He asked in return.

“I feel fine.” I responded.

“You bleed.” 

“How can you be sure? You are still covered.” 

“The furs.”

I sat up, slid backward a little, and sure enough, there was a tinge of blood on the furs. I began running through all of the various possibilities. Perhaps my cycle had shortened. Perhaps I wasn’t actually raped. Perhaps I tore or something. I didn’t know, but I was sufficiently disconcerted.

“Chepi, were you honest with me?” Tecumseh asked.

“What? About what?” I responded.

“That you were forced.”

I felt indignity wash over me. “How dare you? I’ve told you nothing but the truth.”

“It would appear you were not forced. You have never lain with a man before.”

“I told you, I don’t remember it. He hit my head and I woke up in the field.”

“Then how did you know you were?”

 

“I was told.” I knew where this was going. I was going to have to try and explain to him how I knew.

“Who told you?”

It was now or never and I froze. I didn’t want him to think I was insane, but I didn’t want to lie to him either. I looked down at my hands. They were covered with sticky, drying blood. My chest was also mottled with drying blood from Tecumseh’s body. I had to tell him the truth. I knew it, but it was going to be hard to explain. He squatted next to me, grabbed my shoulders and shook me a little.

“Tell me, Chepi.”

I opened my mouth and it all came flooding out. Towards the end of it, he sat back and crossed his legs. He placed his face in the palms of his hands. 

“I’m not sure how it happens, I just know that there are times when I fall asleep and wake up here. And other times, I fall asleep and wake up there. I want to be here, though. I’m happy here. With you.”

Tecumseh got to his feet. He paced back and forth for a minute and then strode out of the shelter. The tears flowed as if all was lost. I should lay down and will myself back to 2019. But Tecumseh had not said anything. I was willing to give him time before I tried to get back to my own time. As I sat, the sadness gave way to soreness and exhaustion. It was still dark outside and I wasn’t sure how long Tecumseh would be gone. I laid down on the furs. I was barely drifting off when I felt something touch me.

My eyes fluttered open to see Tecumseh with a fresh bowl of water and cleaning my hands. I pulled my hand away and sat up. I stared at him, but he did not look at me.

“Are you not going to speak to me?” I asked.

“It is all true.” He responded.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“My brother, he saw this. He saw all of this. He told me of all of this. He has been wrong before. Many times. But this time, he is right. You do not know how you got to that field?” He asked.

“No, I don’t. I was hit in the head and I woke up in the field.”

Tecumseh sat the bowl down next to me. He began washing me and then himself. He sat next to me, quietly, for a very long time. The water in the bowl stilled and it was in that moment that everything changed. What I saw in the water frightened me beyond anything I had ever seen.

I kicked the water bowl. The water splashed out onto the dirt floor.

“What is wrong?” Tecumseh asked.

I inched backwards away from the bowl and from him.

“What was in the water?” I asked.

“It was just water. Are you well?” 

“I don’t think I am. That was not my face in the water.” I responded to Tecumseh.

“Not your face?”

“I think I need to sleep. I’m seeing things.” I laid back, my head spinning. It was all beginning to make sense. However, I didn’t want to believe it. All signs pointed to the fact that I was not Julia, but rather Elizabeth Hollinger. Whoever that was.

Exhaustion took over and I fell asleep quickly. My sleep was restless. I kept hearing Evan’s voice. He was calling me to come back to him. Part of me wanted to go to him to see if he had a relative named Elizabeth. But with every fiber of my being I fought to stay with Tecumseh.

It was midday when I woke. I felt sore all over. If it wasn’t my body, how did I feel it? I was still processing when I realized Tecumseh was beside me, asleep. I turned on my side and stared blankly trying to figure it all out when I felt him reach for me. He pulled me closer to him. The reassuring warmth of his body allowed me to be momentarily distracted from my ever active brain.

Sleepily, Tecumseh whispered, “Chepi.”

I sighed contentedly feeling every muscle in my body and most of his. It was like his love had brought me back to life. As soon as I felt it, it didn’t feel quite right. I had not been dead before. I had family, friends, a boyfriend, and a life. But it felt good and I didn’t question it too much. 

We laid together for quite a while. Finally, the call of nature got the better of both of us and so we left our dwelling and found places to handle our needs. As we met back at the dwelling, Tecumseh had a bowl of water again.

“Would you like to look again?” He asked.

“Take me to the water. I want to get into it and really look at myself.” I replied.

He sat the bowl down and took my hand leading me to a creek. I waded into it to my waist. I looked up at the sky and then closed my eyes. Looking at my reflection would be the answers I needed. Steeling myself, I looked down and realized immediately, the face looking back at me, was not my own.

Suddenly, there was a flash and I heard a giggle. A man’s face came to me and he called me “Poppet.” There were other faces. A woman’s face came to me and she called me “Lizzie.” And as I felt like I was falling backwards, there was another flash and I was back in the creek, staggering backwards. Tecumseh was there to catch me.

“What did you see?” He asked.

“A face, many faces. None of them I recognize. I’m scared, Tecumseh. I don’t know what is going on.” I answered.

“We better go find my brother. He might be able to help.” Tecumseh grabbed my hand and pulled me from the creek.

I stopped. “Hold on, just a moment. I want to look again.” I let the water calm once more and looked again. As I took in the features, there was a familiarity to them. It was all in the eyes. The color, the shape, the brows. It was then that I realized that the face had to belong to one of Evan’s relatives. It had to. It explained his eyes. Relaxing visibly, Tecumseh grabbed my hand once more.

“It is time to go, Chepi.”

I sat by the camp site as Tecumseh packed up what was needed. The dwelling was to stay put as it was well concealed and offered refuge against the elements in the middle of nowhere. I felt him moving about, but my mind continued to wander down every rabbit hole. It was nearing evening by the time everything was packed, but we started out nonetheless.

We rode until the last shred of light was gone from the horizon. We were headed back west, but definitely not the way I had come. We were travelling way south of Fort Greenville. The crickets began chirping and the moon had risen before Tecumseh finally brought his horse to a stop. He hopped down and led the horse a ways into a thicket of downed trees. He helped me down off the horse and went about setting up a place for us to sleep.

We slept the night and got moving again in the morning as soon as we could. We rode most of the day and stopped late in the evening. We watched the sunset, ate a little, and fell asleep under the stars. We were awoken in the middle of the night by storms, but Tecumseh quickly covered us and held me close for warmth. When we woke in the morning, it was still raining by the storms had passed.

It was going to be a warm day and quite humid. We continued to slog through damp earth, westbound for a while. Late in the day we crossed the creek that I figured was the Greenville Creek and then Tecumseh began to race westward as fast as the horse would carry us. We stopped in a village that night where Tecumseh was received warmly. He offered explanations as to who I was, but we were pretty much left to ourselves once we had eaten.

In the comfort of a cool dwelling, with dry clothes, we spent the evening talking and touching. We made love and slept deeply. We woke in the morning and fell into our normal routine of answering nature’s call, eating, packing up, and leaving. 

Early afternoon on the third day of travelling, we had arrived to yet another village. Tecumseh assured me that Lalewithaka should be at this village. He had me remain on the horse as he disembarked seeking his brother. When he returned, he climbed back on the horse and we were off again as we had missed his brother by a day.

Finally, the next afternoon, we found him watering his horse out in the open. Tecumseh whistled and Lalewithaka looked up and around without whistling back. When he saw us riding towards him, he left his horse to drink and walked right up to us.

“I am glad to see you have found her and that she is not harmed.” Lalewithaka said to Tecumseh.

“She was on her way to die. We were able to get her back before they were successful. But we had to kill six white men. They will be looking for us. We need to hide for a while.” Tecumseh explained.

They spoke to each other in their native tongue and I sat waiting for what the next move would be. It wasn’t a long conversation because within minutes of discussing, Tecumseh took off and Lalewithaka fell in behind us. Tecumseh explained to me as we were galloping that there was another dwelling, out in the middle of a wooded area that only his people knew about. It was far removed from tribal lands, but so well hidden that many warriors had sought refuge there to lose those tracking them. We would be safe for a while there. 

It was a day and a half travel time. When we arrived, the dwelling was much larger than anticipated and was conveniently close to water and good hunting. We set up our belongings as if we were going to be there a while. We settled down around the fire that night and it was as if nothing had happened. The brother would talk to each other and I would sit, lost in thought.

The morning of our first full day at the dwelling, Lalewithaka went out hunting, Tecumseh took me with him to go fishing. Upon arriving to the river he wanted to fish in, he uncovered a canoe that was hidden beneath some branches. He held it steady while I got in and then he handed me a paddle. As we rowed, I looked over and stared at the reflection. 

The hazel eyes were kind and understanding. The hair was dark and curly like mine had been. The nose was similar to mine, but slightly different. There was a mole next to the nose. The eye brows were dark and finely shaped. So many of her features were similar to mine. I couldn’t get over the fact that I didn’t notice it before. I began making note of other features. Similar body type. Similar hand size. However, there was a mole between her middle finger and ring finger and I was nearly certain that I didn’t have a mole in that location.

I began reasoning out all the ways I may have missed it. Different underwear, different clothes, different time frame, different soaps, different everything. I missed it because I was so drawn up in focusing on where I was and what I was enduring that I didn’t bother to question the little things. Before the day when I saw the reflection, I had no reason to question my appearance. But now that I had seen, there were so many differences and all noticeable now that I saw them.

We paddled out to an island in the middle of the river. Tecumseh fished for most of the morning. In the afternoon, we napped together beneath the trees. As evening came, we took the catch back to the hidden dwelling where Lalewithaka was finishing the process of making meat ready for cooking or curing. We spent the evening talking, eating, and cooking. Lalewithaka had brought plenty of salt and spices, but some of our supplies were running a touch low.  
“There is a village I can go to tomorrow to get some more food. I will not be gone more than a day.” Lalewithaka stated.

“Do you need me to come as well?” Tecumseh asked.

Lalewithaka responded, “No, I will be able to get what we need on my own.”

“What should we do?” I asked.

Silence fell in the dwelling. The brothers refused to look at each other. Finally, Tecumseh spoke, “We will continue to search for food.” Lalewithaka relaxed and rose to his feet. 

“I need to see the stars.” And with that, Lalewithaka left the dwelling.

“Did I say something I should not have?” I asked.

Tecumseh furrowed his brow. “No, you did not. My brother knows that I have claimed you.”

“I see.” I responded.

“He also knows what you told me. How you know what you know.” He continued.

“Oh.” I said flatly.

An uncomfortable silence fell between us. Until finally, Tecumseh spoke again.

“Chepi, you need to know.”

“What do I need to know?” I asked.

“You are precisely as Lalewithaka saw. Every word, every move, every appearance. He always said you would arrive, out of nowhere, in the sacred space.”

“The sacred space?” I asked.

“The land you woke up on, it is sacred ground for my people. A blessed land by the many spirits that guide my people. A place where we give thanks and are given special ability. At the turn of each season, we gather there, give sacrifices, dance with our ancestors. It is a place where all my people exist in the past, present, and future.”

“Do you visit the sacred place all the time?” I continued questioning.

“No. You woke up two days after our gathering. Most of the tribe had left. Lalewithaka asked me to stay behind to watch for you. The day I was to leave was the day you woke up in the clearing.”

It couldn’t all be coincidence. And seemingly without any warning other than the drunken vision of Tecumseh’s brother. It was all too much to wrap my mind around. I knew that Tecumseh felt as though the vast majority of Lalewithaka’s visions were uncertain, but the vision about me seemed to be the most clear vision he had ever had.

“What happens now?” I wondered out loud.

“We stay here for a while before we go back to my village.” Tecumseh responded.

“What about Mamate?” 

“My brother said she returned to her village to be with her mother and sisters while she waits for birth. They will send for me when it is born.” 

“What am I supposed to do when we get to your village?” I needed to know how I fit into the village life.

“You will stay with me and my brother. With my family.”

“And what about us? Do I go back to just being a guest? Or am I your woman?”

“Mamate is my woman. You are something else.”

“A mistress.”

“What is a mistress?” Tecumseh asked.

“Nothing. Nevermind. So will we still lay together?” I asked wanting to know if the love I felt for him was going to be placed on the back burner.

Tecumseh looked at me. The fear returned to his eyes. He rose and came to sit beside me.

“You have my life. You have my heart. And I fear it will kill both of us.” He took my hand and placed it against his chest. I could feel his heart racing.

“You have my heart. You have my life. Even if it kills us both.” I answered. I leaned forward and kissed him softly.

Life was becoming more complicated, but it was too late now. The bed had been made and come hell or high water, I was going to have to lay in it.


	7. Deal with the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to Tecumseh's village proves troublesome as it prompts Julia's unwanted return to her own time. She confronts the truth of what happens to her when she falls into her deep sleeps. In dealing with the fall out from these confrontations, she journeys to Fort Greenville in her own time and makes one critical decision that may keep her from ever returning to Tecumseh.

There is a famous author that is quoted as saying, “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies.” I had read so much in my years that I couldn’t say how many lives I had lived. There were so many history books with so much violence in them that there was no way I could recall all the information from every battle. In all of my history book reading, especially on the battles for the “new world,” my focus had solely been on the pain and suffering of the people my ancestors had kicked off of lands they had inhabited for centuries. I kept feeling that I was leading too many lives at once while reading. The stress of standing on the edge of oblivion begins to wear on a person, even when only imagining what it must have been like.

And having lived more than one life literally, I knew better than most how taxing each struggle was on a soul. I could come to grips with the dissonance caused by traveling through time. However, there became an awareness of the battle raging between my mind and the body of someone who wasn’t me. Most days I could ignore it. Other days it became too much to bear. I would sleep and hear the voices of my loved ones in 2019. There were the sounds and smells of a hospital in my dreams, but I never allowed myself to wake to them. I knew I was living two lives at once, but the one in 1795 needed me more than the one in 2019.

The summer began to heat up and so we would sleep during the day and hunt and gather at night. Tecumseh and I stole every moment we could alone to continue the exploration of our relationship and each other’s bodies. Many nights we would wander off to fish only to be distracted by the nearness of the other and find ourselves entangled in desire beneath the stars.

The coming months would be nothing if not tiresome as I waited out the coming storm. I held off for as long as I could, but time waits for no one. I relented to leaving the secluded dwelling when I realized just how badly the Shawnee people needed their warrior and leader. Our trip back to Tecumseh’s village being the furthest thing from my mind, Lalewithaka and Tecumseh would scout daily and found more and more natives moving towards Fort Greenville ahead of the signing of the treaty.

It was around the end of June nearing the first part of July when we departed the dwelling in the middle of nowhere. The daily scouts had shown that less natives were moving into the area ahead of the signing of the treaty and so we would travel on foot, slowly, at night. After too many nights spent walking, we finally arrived at Tecumseh’s village.

The welcome was warm enough. The atmosphere of the village felt as though they had been beaten down and defeated. The first day or so, Tecumseh and Lalewithaka spent catching up with their people, learning what had happened. They brought news from the other tribes that we had encountered that were ready and willing to fight. And in turn they were made aware of the tribes who had been destroyed by white man, their weapons, their illnesses, and their vices.

In our time together, I had begun to learn their language and was understanding more and more. Tecumseh continued to refer to me as Chepi, but Lalewithaka had returned to calling me the white mare. His tone took on a more sinister note when he spoke of how the weapon he had been sent may just be a weapon that destroys all of his people. Tecumseh would shoot daggers from his eyes at his brother when he spoke in this manner, but it didn’t seem to dissuade Lalewithaka from speaking that way.

I knew that their relationship was suffering because of me. With Lalewithaka beginning to fear what I meant for his people, I began to fear being alone. I had no real friends in the village except for Tecumseh. We spent our evenings in his family’s tent and I could tell that my presence wasn’t exactly welcome. One afternoon Tecumseh came in while I was patching some of my clothes and working on weaving baskets for the various items I had collected.

“What did you say?” He asked me.

“What? I have not said anything.” I responded.

“Did you speak to anyone?”

“No. I do not speak your tongue well.” I answered.

Tecumseh looked around and came to sit by me. Speaking in English, he continued, “There is word spoken in the village that you have cursed my people by your own words in my language.”

“Have you talked to your brother? That sounds like something he would say.”

“My brother is the one who told me that he overheard the women saying they heard you speaking curses under your breath.”

I scoffed at this, “Tecumseh, you know why I am here. You know I would not curse you or your people. I want to help. Is it possible it is just imagined?”

“I do not know. They want proof that you have cursed your former life.”

“My former life? Tecumseh, you know that I do not know my family. They are as foreign to me as I am to your people.”

Tecumseh rose and grabbed me by the arm and led me out of the dwelling. We walked a ways out of the village finally stopping beneath a weeping willow. In the cool of the shade, Tecumseh took a seat and motioned for me to do the same.

“I know that you do not know your family. But my people do not.”

“Can’t you have Lalewithaka explain it to them?” I asked.

“They will not believe him. He drinks. His words are easily shifted.”

“What do I need to do?”

“Help us find your family. If we can prove that you have left them to be with me and my people, maybe they will know.”

“What about your warriors that helped to rescue me from the transport?”

“They did not see you disown your family.”

I looked down at my hands fidgeting in my lap. I thought for a moment. “I will not know them. How can I help if I do not know their faces?”

“You do not need to know their faces. I will find them. Is there information that could help us find them?”

“I know they were settlers.” And then suddenly, as if in a trance, I saw a face and heard a name. I blinked a couple of times and saw another face. The voice in my head was not mine, but it was somehow familiar. The voice gave me names. I relayed them to Tecumseh as they were spoken to me. “Ask for Jacob and Elizabeth Hollinger.” Once again, the voice came clear, this time with a location. “Pennsylvania. I have a feeling you’ll find them in Pennsylvania.” 

Tecumseh rose and helped me to my feet. We walked back to the village and he left me at the dwelling to go find his warriors. I returned to my work and got lost in my thoughts. I must have been thinking for a good long time because when my mind finally returned to the present task, it was dark outside. The next thing I realized was that my hands were bleeding and there were women staring at me in horror. Tecumseh had just returned from his search and came over to me immediately. He grabbed my hands and looked at them.

“What happened?” He asked.

“I do not know. I was working and thinking. Now my hands are bloody.” I felt as though I were a small child, in trouble for being careless.

Tecumseh looked around and asked the women if they saw anything. Many shook their heads and a few responded in the negative. Tecumseh told the women to disperse. As they left, he was left looking at me in bewilderment. He lifted me to standing and ushered me out of the dwelling. We walked a ways down the row of native homes to a smaller dwelling and he entered.

After a short time, Tecumseh returned outside of the dwelling and ushered me inside. The interior of the dwelling was hazy and warm. There was a smell of sweet spice, but also rancid decay. As my eyes adjusted, I could see there were various items hung about the dwelling and a small, frail old woman sat next to the fire. Without opening her eyes, she called to Tecumseh, “Bring her closer.” He guided me next to the old woman.

“Sit,” she gruffed. I wondered if she was any relation to Tecumseh. I sat next to her. “Leave us.” She commanded of Tecumseh. Without a second thought or word, he left.

The old woman turned and opened her eyes. They were so dark I could not tell what color they were. They seemed clouded as well. She took my hands. I tried to warn her, but she shushed me as her hands slid across my palms. Her eyes rolled back in her head. And she began to speak.

“Julia. Elizabeth. You are at war with each other. Life and death resides within you. You must work together to live.”

She spoke my name. And then as if something hit me, I was sitting to the right of the old woman looking at her hand in hand with the reflection from the water. She released her hands and looked at me, taking my hands. I felt her warmth, but could see through myself as if I were a fog.

“You are out of time. I must heal her body before you can continue your journey within her. You will be back. Do not fear. I will call you back when she is ready to carry on. It will not be long. You must go now.” She released my hands and laid her palm on my head. She spoke words that I did not understand and I fell deep into sleep.

When I started to regain consciousness, my senses were assaulted with smell and sound that was not obviously not from 1795. I realized then that she had sent me back to my time in 2019. When my eyes fluttered open, I first saw Evan. He sat with a textbook, next to the bed, reading. I quickly assessed my condition. No breathing tube, just oxygen in the nose, an IV, and heart monitors. I cleared my throat.

Evan looked up. When he saw me, he stood up quickly. He came around the side of the bed and pressed the call button and then sat down on the bed and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around him feeling as though my body weighed entirely too much. I realized my arms were thin as were my legs, but I could feel the strength coming back to me.

“How?” He pushed back and searched my eyes. Then something flicked across his face like there was a realization that something was off. I was just about to speak when a nurse came in and immediately rushed to the side of the bed. She radioed for more doctors and nurses.

After a bevy of activity from medical professionals assessing my stability, Evan and I were once again alone. “Laura had class. Your parents visit on the weekend. I spend every minute I can here. Are you okay?”

Feeling as though I had betrayed Evan, I didn’t quite know how to respond. I couldn’t find the words. He saw me struggling.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. I am just happy to see you awake.” He reached for my hand and held it. “You have been out for months now. They said you’d probably never wake again, but you were stable enough with great brain activity, so that alone was enough to hope. And I have hoped.”

He reached for his phone and quickly texted my sister and parents. “I’m sure they’ll be here as soon as possible. We have all missed you so much.”

Feeling as though my time with him may be short, I had to ask questions. “Where is your family from?”

Confused and taken aback, he stammered for a moment. “Alright, I take it you are okay. My family is from Ohio. Why?”

“I know that, but in 1795, where did your family reside?” I pushed.

“This is strange. Why are you asking?” He asked. “Are you okay? Really?”

 

I cleared my throat again. “Yes, I’m fine. A little hoarse and I feel weak, but my mind is fine. Was your family from Pennsylvania?”

“Yes, they are. Why?”

“Did you have a relative name Jacob and Elizabeth?” I asked.

“Julia, you are scaring me.”

“I’ll tell you everything, just answer me.” I demanded.

“Yes, Jacob and Elizabeth Hollinger were relatives of mine. They are my fifth great grandparents.”

“Did they have a daughter named Elizabeth?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I just know that my four times great grandfather was Samuel. I know he had siblings, but I don’t know how many or names or anything. Why?” He asked.

“If I tell you something, will you promise not to say anything to anyone?” I asked.

“Julia, I would die for you. I love you and I will do whatever I can to help you.”

“Listen, I’m going to go back into a sleep. I hear you guys sometimes when I’m sleeping. Don’t be worried. I’ll come to again. I just don’t know when.”

“What are you talking about?” He asked.

“I don’t know what exactly it is, but I can tell you that it’s like the most intense, real dream like state ever. I go places and I do things. I have adventures and relationships. I can’t be awake in both places. So when I fall into a deep sleep in one, I wake in the other.”

“Julia, you are talking about leading two lives. Do you know how that sounds?” He asked.

“Evan, trust me, I know I sound crazy, but you are going to have to trust me on this. I’ve gone through something like this before. My family passes it off as crazy dreams. It may be that, I don’t know. All I know is that this has happened before. This time it is VERY different, but it’s the same thing as before.”

“You have not been well for a while now. I have sat through it all, watching them poke and prod, take tests and scans without finding any answer at all. Dr. Wayne went home weeks ago. And you mean to tell me it’s just really intense dreams?”

“I don’t know how to explain it and I certainly don’t want to get into it now before my family gets here. I just need to know that you’ll listen and trust me. You have no reason to believe me a liar, right?”

“I guess. It’s just so far fetched.”

“I cannot believe it myself, but if you were living it, you’d want a friend to trust with the secret. I need to know I can trust you and that you will believe me.”

“Seeing as I want to be more than your friend, I guess I have no choice but to trust you. And you can trust me.” He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it. At that moment, Laura burst through the door, huffing and puffing.

“What the hell, Julia?” She smiled. “I just sat down in class and then I have to run the whole way back here because you decide to wake up? Always making my life difficult.” She chuckled and walked over to the side of the bed and hugged me tightly.

The three of us sat and chatted for a couple of hours. Evan and Laura had taken extra summer credits so they could stay close. My attacker had been found guilty and was being sentenced within the next week or two, but everyone expected him to serve life in prison for the damage he caused. Mom and Dad showed up and we all spent the better part of the evening chatting about all the things I had missed.

Mom and Dad left to get a hotel room. Laura left to go back to our apartment. And Evan stayed put.

“You aren’t going to go home?” I asked.

“This is home. I moved my stuff out of the apartment I was renting with friends and put it all in storage. I was spending more time here than there anyway. I eat almost all of my meals here, sleep here, and commute to school from here. I even got a job here.”

“You got a job here?!?!” 

“Yes, you are looking at the social media marketing assistant.” He laughed.

“Look at you!” I chuckled.

“I had to. Only employees are allowed to stay after visiting hours. So I told them they better give me a job because I wasn’t leaving.”

My heart squeezed listening to his stories of how he moved heaven and earth to stay by me. In all the time I spent with Tecumseh, he was there, by my side. It wasn’t that I was trying to avoid him, but rather that I was trying to help Tecumseh. I had fallen in love with Tecumseh, too, but Evan was my rock. He was the one person who was there through it all. And there was something about that, that made it incredibly difficult to be honest about what had happened.

“Wow, Evan, thank you for loving me that much.”

“I know if it were me, you’d do the same.” Internally I winced because there was one point when I might have, but I was beginning to think that I might not agree. My heart strings were beginning to tug for Evan. Tecumseh was the past. What would my future hold? Tecumseh was going to die. And what happened after that? I didn’t know, but some part of me suddenly realized that I couldn’t live only for Tecumseh. I had to live also for my sister, my parents, and my incredibly devoted boyfriend.

“Listen, Evan, if you want out, I’ll understand. It seems crazy and I don’t want to pull you down with me. You should live the life you want.”

“Julia, ever since the day I first talked to you, I knew you were the love of my life. I have no idea how I knew it, but I knew it. I would walk through fire for you. If this is the fire, I’m ready to walk through it for you.”

“I just don’t want to hurt you and I’m afraid that’s all I’m going to be able to do at this point.”

“You’ve done literally nothing except lay there for the last couple of months. I’m sure you’re not going to hurt me.”

“We’ll see what you think when I tell you about these deep dreams.”

“I’m ready to listen.” He responded.

I began by telling him about the times in the past that I had gone back as myself. A couple hours, a couple days, nothing great. He nodded and listened. Then I told him about how I woke in the clearing after my head was bashed against the dumpster. I told him about how I was held at Fort Greenville, how I had been shot outside of Fort Greenville and then broken out of Fort Greenville by natives. I told him about the native prophecy and how we rode to native villages to convince other natives to resist the white man’s treaty.

I told him how I came to after being attacked by the wolf. And then, I hesitated to tell him the rest. The rest was how I had fallen in love with Tecumseh and how we had grown together. I told him, however, and cried. I cried recounting everything I went through with Tecumseh, how he rescued me and we spent the following weeks enjoying each other in every way possible. I continued to cry as I saw how his shoulders slowly slumped.

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I didn’t even know any of this was possible.”

“Do you love him?”

I heard the sob before I felt it. “Please don’t make me answer that.”

“Julia, listen, I promised to stand beside you and nothing is going to change that. I just need to know where you are at with all of this yourself. I can’t be what you need me to be if you aren’t honest with me and yourself.”

“It’s so hard to say, Evan. Really. I love you. I have loved you for the longest time. I knew, too, when we started talking that you were the one I wanted to spend my life with, but then this all happened and things with Tecumseh just blindsided me.”

“But Julia, if you love him and you plan to go to him every time things here get hard, then you are setting us both up for a lot of pain and suffering. Like I said, I’ll walk through fire for you, if that’s what you want. But I can’t share you.”

“Evan, it’s more complicated than that. I feel for him. His people are at stake and I’m the one telling him that’s the case. I can help him. Save him the pain.”

“Julia, if that was true, then would we even be sitting here talking like this right now? Tecumseh dies defending his people. The natives are systematically wiped out and carted off to reservations. The Prophet is a beaten down, washed up, shell of the native he had been. You’ve done nothing to change that. To believe you could at this point is futile.”

“Then perhaps I can give him comfort. I don’t know. I just want to be next to him as he battles what is trying to kill him.”

“So you do love him.”

“I guess, in a way.”

“Where does that leave me?”

“You are my future. You always have been, always will be.”

“And yet you run to him.”

“Don’t you see? No matter how things are here, they are always worse there. If you had a chance to live through it, see it unfold before your eyes, with proof, to understand the story in a way no history book could ever teach you, wouldn’t you? And just because I go there doesn’t mean that I want to stay there. I want to have a future here, but I want to see things through with Tecumseh. I want to ride to the end of the line with him to see how it all played out from his side of history. I can’t do that without being his everything.”

“And what am I supposed to do while you are out there being Tecumseh’s lover?”

“I don’t know. I never asked you to stay with me. I didn’t want you to stay with me. You should have moved on without me.” I felt the tears roll down my cheeks.

“You are sorely mistaken if you think that’s the kind of man I am. I would never leave you because of what you’ve been through. I can’t explain this, but I don’t need to. You didn’t go looking for this, it came to you. Whether it is exactly what you say it is or it’s just a coping mechanism to deal with what you’ve endured, I’m here for the long haul. I’m not deserting you now.”

“There’s something else.”

“What?”

“When I’m there, my name is Elizabeth Marie Hollinger, daughter of Jacob and Elizabeth Hollinger.”

“What?”

“That’s how I knew. When I showed up in that time, I told them my name was Julia Hollinger. The people at the fort sent out word looking for my family. They found your great, great, great, great, great grandfather and identified me as his missing daughter.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m sorry, Evan.”

“Don’t. Don’t be sorry. I need to think. I’m going to go for a little walk. Will you still be awake when I come back?”

I explained to him that I thought I was blocked from returning by the medicine woman, but he just shook his head and left the room. I sat in the silence for a while before drifting off into a peaceful sleep. I was awoken suddenly some time later by Evan shaking me.

“Are you still here?” He asked.

Swatting at him, “Yes, I’m here, ease up!” 

“Sorry, I thought you had gone back again.”

“It’s okay. I called my dad while I was out walking. I had him send me my family tree and any people or events of note. It freaked me out when he sent me what he had. The relatives you are speaking of, they had several children, Elizabeth was among them. She went missing before her wedding and was presumed dead because she never returned.”

“Do they know what happened to her?”

“This was hundreds of years ago. But according to the stories my dad heard as a kid, the natives took her. That lines up with what you are saying. I got chills reading through it. I believe you.”

I relaxed. He might be the only person who would ever believe me. He hugged me and we fell into easy conversation. For the next few days, he was in and out between school and work, but my family was also around. We started getting me out of bed and walking. I didn’t realize how weak I had become until I got winded after moving from the bed into a chair one day.

I don’t know what Evan told people, but everyone was pushing to get me mobile as soon as possible. It was one week to the day that I had woken up in 2019 and Evan came by around lunch to tell me he had something special planned for dinner. I had been off the oxygen and IV for a couple of days and was improving daily. That evening, Laura showed up with some clothes.

“You, my dear sister, get to be normal for the evening.” Laura beamed with a huge smile. My strength was returning but slowly. I wasn’t up for running a marathon or anything, so after she got me all dressed and dolled up, to be safe, she wheeled me down the hall and out to the elevator. We went down a few floors to the main floor and out to a waiting vehicle. Evan was behind the wheel and Laura helped me into the car. Once I was buckled, we were off.

Evan held my hand as we drove south. It wasn’t much more than an hour and a half before we arrived in Greenville, OH. We drove around for a while while Evan explained where the parameters for the fort had been. We ended the evening by stopping off at a small local restaurant and then walking to a site called Tecumseh’s Point Preserve. I tried recalling the route I had walked that day when I woke in the clearing. I didn’t know what field or which direction, but I just kind of followed my gut. 

The trees fell away and the hairs on the back of neck stood up. Looking around, I felt as though I’d stepped into the past. I saw myself standing there, with a dress and everything, listening, smelling, feeling, and knowing I was on the path that I had taken to get to the fort. In the moment, I followed my feet. I felt heavy as though I was carrying the heavy clothes I wore that day.

Evan quietly followed. And her voice. Her voice echoed behind me, urging me onward, to show Evan where she had been. As I crossed a bridge to get to the area where the fort would have been, my knees crumpled beneath me. My strength was gone and I couldn’t walk any further. Evan rushed to my side and it was as if I was under water. His words were muddled and I could feel my consciousness falling away. 

A streak of energy hit me and I sat bolt upright, eyes wide open. I saw her coming towards me. Elizabeth. She was there and I kept my eyes on her.

“Tell him. Tell him so my family can rest.” It was her voice and not mine.

“What do you want me to tell him?” I asked.

“The truth!” Elizabeth demanded.

“I don’t know the truth. I just know what happened when I woke up in your body.”

“He took me. Frederick. He did not want to marry me. He hit my head and took me far away. He said he was going to kill me. His love was for another. I was supposed to die.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Not then. I died years later. When you were done with me. Tell him the truth so they stop wondering. So they know. All that happened was because my betrothed did not love me.”

“I am sorry.”

“Do not be sorry. It is because of you that I know what love is like. It is because of you that when I should have died, I did not. You let me see something beautiful. Something I would not have seen had you not rescued me from where Frederick dumped me. In many ways, you saved me and gave me a few precious years to understand life in a way I would not have. But please, tell him.” She began to step back. “I’ll see you again soon.” Her voice nearly a whisper as she disappeared and I was left looking at the cars driving by and homes erected over what would have been the fort.

“Are you alright?” Evan asked.

“I saw her. Your relative. With my own eyes.” I sat in his arms shaking.

“You saw what?”

“She told me to tell you. Her betrothed kidnapped and attempted to murder her. I am the only reason she survived. But I don’t know the rest of her story, Evan. I don’t know when she died or how.”

“It’s okay, Julia, it’s okay.” He soothed. “Can you walk?”

I nodded and Evan helped me to my feet. He wrapped my arm around his shoulder and helped to carry me out of the wooded trails back to his car. He got me seated and buckled and then we departed Greenville to head back to the facility that was “home.” We rode quietly for a while before Evan spoke.

“I am sorry.” Evan said quietly.

“What? Why?” I asked.

“I thought it would be good for you to see the area in this time. I didn’t think it would lead to this.”

“Evan, it’s fine. I’m okay.”

“I saw you crumple. I heard you mumbling, but I couldn’t make out any words. It looked as though all of your strength was sucked right out of you. You went pale. For a moment, I thought I had caused your death.”

I wished I could have seen things from Evan’s perspective, to understand what he felt, what he saw, how he hurt. But I was so wrapped up in what I was enduring that I couldn’t focus on anything else.

“I’m sorry.” I finally answered.

“I don’t think it’s your fault for one second. All of this seems to be happening because of the attack. Don’t apologize. I’m willing to follow you down this path.”

“But what if this path uncovers things you don’t want to know?”

“Like solving one of the greatest mysteries of my family spanning back a couple hundred years or so?”

“That. Or, what if that mystery was left a mystery by your past family to save your future family suffering.”

“That was then. This is now. I wouldn’t be going to college for a degree in history if I didn’t find the whole thing fascinating. More than anything, I just want you to come out of it okay on the other side. You’ve been through enough. I don’t want my family’s history to be the reason you end up dead.”

“I don’t think it’ll come to that.” I answered.

Evan reached for my hand and squeezed it. “I could not live with myself if I was the reason you died. Whatever it takes, you must always come back to me.”

I looked over at him. His devotion to me was inspiring. I did not know what it was that drove him to be so determined to make a future with me, but I loved him for it. Albeit a different love than that I had with Tecumseh, but love nonetheless. A comfortable silence fell over the vehicle and it wasn’t long before I started to doze.

I dreamed of chanting and wood smoke. I smelled alcohol and felt the presence of spirits. I knew that the medicine woman was trying to call me back, but I wasn’t ready to give in and return. I listened to the rain outside the dwelling and I heard Tecumseh’s voice. I knew they were making a way for me, but I would not allow Evan to believe he had, in any way, caused my relapse into that world.

As I listened, I whispered, “I will return soon. Not yet.” And slowly the voices faded. All sensation was gone as I awoke in the car as we arrived back to the care facility. Evan parked at the turn around by the front door. It was dark outside now and he would have to go in to get a wheelchair to take me back to my room. He turned the car off and looked at me.

“He’s calling for you, isn’t he.” Evan stated rather than asked.

“Yes.” I answered shyly.

“Why didn’t you go?” He asked.

I turned to him, “I didn’t want to go without telling you first. With everything that happened in Greenville, I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t like you or that you caused it. I care about you too much to allow you to beat yourself up over it.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. It would have freaked me out.” He chuckled. “I had intended to do this earlier, but things kind of got away from me.” He reached into his pocket. “I had this made after you came to the first time. I’m willing to wait. However long this takes. I want you. Will you marry me?”

He opened the box he pulled out of his pocket and inside was a simple silver band with an emerald inlaid into it. I could feel my cheeks burning Tears welled up in my eyes. I looked at Evan, who stared at me with such hope and affection, and compelled by something akin to obligation, I nodded. He removed the ring from the box and placed it on my finger. He leaned over and kissed me. I felt heat rising within myself, but was unsure of whether it was desire or nervousness. Some part of me couldn’t help but feel as though I had just betrayed Tecumseh and made a deal with the devil. But then another part of me relished the idea of having a future regardless of what I endured in the past.

The moment was broken when a nurse rolled a wheelchair up to the car and knocked on the window. Evan laughed and I chuckled. He got out of the car and opened the door. He helped me into the chair and then walked beside me as we traversed the halls and elevator back to my room. Once I was situated in bed, he told me to stay put so that he could park the car. I nodded and he strode out.

A short time later, Evan returned and sat himself next to the bed.

“When will you go back?” He asked suddenly.

“I don’t know. I haven’t been able to control it, really.” I answered.

“When you were dreaming, on the ride home, you spoke to him. I heard it clear as day. When you fall into those deep sleeps, when you are with him, you are quiet. There is no movement, no sound, just you breathing. You don’t jerk or twitch. There’s nothing about it that indicates your mind is somewhere else. Other than the brain scans, everything is normal.”

I couldn’t remember, “What do the brain scans show?” I asked.

“Increased activity. Your brain receives stimuli that is not occurring and responds to it, while suppressing the body’s reaction. So you are enduring everything you say you are, but at the same time, your brain is keeping your body from reacting to what you are sensing. They had no clue where the stimuli was coming from or how your brain was responding to it without physical movement. Knowing what I know now, it makes sense to me.”

A sudden thought crossed my mind. “You really can’t say anything to anyone about any of this.”

Evan scoffed, “Oh, I wouldn’t. They’d think we were both mental and have us both committed.” He grasped my hand and lifted it to his lips. He was gentle and tender with me. “Although, the thought of being locked up with you is not exactly one I would shy away from, I think it’s better we live with this arrangement for the time being.”

“For the time being? That sounds threatening.” I chuckled nervously.

“Well, at the end of all of this, both of us may need to be committed. Time will tell.”

I couldn’t tell if he was joking or being serious. Part of me worried he was being serious. And just as worry began to flood my system, I felt suddenly tired. Evan turned out the light and turned on the television. The soft hum of technology lulled me into sleep.

This time, when I heard the drums and the chanting, smelled the smoke and alcohol, felt the heat of the fire and the presence of spirits, I did not turn away. I leaned heavily into it and allowed myself to journey back. I could feel time fall away and the slow awakening in a time not my own. I had no feeling of body, suddenly. There was no physical sensation as there had been before when I would wake. When I opened my eyes, I saw the medicine woman. She clasped my hands and looked behind her. I was once again to her right. The recumbent body of Elizabeth was laying next to the fire as if she were merely asleep.

“The spirit of Elizabeth will yield to you as her body now relies on you. You have promised yourself to a white man. Before you can return to my people and to our leader, you must tell me honestly, are you a good spirit or an ill spirit,” spoke the medicine woman.

Perhaps I had made a deal with the devil. The thought of being barred from returning to Tecumseh because of what I had done in the future settled heavily on my soul. As much as I wanted a future, I also wanted to be with Tecumseh. I didn’t know what I wanted more. The conflict that I thought I had put behind me suddenly resurfaced and once again, I had to make a choice.

“Julia. You must choose. If you choose the white man, you are an ill spirit and will not be permitted to return. If you choose Tecumseh, you are a good spirit and can resume your journey with Tecumseh. You must choose.”

And there it was. In accepting Evan’s proposal, I had marked myself as an ill spirit. The only way now to return to Tecumseh was to deny Evan. I was damned either way. If I was going to be damned, then I was going to choose an adventurous love and not a safe future. My mind was made up and I intended to claim good spirit just to be with Tecumseh once more. But before I could speak, my eyes closed and darkness surrounded me.

“Chepi?” I heard Tecumseh’s voice. “Come to me, Chepi.”

Without saying anything to the medicine woman, she sensed what I had chosen. I felt the connection between my spirit and Elizabeth’s body. I felt it yield to me and I knew that I had been allowed to return. Before I could open my eyes, I became aware of all physical sensation and realized that the care facility was far behind me. I smelled Tecumseh. I felt the soft pelts. I heard the drums and the chanting. 

Before I could open my eyes, however, the medicine woman spoke. “You will need to speak to the spirit of Elizabeth. When you are recovered from this, I will help you find her. Until then, rest.”

And with those words, I fell into a peaceful, deep sleep.


	8. There Will Be Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia and Elizabeth have another conversation. Tecumseh leans heavily into his affections for Julia/Chepi. Spiritual and mystical developments give Julia a better standing in the tribe. And peace is found...for the moment.

“We will take their scalps as they have taken ours. We will fight them back from our lands. We will beat them on the field of battle. Chepi has chosen us. Now. She favors us with her blessing of knowledge. We will not allow them to stand or advance into our sacred lands. This is our home and we will not give it to the white man without a fight!”

Their voices raised around him. The tribe was gathered. All the warriors were present. It was time to stand up for what had always been theirs. Lalewithaka sat at his right side and the medicine woman to his left. Chepi’s body laid silent before him. Her features were relaxed and she breathed slowly in and out.

He burned for her and had longed for her. His dreams had been filled with darkness and desperation. Every waking moment was spent by her side, calling on every spirit he could think of to bring her back to him. In the end, there was one spirit that he had not called on that would be responsible for bringing her back.

His riders had returned the day before Chepi was called back. The Hollinger family had been located. They were on their way to a mutual meeting place. Fear ran thick through his veins afraid that Chepi may not rise in time to meet with her family. But he had to continue on with his plan to prove to his people that she was what he and his brother knew she was.

“Rest now my brothers and sisters. The time is coming when we will have to stand against the white man and the nations we have lived alongside for so many moons. To protect our people, we may need to take the lives of people we called brother. It will not be easy. But white man will not stop until we are destroyed. Chepi is proof of this. She will tell you with her own voice as soon as she wakes from her spirit quest.”

He prayed she could hear him. He begged her spirit to hear him. He needed her to rise next to him and do what he knew she would do. He could hear the thunder rolling off in the distance. Rain was coming. It was time to release the tribe so they could retire before the storm pinned them in his dwelling.

The village had erected a dwelling for him, his brother, and Chepi. Knowing that she was the spirit Lalewithaka had said she was, they were willing to find a place for her, but they recognized that it couldn’t be with the rest of the tribe. He secretly wondered if his tribe would come to seek her counsel at some point. If that were to be the case, she would need a place of her own, to help his people. 

The medicine woman had blessed moving Chepi from her tent to the new dwelling. Chepi was going to be fine, but would need to rest to continue her journey. The medicine woman had been quiet for the most part about what had happened in her tent, but word was spreading through the village that the medicine woman had confirmed that the spirit dwelling within the body that laid in front of him was the spirit of a seer. The medicine woman had been troubled after reaching into the sight of the spirit that dwelt in the body of this woman. The spirit allowed her to see things. Things that frightened her. And she no longer questioned.

Chepi had been moved uneventfully. Lalewithaka stayed away from the dwelling as much as possible, but he sat by watching and waiting. Standing in front of her with his tribe gathered around made it seem even more unreal. They all looked on as if she were going to die or animate at any moment.

“Brothers, sisters, she has been resting for a few days. She will return soon. When she does, you will know. Go to your families now and enjoy all the rich blessings the spirits have given to us. Let us use this time to prepare our families and minds for the battle to come. For now, brothers and sisters, celebrate the peace we have today. For there is a tomorrow where peace will be gone and we will have to fight for all we have to remain as we are. Go now and enjoy the life you have!”

A few of his warriors came to him and spoke quickly of the progress of preparations and of Chepi’s family. Their women brought forward gifts of clothes, food, and herbs. Every person dispersed when they felt as though they had seen enough. The last few people left as the first raindrops hit the hides of the dwelling. They tapped quietly, methodically, as if they were calling forth life quietly.

Lalewithaka returned from helping the medicine woman back to her dwelling. He fastened the flap to prevent the storm from blowing rain and debris into the dwelling. 

“The sky is dark as night. The spirits may be angry with us.” Lalewithaka stated.

“I do not believe they are angry with us. I believe they are calling her forward.” He answered.

“I hope you are right.” Lalewithaka mumbled. Ever since he was a child, Lalewithaka had not enjoyed the summer storms. Tecumseh had always enjoyed them and had blessed their lands in the hope of putting his younger brother’s fears aside.

He remembered that evening so long ago. “Listen brother,” he had said, “I will call out to the spirits and pray for their protection over us wherever we reside.”

The words rang in the heavens with another peal of thunder. “Spirit of the sky, the wind, the rain. Spirit of the thunder and lightning. Spirits of the land and air. This land that we love, keep it safe from damage. Protect it from the damages of your anger. May the crazy winds never touch the lands our feet land upon. Hear me, Great Spirit, your warrior and your brother!”

Each rumble struck another line in his memory. He could feel Lalewithaka beside him then. He looked at his brother and Lalewithaka smiled at him.

“I remember that night. I hear your voice still in the thunder. And to this day, the crazy winds have never touched us.” Lalewithaka looked down at Chepi. “However, I fear she may change that.”

“I do not think she will. They have called her here. They would not bring her doom unless it were necessary.” He answered.

A bright flash lit around the dwelling and the thunder followed immediately. Chepi’s eyes shot open. He looked down on her. She met his glance. Lalewithaka rose and ran out of the dwelling to get the medicine woman. He stared deeply into her eyes seeing something new in them. It was as if the light in her eye shown brighter. She smiled at him.

“I am recovered.” She spoke.

“The medicine woman will be here soon.”

“Good.” She responded. “I have one last thing to do before I can be yours.”

He helped her to sit up. Lalewithaka returned with the medicine woman. The medicine woman took her hand and they walked outside. The lightning and thunder came quickly and a great wind rose up.

“This is it.” Lalewithaka said. Tecumseh didn’t know what he meant, but he had a feeling he soon would.

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

I knew immediately what was happening. The Great Spirit had called me from my sleep. I knew I had to talk to Elizabeth. The medicine woman would tell me how. We walked in the wind, rain, and storm. I had no fear because I knew what was coming. Even though the fear was gone from me, walking hand in hand with the medicine woman, I could feel her fear shaking through her frail old body next to me.

“Have no fear.” I said to the medicine woman.

“I can go no further. The Great Spirit will carry you from here.” The medicine woman stood in the storm. She sat herself on the ground and began to chant to herself.

Suddenly, in front of me was a tornado. I heard voices in the wind and rain.

“Go to the crazy wind. Go to her.”

Every fiber of my being as Julia said not to do it. But there was Elizabeth to contend with and I knew I’d find her in the tornado. As I approached it, I felt the wind. Grass and debris hit against my skin, stinging as it whirled past me. I raised a hand to the spinning cloud before me and felt myself sucked into it.

My mind was screaming, “This is how you die!” But then there was a second voice. “Walk forward Julia. I am here.”

I took one step and then another finding my feet still firmly planted on the ground. With both of my hands in front of me, I kept my eyes tightly closed as I feared if I saw what I was feeling I’d lose my ability to move at all. Suddenly someone grabbed my hands. I opened my eyes to see Elizabeth standing there before me. Nearly as I had seen her in Greenville.

“Elizabeth.” I said. The wind roared in my ears, but in it was her voice as well.

“Julia.” She responded.

“I am so sorry.” I said.

“I know. I know it all. I know I will come to you in your time. I know all that you do not. Ask and I will tell you.” Elizabeth glossed over the apology.

“Why?” I asked.

“I was dying. I knew it. The Great Spirit promised life, love, and a great purpose.” She answered.

“And you said yes.”

“I did.”

“Why didn’t you come to me sooner?” I questioned.

“Because you need to see to believe. Had I told you before you realized it was not your body, you would have woken and I would not have the chance to say goodbye.”

“Say goodbye?” 

“My family. They are on their way. You must yield to me and let me say goodbye to them. Once that is accomplished, I will step back and you can move us to what is coming.”

“And what is that?” I asked.

“You know he dies.”

“I do.” I answered.

“I die with him.” She responded.

“What? No, you can’t die with him. You have to go on living.”

“Julia, listen,” she kept a firm grip on my hands, “there is no future for me anywhere else. You do not need to live in my body for the rest of your life. You will be free once you and Tecumseh complete your task. I have made peace with it. I have seen this noble people and I want to help them too. But I can’t, dead as I am.”

“But you are here.” I rebutted.

“To you, but I’m just a spirit. You claimed my body before I could die. My spirit had moved aside. This is the deal I made with the Great Spirit. I am at peace that you are the only way I live on in this time. I just want to say goodbye.”

“But you won’t rest.”

“Not entirely, but what peace I may have will be mine when you are done and that is all the more I can ask. I yield to you. Just let me say goodbye.”

“Yes, of course, you can say goodbye.” I could feel a lump forming in my throat.

“Do not let them kill my family.” She begged.

“I won’t.” A single tear slid down my cheek.

“Don’t cry, Chepi. You have given me a great gift. Life, love, and adventure. It’s why you chose Tecumseh, is it not?” She asked.

“It is.” I sniffled.

“Then let me live it with you. Give me peace when it is time.”

“Okay.” I whispered. “Can I show Evan? At the end of all of this?”

“Show him where. But tell no one else.” She quietly answered. Loud as the wind was, her voice, even at a whisper, was still louder.

I nodded. She let go of one of my hands. The wind got louder and the sight of her began to vanish before my own eyes. She released my other hand and suddenly the world was quiet. I looked around to see that the tornado was gone and a steady rain was pounding on my head. I could hear the thunder rolling off in the distance. I turned around and saw that the medicine woman was still sitting on the ground.

I walked over to her. She opened her eyes and looked up at me.

“You are special. Tecumseh is lucky to have such a fierce warrior to share his love.”

My face flushed crimson. I had always been awful at taking compliments.

“Mamate will not take kindly to his betrayal. You are strong enough to endure.”

I nodded. She rose then, in a way that seemed much to spry for a woman as old as herself. She entwined her arm in mine. With a twinkle in her eyes, she said, “What Mamate does not know cannot hurt her.” She winked at me and we walked back to the village. As we approached the dwellings she released my arm and waddled back to her dwelling.

I smiled and shook my head, happily ready to rejoin the brothers. As I turned toward their dwelling, I noticed a great many natives kneeling at their dwelling entrances, eyes large, and mouths agape. My eyes finally settled on Tecumseh’s and he smiled. Ignoring all the other watching eyes, I ran towards Tecumseh who stepped out of the dwelling, threw his arms wide and caught me in his embrace.

Tecumseh lifted me off my feet and hugged me close to his chest fiercely. I could feel his heart beating against my chest. I leaned my head into the crook of his neck inhaling deeply the scent of him. I had missed his arms around me. I had missed the comfort of his presence. I missed everything about him.

The village came out then to gather round us. Tecumseh put me on my feet.

“I have missed you, Chepi. I needed you so desperately. My spirit soars knowing you are back. Will you speak to the people?” He asked.

“What do I say?” I asked.

“Tell them what you know. Not everything, just what you know happens next.”

“Can you translate for me? I’m not so good at your language yet.” I asked. He smiled and nodded.

I turned to the people gathered round. There was murmuring and I raised my hands to quiet them. They looked at us in fascination. Tecumseh came beside me and nodded at me.

“Noble nation, I stand before you to tell you what the future holds. The white man means to drive you from your ancestral lands. They will come through your fields and villages, killing, spreading disease, and stealing your hunting grounds. They will deplete the land until many animals no longer exist. They will do this for years to come. You must fight against them. You must try to preserve your way of life. You must!”

Tecumseh finished translating and I began again, “But do not harm those who come to you in peace. Harm only those who force you to bow to their kings and queens. Harm only those who would harm you. Seek peace first and if they will not give you peace, do not hesitate. They would see you caged like wild beasts.”

Tecumseh once again concluded translating and there was a loud commotion rumbling through the gathered. I was unsure if he had added anything additional to what I had said, but he left my side and stood in front of me. I understood that he was calling them to war when war came. But there were other things he spoke of that didn’t make sense to me. There was something about warriors riding the wind. And there was something about seers whispering in the trees. I did not understand it all. Finally he told the assembled to go back to their lives. He called on his warriors to come into his dwelling.

The group began to disperse and the warriors came forward. I stood staring as the rain had diminished and the sun was peeking out from behind the clouds. Tecumseh turned and returned to the dwelling. He called my name, “Come, Chepi.” He stood, holding the flap for me. I turned and went into the dwelling.

“Sit.” He gruffed as normal. I sat down next to the fire that had burned down to ash. There was very little heat coming from it, but I could feel it. The warriors began to enter one at a time. Tecumseh sat next to me and nodded at each warrior to sit around the fire. He waited for all to arrive.

“Chepi, you need to tell these men about the family coming for you.”

I looked at him. “I don’t know them, but she does. They are not to harm the family. That is very important.”

“Is that all?”

“Give us room to do what we have to do. When we are done, have your warriors see the family safely back to their home.”

“What will happen if they should kill the family?”  
“It is Elizabeth’s family. She made a deal with the Great Spirit to allow me to use her body to help your people. If you betray her, you betray the Great Spirit and will be cursed, I am sure.”

“I will tell them.” Tecumseh addressed his men and began to explain as best he could that the family we were to meet were being brought at the request of a spirit in the service of the Great Spirit. He warned them that should they do anything to anger me or the Great Spirit that it would curse them for the rest of time. The men looked serious, but nodded in agreement. 

Lalewithaka came in with a peace pipe. He sat himself down next to the fire among the warriors, lit the peace pipe, took a puff or two, and then passed it onto the warrior next to him. When it came to me, I moved to pass it on to Tecumseh, but he refused insisting that I partake. After the contents had been smoked, a jug of something alcoholic was passed around.

We spent the afternoon with the warriors, drinking, eating, and smoking. As the day grew long and the sunset, Lalewithaka and the warriors spilled out into the village calling the others to gather round a large fire in the center of the village. Tecumseh and I were alone for the first time since I had come back to him. And he took no time at all letting me know what was on his mind. 

As soon as the flap stopped moving from the last warrior leaving, Tecumseh faced me and grabbed my face kissing me gently. But as I returned his kiss, there was a sudden urgency to claim each other. Abruptly, Tecumseh rose and fastened the flap. 

Slowly he walked back towards me. I could see the hunger in his eyes when he began to disrobe. I followed his lead and began taking off my clothes as well. He lifted me from my seated position and took me over to the bed of furs and blankets. He sat down and motioned for me to join him. Much too brazen for such flirtation, I opted instead to push him backwards and stand over him. With one foot on each side of his body, I slowly squatted down until the warmth between my legs met the coolness of his thighs.

Tecumseh propped himself up on his elbows and regarded me with an arched eyebrow. It was a question. Was I capable of being what he wanted at that moment? I returned his gaze feeling his growing need beneath my own thigh as it pulsed yearning to find its home. I smiled at Tecumseh, leaning forward and kissing him roughly. As I did so, I used the opportunity to wiggle myself in position to ease him slowly into my body.

I took him, slowly, while kissing him, feeling his rising urgency becoming frantic as I desperately tried to take my time. When he finally had enough of me and my slower rhythm, he flipped me over and crashed into me hard, filling me completely. Roughly, he began to move, seeking oblivion, seeking release, seeking oneness with me. I watched his face as he searched my eyes. I could feel myself beginning to build towards my own inevitable release. My eyes rolled back and closed.

“No, Chepi. Julia, look at me.” He demanded as he continued to touch the darkness within me begging it to come alight. Hearing my given name, I opened my eyes and was immediately engulfed, my whole body on fire, tumbling through ecstasy found only within the confines of my love. As the flames spread, Tecumseh found his own release, further fanning the flames of my lust for all of him. I grasped him tightly as the last few shudders ran through his body, allowing him to find peace within the knowledge of my body. The flames extinguished, he rolled to the side, unwilling to draw himself back from my warmth. The fire still burned within me, but was no longer a raging wildfire threatening to consume everything in its path. 

Tecumseh laid looking at me and I eased onto my side to return his gaze. He said nothing and merely stroked my cheek enjoying the color I felt in my warmed flesh. Knowing it wasn’t really my flesh seemed to make no difference to either of us as we both basked in the afterglow. Neither one of us would speak for a long time and I found myself beginning to be lulled into a peaceful, fully sated sleep.

As I felt myself falling, Tecumseh blew in my face startling me back to wakefulness. Shocked I looked at him confused.

“Do not leave me.” Fear shown in his eyes.

“I will not. I just need to rest. I will wake to you in the morning. Join your people. Enjoy what you have now. I fear too soon it may be stripped from you. I love you.” 

Tecumseh looked at me, nodded, kissed my forehead and left. Deep, restful, restorative sleep came for me. I did not feel him return in the night. But when I woke in the morning, he was there as was Lalewithaka. The fire still glowed slightly and there was a damp chill in the dwelling. I rose, quickly putting my shirt on and walked over to the fire. I grabbed a piece or two of wood and put it on the smoldering ashes. Quickly enough, the fire came back to life and the dwelling began to warm.

I saw Tecumseh stir first. He put his arm out searching for me and came totally awake when he didn’t feel me. He sat up quickly and I smiled at him. I rose from my place at the fire, walked over to where he was laying, squatted down and kissed him.

“I’m sorry I lied.”

“You lied?” He asked.

“I woke to you this morning, but you didn’t wake to me. I should have stayed there.” I nodded towards where I had been sleeping.

“You are here. As long as you are here, it doesn’t matter if I wake and you are there or over there.” He smiled. He took me in his arms and I fell into his embrace. He kissed me tenderly, followed by a quick nibble on my lower lip, and concluded with a growl sound from the back of his throat. I smiled at this and arched my eyebrow at him. 

“Chepi, unless we get up right this second, I will have to eat you.”

“A tempting proposition, but I do think your brother would frown on that wake up call.”

Tecumseh stood up and pulled on his pants. “He would ignore it or leave. I would think he should be used to it by now.” He strode over to the fire, gathering food items from around the dwelling. “Come, Chepi. We have a busy day and you need to eat.”

I went back and sat by the fire. Tecumseh worked to provide me with food and drink. I couldn’t help but think about all I had been through over the last day or so. I was about to ask a question when Tecumseh started talking.

“The whole village is talking about you and the crazy wind.”

“Crazy wind?” I asked.

“The clouds, the wind, that was spinning around you. You walked right into the middle of it. And you came out alive and unharmed.”

“I call that a tornado. And I can only assume I came out safe because it is what the Great Spirit wanted.” I answered.

“Tor-na-do?” Tecumseh asked.

“Yes, that’s what my people call them. What did you call it?” I asked.

“Crazy wind. It blows in every direction and confuses our villages.”

I giggled. “That makes a lot of sense. I’m going to start calling them crazy winds. Did it do any damage?”

“No. It was headed right towards the village and then you stepped into it and it stopped moving. When it started moving again, it disappeared.”

“So everyone was okay?”

 

“Yes, thanks to you.” He answered. “Everyone says you told the spirits of the sky what to do and they listened. You are no longer feared as an enemy, but rather seen as the White Mare that Lalewithaka has been saying you were. They believe now. Their fear turned to awe when you walked out of the crazy wind.”

It was as if Tecumseh had known what I was thinking and answered my questions before I could ask them. Sensing my questions were done on that topic, he switched to a new topic.

“Today we meet her family. Are you ready?” He asked.

“I am. I worry about what she will say to them.”

“She is going to speak?” He asked.

“We spoke in the crazy wind. She wanted the opportunity to say goodbye. I told her I would give her that. But I have to let her talk. I made her promises.”

“And that is why you said we were to not harm her family if they came in peace.”

“Yes. And we have to make sure they get back home safely. I promised her. I promised her so that I could stay here with you.” Tecumseh reached his free hand out and squeezed my hand gently.

“Then we will honor your oath.” We relaxed into a comfortable silence. Lalewithaka lazily woke and joined us for food. After breakfast we got dressed and left the dwelling. Our horses were brought to us and I finally had my own. We set off late in the morning with Tecumseh’s warriors riding around us.

Shortly after midday, in the early afternoon, we rode into a clearing of trees. There were natives around. None of them had weapons drawn. There were a lot of them, but I felt completely safe. I dismounted my horse and Tecumseh followed.

“What do we need to do here, Chepi?” He asked.

I closed my eyes and could feel her trying to take control. “She knows where they are. Follow me, but keep your men back.” I answered. After answering Tecumseh, I felt myself slip out of her body. Standing behind her, with Tecumseh’s hand on her elbow, she stumbled a step or two, but she walked forward into the trees on the opposite side of the clearing.

I heard a sob, but didn’t see anyone. Then I heard Elizabeth’s voice, “Mama?”

A woman in full skirts came crashing through the trees and threw her arms around Elizabeth. She sobbed into her daughter’s hair. Tecumseh let go of her arm and put his hand on his tomahawk at his side. A man came forward with a musket pointed right at Tecumseh. I walked over to Tecumseh and whispered in his ear.

“Do not. They will not hurt you. They are scared. Put your hands up to show them you mean them no harm.” He jumped and looked around. “It is okay. Just listen to me. It is Chepi.” He nodded and rose his arms. The man with the musket lowered the barrel of the gun and walked cautiously towards Elizabeth. He was followed by several young people. I assumed they had to be her siblings.

I froze suddenly seeing a young man who looked exactly like Evan. He stood back, holding a musket at his side while two other young men beside him held pistols at the ready. I walked towards the man who looked like Evan. They looked around and I could hear them whispering to each other. 

“What is this place?” The man who looked like Evan asked.

I responded, “Sacred native land. They will not harm you here. Lower your guns.” At this, they rose them looking around.

“Who said that?” The man asked.

Elizabeth’s voice called to me, “Julia, don’t. You are scaring them.” I walked back next to Tecumseh. The rest of the family flocked to Elizabeth and embraced her. As their weight fell heavy on her, her knees buckled and she fell to the earth. Her mother’s skirts flared around them.

“Mama, Papa, I don’t have time. I’m okay. I love you. You have to let me stay with these people. They treat me well. They love me. They gave me a purpose.”

“But how, Lizzie? How did you come to be by them? And how can you stay with these savages?” Her mother asked.

“They are not savages. They are a noble people. A people who are being killed by people like us. They found me when I was dying. I was left for dead in a place just like this. They found me and brought me back to health.” Elizabeth spoke.

Tecumseh stood back looking amazed. I knew Elizabeth’s voice sounded different than my own, but it must have taken Tecumseh off guard as he stood, mouth ajar, staring in amazement.

“Come, Lizzie, I’m getting you out of here. Someone will pay for what has been done.” Her father said.

“No, Papa. If I go with you, there will be blood. Our whole family will die. Trust me, Papa, I’ll be okay.”

A younger sister grabbed Elizabeth’s hand and wept loudly. Her mother clutched her at the waist and sobbed nearly in unison with her young daughter. Elizabeth looked down at her mother and raised a hand to her mother’s chin. Tilting her mother’s face upward, Elizabeth spoke again.

“I have to go, but this is what I want. Go home. Live in peace. Raise our family to be strong and when you can, make friends with these noble people. They will let you live in peace.” She paused and looked over her family again. “I love you all. I have to go now. Goodbye.”

Elizabeth’s head turned and looked at me. “I’m ready now, Julia. I don’t have the strength to move, please help me.” I ran over to her as she lurched forward. I touched her shoulder and felt myself being pulled into the void of Elizabeth’s body. I heard her sob in my ear and knew she was retreating back.

As I became attached again to hands and feet, brains and breath, I realized her family was still clinging to her arms and waist. I shook them free and stepped backwards.

“I’m sorry.” I said and walked back to Tecumseh.

“What is going on?” Her father asked. “What have you done to her?”

“I’m sorry,” I said again and turned to Tecumseh, saying “lets go” as I turned my back to start walking back into the clearing.

“Wait! You can’t take her. That’s my daughter.” Her father yelled after us. Tecumseh turned and followed me. Suddenly, a loud boom echoed through the trees. “Do not move.” I linked my hand in Tecumseh’s to keep him from reaching for his tomahawk. We halted in our step. I turned to see Elizabeth’s father, gun smoking as he was hurriedly trying to reload. Her brothers had also raised their weapons. I squeezed Tecumseh’s hand, let it go, and then walked back to Elizabeth’s family.

“Elizabeth would be dead if not for these noble people. There is at work, something that you would not understand. You must let me walk away or you will all perish. Show them that not all white people are murderers. For the sake of your daughter.”

Elizabeth’s mother nodded her head. The mother started collecting the younger children. And pulling them backwards as her father and older brothers stood with their guns pointed at Tecumseh. The men began to walk backwards still aiming at Tecumseh. I walked back to Tecumseh who was still facing the clearing with his back turned on Elizabeth’s family. I backed into him so that my body was shielding his. I could feel the heat radiating off of his back as I watched Elizabeth’s family fade out of sight, into the dim, leafy reaches of the woods.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Tecumseh turned to me and kissed me desperately seeking reassurance.

I pulled away, “It’s me. And from now on, it will only ever be me.” A sob choked the back of my throat. He kissed me again and we walked hand in hand back into the clearing. As we arrived, the warriors rushed forward. He told them we were fine. And he warned them to keep their distance in ensuring their safe return to their home. Tensions were running high and he didn’t want to lose a warrior to a trigger happy white man.

Lalewithaka walked forward and grabbed my hand. He searched my eyes for something and once satisfied what he was looking for wasn’t there, he smiled and dropped my hand. He called out to his men to mount up and ride back to the village. Tecumseh released his warriors and they went their own ways according to their assignments. Tecumseh and I were alone in the clearing.

“Now what, Chepi?” He asked.

I sighed heavily. “Now we wait for the war to come. There may not have been blood today. But there will be blood and soon.” I embraced Tecumseh and he laid his head on top of mine. I closed my eyes, feeling the heat of his chest against my cheek and slipped peacefully into contented bliss. War was coming. But there was peace for the moment. With the knowledge of what was on the horizon, I was intent on enjoying the time Elizabeth had given us. By my estimation, we had a little less than a month or two before the treaty was signed and the real struggle began.

As we stood in the clearing, with the sounds of birds and insects humming around us, I couldn’t help but feel thankful for the time I had been given. Watching Elizabeth bid her family farewell sent a twinge of sadness through me for my own. The difference was, however, that I knew I’d return to mine eventually. I could feel Elizabeth still lingering, sadness her lifeblood for the moment. I could feel her gaining comfort from Tecumseh’s embrace as well and knew that she had told me the truth. Because of me, she would know life, love, and adventure. Quietly, her voice chimed in my ear.

“Thank you.”

I whispered back, “You are welcome.”

Tecumseh responded, “Hm?”

“Nothing, let’s go home.” He took my hand and walked out of the clearing to our horses and towards home.


End file.
